All about Eve
by gizmo8us
Summary: The long awaited sequel to choices. Blair and Chuck find their perfect life together shattered when enemies conspire to steal something from them that they can't live without.
1. The dreary end of a long hard battle

It had been a long day. Blair Waldorf-Bass was completely exhausted. It seemed to be her normal state lately. But today was worse than most. She let her eyes scan the impressive Manhattan skyline from where she stood on the balcony of her penthouse apartment. Rain was falling all around her in a steady drizzle that had plagued the city all day but she barely noticed it soaking her clothes as the melancholy of the day permeated her too deeply.

Yesterday she had been angry, so angry she hadn't been able to stop herself from grabbing hold of a vase from its pedestal in the study and flinging it with all her might at the far wall. Today she was so depressed it had been a chore for her to get herself dressed and out the door in time to be where she was supposed to be.

She felt as if she were on a roller coaster and there was no way to get off. Her emotions ranged from out of control to barely containable. The one constant in all the turmoil seemed to be an under laying grief so intense it nearly consumed her.

" Please, Miss Blair," Her faithful maid, Dorota's voice came from just inside the door. " You must come inside. You'll catch your-" She stopped her sentence abruptly, not wanting to say the last word out loud, not wanting to remind her.

Blair ignored her, hardly hearing her over the buzzing in her head that had been with her for the last three days. She found herself unable to focus on much beyond it.

She thought she heard the robust maid give a sigh before she turned and left the room. Blair didn't bother to look to see. It was too much effort, to much energy to exhaust on something so trivial. She didn't care whether or not Dorota stood there and watched her for the rest of the day. She was where she needed to be. Somehow, standing there on the balcony, letting herself get drenched with rain, seemed right. It was fitting. The rain was welcome. It was right, as if the entire city was weeping along with her. As if they too were experiencing the kind of grief she couldn't shake.

" Blair." This voice was much different than the one before and she almost turned towards it. That voice was one of the few things that could break through to her in the last week. It was one of the lifelines she was clinging to as she tried to hold on to reality. " Come inside right now." He told her in a tone that broke no argument, yet still she didn't budge, knowing if she continued to just stand there, he would take charge and move her himself. That option meant less work for her. Let him move her. She didn't really have the will to do it herself.

Chuck Bass, her husband, stepped out onto the balcony beside her and she wanted so badly to fling herself into his arms and let him hold her the way only he could. But again the energy the movement would take was too much. She was too tired.

Finally seeing that she had no intention of moving, he took her by the shoulder and turned her away from the skyline and the rapidly approaching darkness. Then he gave her a push, not a rough push, but a forceful one all the same. It propelled her forward and with a few more similar moves she was inside the formal living room of the place she had come to think of as her home.

The deep piled, beige carpet caressed her bare feet and she had a fleeting thought that she was dripping on it, perhaps ruining it. But again, she couldn't focus on the reasons why she should care about something so mundane. There was a fire roaring off in the corner, surrounded by the white marble mantle that contained it. That was where Chuck was leading her, she realized and she was suddenly grateful. She wanted to feel warm again. She hadn't felt warm in so long.

Dorota was there bustling around the navy damask, Queen Anne sofa with mahogany clawed feet and the two matching chairs to either side of it. She moved out of the grouping of furniture when she realized Chuck was gliding her towards the sofa.

Once he pushed her down onto it, he grabbed a cream colored cashmere throw and wrapped it around her shoulders.

" A cup of tea, Dorota." He ordered in a quiet voice like he was afraid anything louder would startle Blair.

"Yes, Mr. Chuck. Right away."

Once she was gone, he sat down beside her and pulled her into his chest. It had been what she wanted since he arrived on the scene and now she let herself sink into him, reveling in the warmth of his chest.

" I know." He softly cooed in her ear. " But today was the hard part. It's over now."

She nodded numbly though she really didn't believe him. Then she remembered who she was talking to and something inside her began to thaw. Of course he knew what he was saying. He had been exactly where she was now. He had lived through everything she going through and had come out the other side.

She suddenly felt a touch silly. She had had months to prepare herself for the events of the last week. Long, devastating months. And while they were all painful, they should have at least done something to make the end not so hard. All the pain of watching her father waste away should have softened the blow somehow.

But it hadn't. The days leading up to the funeral had been unbearable. Even though Harold had done everything himself when he was still able, the planning was a nightmare. It all seemed so final. But of course it had. It was final. The months of watching him die were over. The days of seeing him in pain were at an end. His life was over. He was gone.

He had held on far longer than anyone had anticipated and she secretly thought she knew the reason for that. Harold was a strong, determined man, always had been. He held on because there were things we needed to wait for. The doctor's prognosis when the whole ordeal began was two years, at best. He had lasted one. Holding on for as long as he possibly could, denying the pain and agony that each treatment put him through. Holding his head high even as his body withered away and betrayed him.

A soft sound from directly behind the sofa grabbed her attention and Blair immediately stirred.

Chuck held her more tightly. " She's fine. Let her sleep." He whispered, stilling her with the lulling sound of his voice.  
But still she wanted to go to her. She needed her suddenly. Needed to hold her in her arms. Evelyn Eleanor Bass was the reason her father had lasted as long as he had. And Blair wanted to thank her somehow for giving him the strength to hold on for so long. Getting to know his granddaughter had been worth the suffering to him and she was grateful to her daughter.

Three and a half months old and she was already making an impact on everyone around her. No one was immune to the charms of the tiny bundle laying in her antique, mahogany bassinet just a few feet away from where her parents sat on the sofa. Eve, as they had christened her, was never without someone lavishing her with affection and attention. Chuck was right, it was better to let her sleep while she could. It wouldn't be long before all the other mourners arrived and the baby was certain to be the center of attention throughout the event, just like she was at every other event.

She often wondered if Chuck's stepmother, Lily's gift of the bassinet hadn't been useless. It was rare that the baby was ever put down long enough to enjoy it. And the man sitting beside her was mostly responsible for that. He seemed absolutely unable to control himself most of the time. He couldn't keep his hands off his infant daughter for long.

" People will be arriving soon. Are you sure you don't want me to cancel this whole thing and tell them all to go away ?" He asked.

" No," She shook her head into his chest. " It's what Daddy wanted. He didn't want the funeral. He didn't want everyone to be sad. He wanted a party to celebrate his life and that's what I'm going to give him." Her voice was stronger than it had been all day, more determined and she knew she had the two people sitting with her to thank for that. They were her strength. She could draw the courage she needed to get through the next few hours from them, her husband and her daughter. " Is Eve ready ? I bought her that new dress to wear."

" She's wearing it. She's been bathed and feed and she looks beautiful." He nodded in assurance. "Now it's time to get her mother ready, too."

" Thank you." She told him, pulling him down for a kiss.

" For what ?" He asked when he eventually let her slip from his lips.

" Being here, taking care of things, just..." She smiled but it was still a sad smile. " Everything."

" Of course." He nodded. " Where else would I be ?"

Dorota choose that moment to come bustling in with a tray of tea. " Is there anything else I can do for you, Mrs. Blair ?" She asked, sitting the tray down on the claw footed mahogany coffee table that matched the sofa and chairs.

Chuck sat back, taking his arms from her after placing a soft kiss to her temple. " Help her get ready for our guests, Dorota. I have a few things I need to take care of before things get going."

" Yes, Mr. Chuck. I take care of everything." Dorota answered in her heavily accented English. "Should I bring Miss Eve with us ?"

" No," He shook his head as he stood. " I've got her. You concentrate on her mother."

Blair watched him step around the sofa and bend over the bassinet behind it, a moment later he stood up with a bundle of pink blankets. She smiled as she watched him adjust the baby in his arms and settled her in comfortably. She wasn't sure how he had managed. When the baby first came along, he looked so uncomfortable and out of place trying to figure out how best to hold her, trying to be careful of her head, trying to be careful not to drop her. She had never really experienced Chuck looking uncomfortable before. It wasn't a normal thing for him. And like she knew it would, it had only taken him about a week to figure it all out and make holding his daughter look like the most natural thing in the world.

" We'll be in my study if you need us." He told her as he left them alone.

" Mr. Chuck a wonderful man. You're so lucky." Dorota smiled after them.

" I know." Blair smiled in agreement.

She wondered how the shareholders at Bass Industries were taking the fact that Chuck did most of his business with his daughter in his arms. She wondered if they approved of the arrangement or not. She knew it didn't matter to Chuck whether they liked it or not. Nor did it matter to him whether they liked the fact that he had been running his multimillion dollar company primarily from his home office for the last month or so. Her father had needed her so much over the last weeks of his life, Blair had spent nearly all her time taking care of him, with the help of his partner, Roman, of course. Chuck had moved the daily operation of Bass Industries to his home because he knew she needed him close to her and he had voluntary taken over the care of their daughter, giving her the time she needed with her father. Dorota couldn't have said anything more truthful. Chuck was a wonderful man. And she was the luckiest woman in the world.

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The revelers milled around the expanse of the Bass penthouse with a mixture of sad tears, melancholy smiles and heartfelt remembrances for the man they had all assembled to celebrate.

Chuck Bass stood by his fireplace nestled securely between two people who had come to mean a lot to him. Lily Humphrey now, his stepmother and Serena Van Der Woodsen, his stepsister, were chattering at him about something that was going on in his stepbrother, Eric's life. Apparently there was a new man on the horizon for his brother and Chuck was genuinely happy to hear it. Eric had not had the most pleasant life growing up. Chuck was glad that something was going right for him.

" Where is my granddaughter ? I haven't held her since this morning. My arms are aching." Lily asked, glancing around the room.

" Cyrus and Eleanor had her the last time I saw." Chuck answered her with a smile. " I think they were going towards the kitchen."

Lily leaned in and brushed a kiss against his cheek. " I'm going to steal her. They've had their turn." She announced as she left them, walking away with determined steps.

" How are you ?" Serena asked after she was gone.

" I'm fine. I'm a little worried about Blair, though." He answered. " She isn't taking all this very well."

" Of course she isn't. It's her father. Remember how it was for you." Serena said, bringing up a still painfully sore subject.

The old Chuck would have snapped at her for the reminder. Losing his father had been the most horrible thing he had ever gone through. He still wasn't fully recovered from the loss. He hated that Blair was now having to experience the same thing.

" I'll talk to her, make sure she's alright." Serena offered.

" I'd appreciate that. She needs all the support she can get right now." He nodded.

She laced her arm through his and again, the old Chuck would have started at the sudden contact, but human touch was something he was becoming accustom to and the movement didn't frighten him the way it once would have. " In the meantime," She told him with a smile. " Tell me all about Eve. What has she done lately ? Was there anything I missed ?"

" In the last two days since you've seen her, no." He chuckled, " She hasn't added any new skills to her already impressive resume." He thought about it for a moment before adding, " Blair thought she smiled yesterday, but I'm convinced it was just gas."

Serena was leading him away from the fireplace and towards the doorway. He suspected they were off in searched of the baby themselves. " It better have been gas. She isn't allowed to do things like that without me here to see it." His sister pouted. " Still I bet it was the cutest gas ever."

He laughed out loud at that. " If you are impressed by the gas, then you really missed it this morning. There was the most adorable bubble of drool."

His gaze caught sight of Lily just then walking towards them with his daughter in her arms. She had her snuggled into the crock of her arm and Eve was wiggling restlessly, probably getting a little tired of being passed around from hand to hand. He thought about rescuing her. But then he changed his mind. There would be plenty of time for the baby to get some rest after everyone was gone and he recognized the need to cling to the infant for what it was. Everyone here was mourning the loss of a man that had touched their lives. Everyone here needed a chance to see his legacy, to hold it in their arms and reassure themselves that he would live on through the tiny infant.

" Can I steal him for a moment ?" The voice of his best friend, Nate asked as he came to them and put his hand on Chuck's shoulder. " I need to talk to him about something."

" Of course." Serena nodded, stopping long enough to kiss Nate quickly before walking away towards her mother.

" Nathaniel, how have things been with you ? I haven't seen you in a little while." Chuck asked, turning to his friend.

" Is there somewhere we can go ? I have to tell you something." Nate announced seriously without preamble.

" Yeah, this way." Chuck nodded in concern and immediately lead him down the hall to his study.

He closed the door behind them and gestured towards the bar sitting against the far wall. " Drink?" He asked, " You look like you could use one."

Nate shook his head. " There's something you need to know." He said, taking one of the burgundy chairs in front of the large, cherry wood desk that sat in the center of the room. Chuck took the other chair and crossed his ankle over his knee. He was trying for a casual pose, hoping it would serve to ease some of the tension he could clearly see oozing from his friend.

" What is it ?"

" I was at grand central this afternoon meeting a business associate of my grandfather's that just arrived in town." Nate began. " I wasn't sure at first. But the more I think about it, the more certain I am."

" What ?" Chuck insisted, trying to get him to stop babbling and just tell him what was going on. The build up was quickly testing his patience.

" Your uncle Jack was there." Chuck sat up straighter at hearing that. Jack had been out of the country for years. And that was exactly how Chuck wanted it. The farther away from Chuck and his family the better. " There's more." Nate told him.

" What more ?" Chuck asked through gritted teeth.

" He was with Georgina Sparks."


	2. Alone at last

" Have you seen my husband ?" Blair asked as she waked up to Lily, who was holding an squirming, restless Eve and Serena who was trying her hardest to talk her mother into handing the baby over to her.

" Nate snagged him and ushered him off to his study." Serena answered, stomping her foot at her mother and holding her hands out ridiculously.

Eve took that moment to decide she'd finally had enough of everyone touching her and she let out wail that sounded out loudly over all the voices in the crowded room.

Blair reached out and took her daughter, bringing her into her arms and cradling her carefully. " She needs a break." She announced. " You can hold her later.

As if she somehow knew she'd just been rescued, Eve snuggled into the crock of her mother's arm and immediately began to close her tired eyes.

Serena looked as if she were about to stick her tongue out at her.

" Later." Blair repeated a touch more firmly and Serena finally relented and began talking about Eric with her mother.

Blair took the opportunity and get away and go off in search of her wayward husband.

She found him only a moment later sitting with his best friend in his study.

She hadn't bothered to knock on the door before coming inside and both of them turned their heads to look at her in startled surprise.

" You two look like you're up to something. What are you scheming ?" She asked as she went to the bassinet in the corner of the room and put the baby down gently so as not to wake her since she was already fast asleep.

She was such a good baby. Never fussy, never picky. She was quick to fall asleep and didn't often wake in the middle of the night anymore. She didn't mind strangers and she accepted that she was much loved and took to being held quite well usually. Apparently the day had just been too much for her. Blair could understand that. It had been too much for her as well.

She watched Chuck cut his eyes sharply to his friend and Nate immediately sat up a touch straighter in his chair.

" We were just catching up. We haven't talked in a while." Chuck lied and she knew it. He might be one of the best at fooling others. But she had long since figured out all his 'tells', no matter how subtle and nearly imperceptible they were.

She gave her daughter one last look and pulled the pink chenille blanket around her a little tighter. She always seemed to sleep better when she was securely tucked in.

Then she stood and pulled at the waist of her black, perfectly tailored Stella McCartney jacket. Then she planted her hands on her hips and began to tap one black, high heeled, Prada covered foot at them.

" What ?" Chuck shrugged unconvincingly.

" Something is going on, Bass. You know better than to try to lie to me. What is it ?"

He let his shoulders slump and a slow, nonchalant smile spread across his handsome face. " Nothing for you to be concerned about. You have enough to worry over."

Her eyebrows shot to her hairline. " That just means there is something to worry over. Just tell me before I have to find out from a Gossip Girl blast."

Neither man spoke for a moment. She narrowed her eyes at her husband, but his stony features told her it was useless to try to stare him down. So she shifted her attention to his best friend and fought the smile that was threatening when she saw him shift uncomfortably. Narrowing her eyes even further she set her lips in a tight frown and continued to glare at him without mercy. Until finally he leaned forward, dropped his eyes to the highly waxed, cherry wood floor at his feet and said, " Jack's in town. I saw him at Grand Central today." His voice was rushed as if he just couldn't take the torture she was putting him through any longer and Chuck let out an exasperated puff of air.

Nate glanced up at him with a sheepish expression. " What ? I'm sorry. She's scary when she wants to be. I don't know how you do it, Man."

" Years of practice." Chuck muttered under his breath.

" Your Uncle Jack is town ?" Blair exclaimed, stepping back towards her sleeping daughter in a protective move as if saying his name was enough to make him jump out of the shadows and attack them.

" I'll find out what he's doing here and get rid of him." Chuck assured her, getting to his feet and walking towards her.

" I don't want him anywhere near us. I don't want him on the same continent we're on." She told him as his arms came around her and he drew her into his chest.

" The feeling is mutual." He said in a quiet voice that was meant to sooth her. Unfortunately knowing Jack was near them was more than any dulcet tones from him could quell.

" We should leave. We can take a vacation. It's been forever since we visited Nua Parthas." She announced, referring to the castle in Ireland that Chuck had given her as a wedding present.

He held her tighter. " We are not running away from him. We have no reason to suspect he's even here because of us. Give me a chance to find out what he's doing here before you pack us off to Europe."

" Actually a vacation might not be such a bad idea." Nate interjected and Blair could see the steely eyed glare her husband was giving him reflected back in the blueness of his eyes. " I'm just saying that after everything you've been through recently, getting away might be a good plan."

" I have a company to run." Chuck told him and there was a warning tone to his voice as he spoke. "Besides, Lily and Eleanor would not be happy with us taking Eve away from them for any amount of time."

" Our mother's will understand." Blair protested, warming more and more to the idea of running as far from Jack Bass as she could possibly get.

" I'll see what I can do about taking a short leave." Chuck finally caved at hearing the determination in his wife's voice.

" I'll get everything ready." She smiled and nestled herself further into his solid chest in satisfaction. She did love to win.

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" Where are you heading ?" Chuck asked two days later as he spied Blair standing beside Dorota who was setting up a stroller for Eve.

" I thought we might take a walk in the park. I know you're busy getting things together here. So we are getting out of your hair for a while." She answered, coming to him and wrapping her arms around his neck.

" I appreciate the consideration, but it really isn't necessary. Having you and Eve around is never a bother." He smiled before kissing her tenderly.

She laughed. " I know that, but she could use some fresh air and so could I. Besides, maybe the activity will tire her out and she'll go to sleep early." She teased as she began to play with the top button of his shirt. " We desperately need some alone time."

" Now that does sound nice." He brushed his lips along her jaw before kissing her again. " How about a grown up night ? We'll go to dinner, maybe dancing."

She tightened her arms around him and very nearly squealed in his ear. " I would love that. We haven't been alone in weeks." Then she darted her eyes behind her too see how close Dorota was to them, before lowering her voice to a seductive purr that almost made him decided to take her upstairs to their bedroom on the spot. " I need you. It's been so long." She let her voice brush over his ear and he strengthened his hold on her waist in response.

" Are you sure you don't just want to stay here and let Dorota take her out ?" He asked in the same quiet whisper.

" I thought you had things you need to do." She said, trailing her lips along his jaw in answer to his teasing. He upped the stakes by grinding his hips into hers and letting her know exactly what she was doing to him.

" It'll keep for a while. I have time and there is certainly nothing as important as this at the moment."

Her breath caught in her throat when she looked up at his face. Then she turned abruptly to her maid and gave her a smile. " Dorota, would you mind taking her to the park alone ? Chuck just reminded me of something I need to take care of before we leave tomorrow."

The older woman sighed as she hefted the designer diaper bag on her shoulder and finished securing Eve in the stroller. " Of course not, Miss Blair. I take good care of her. You take care of whatever you need to take care of." She rolled her eyes, letting them both know she knew exactly what pressing business needed to be attended to.

The elevator doors were barely closed behind them before Chuck hefted her into his arms. She squealed in delight and he realized it had been far too long since he'd heard her make that sound. Days had passed without more than a few kisses shared between them. Between Harold and Eve, his business and their family, there just hadn't been much time for them to be alone.

He intended to make the most of the few hours they might be able to garner for themselves.

Taking the stairs with her in his arms, he was amazed at how easily he made the trip. He had never been what one would call the athletic type, but apparently clean living could do wonders for a constitution. He couldn't remember the last time he'd consumed more than a glass of Scotch before bed and he had long since given up anything more than alcohol.

Finally spying their bedroom door at the end of the hall on the second floor of their penthouse, he sat her down and intended to take her hand and pull her along for the rest of the journey.

She had other ideas and before he knew it, his back was against the wall and her body was crushing into him with a force that literally took his breath away.

She ripped at his tie, tugging it from his neck and letting it fall to the floor unnoticed. Her coat followed it with a rustle of material. His hands tugged at her navy cashmere sweater, pulling it from her skirt and bunching it up under her arms. She felt him trying to haul it over her shoulders and raised her arms to help aid his progress. Once it was gone, he covered her breasts with his palms, rubbing his thumbs over her nipples through the material of her lacy bra.

She sighed into him, her lips never leaving his for long as they continued to work at each other's clothing desperately.

" We should," she began but had to pause to kiss him again before she could finish her thought. " go to," another pause and another heart stopping kiss." the bedroom. What if someone decides to drop by ?"

" Then they'll get the show of their lives and learn to call first." He answered, grabbing her leg behind the knee and pulling it up to his waist. She took the hint and in a swift move she was settled around him, clinging to him with her arms around his neck and her legs securely around his waist.

He pulled away from the wall, taking her weight as if it were no more of a burden than Eve might be and began to walk them towards their closed bedroom door. He paused only long enough to grab the knob and fling it opened.

Once inside, Blair reached behind him and gave the door a swift shove, closing it with a slamming echo that rang out through the quietness of the apartment.

His fingers moved to the clasp of her bra and he deftly made short work of with while his other hand stayed splayed over the small of her back, holding her steady.

" God!" Blair groaned when he set her down on the side of the bed and pulled the remains of her bra from her arms. " It's been so long since we've done this." She threw her head back and let out a low growl as his head dipped down and attached to her nipple.

Every part of him shivered as her hands clutched at his shoulders. She was right. It had been far, far too long. He needed her so badly he ached. His want felt like a heavy weight resting in the pit of his stomach and everything ceased to exist besides her. Nothing else matter in that moment other than feeling her wrapped around him shouting his name to the heavens.

He shifted, bringing his hips into contact with her center and he almost jerked away from the heat coming from her. It felt as if she was scalding him even through the lace of her nearly useless panties and the stouter material of his pants.

" Blair," He groaned before shifting to her other breasts and lavishing it with the same attention he'd given the first one.  
Her hands were in his hair, pulling at it a trifle roughly and he nipped at her flesh in response.

Suddenly she was pushing at his shoulders and urging him away from her. He pulled back and almost asked her what was wrong when he felt her tiny fingers grab hold of the waistband of his slacks and begin to work frantically at the bindings. Once the zipper was down, drawing a grunt of pure lust from him when her knuckles brushed his length in the process, she pushed at him, silently demanding that he step back and rid himself at the rest of his clothing.

When he did as she insisted, she took advantage of the space separating them to rid herself of her panties, the last of her own clothes.

Coming back into her arms, he intended to slid her body back towards the center of the bed, but again she had other ideas and again before he realized what was happening, she turned them so that he was against the bed and she was pushing him down by the shoulders, forcing him to sit on the edge of the mattress. In a flash she climbed over him, wrapping her legs around his waist again and immediately sinking down over his hardness.

He hadn't been expecting it. He hadn't had a chance to brace himself for the feeling of having her surround him so completely. And because of that, he threw his head back and almost howled in response to the abruptness of the move.

She was smiling when he found her eyes. Her body grinding onto his in slow motion. It was hardly more than a gentle rocking of her hips and it was driving him mad. Her inner muscles convulsed around him, sending tiny shocks of pure pleasure throughout his body.

There was a noise coming from somewhere close to them, a whimpering sound that reminded him of a dog begging for attention and he was almost embarrassed when he realized the noise was coming from him.

Feeling as if any second he could lose control, he grabbed her to his chest and rose from the bed, before turning sharply and dropping her down to the softness of the bed. Her lips found his again and her tongue darted into the recesses of his mouth as he began to rock into her. The bed was the perfect height, raised from the floor just enough for the optimum angle. They hadn't planned it that way, but he was certain they would have if the thought had occurred to them when they picked out the antique, mahogany, four posted bed.

He grabbed hold of her hips, tugging her just a touch more forward and pulling her into him in the same instant. She nearly bite his tongue in surprise.

Then unable to take the teasing pace they were currently enjoying, he raised his upper body away from her even as he slammed his lower half into her with teeth jarring force.

Her eyes held his as he continued his almost punishing rhythm, until finally she threw her head back against the bed and let out a wail that sounded like it might have been his name before every inch of her began to shudder and her legs tightened around his waist, heels digging into his ass and urging him deeper.

He complied, feeling as if he was hitting bottom with every thrust of his hips. His movements became frantic and he relished in the feeling of sweat covering his body and her legs around him and the sounds of her cries of pleasures filling the room and echoing off the walls. It was too much for him. She was too much for him and he felt the orgasm ripping through his body so hard and quick it was almost frightening. He held onto the vision of her thrashing under him for as long as he could before he collapsed over her in a useless, spent heap of arms and legs that refused to work for a time.

Her arm came around him slowly, cradling him to her breast and bringing him back to reality with a fluttering easy that made everything inside him relax and give a contented collective sigh.

" We should do that more often." She murmured, running her fingers lazily through his hair while he remained draped over her, panting and blissful.

" Yes, we should." He agreed, raising up finally and rolling to her side. He pulled her into his arms and dragged them both to the center of the bed. Her body shifted into its familiar comfortable position, molded to his side, her curves and mounds fitting perfectly to his planes and angles.

He never felt more peaceful and serene than he did when he held her in his arms. It was almost euphoric the way their bodies meshed together. If he had been a different man, a man taken to such fantasy and illusion, he would have called it magical. But he was too practical to believe in such nonsense. The way he felt for her, while more powerful than anything he'd ever imagined wasn't magic, it wasn't whimsical, it was love. He loved her with everything inside him, needed her like he needed air to breath. She meant everything to him or she had at one time, now that everything was extended to included the most precious thing she ever could have given him.

Eve was a gift. He couldn't believe how worried he had been when Blair first announced that she was pregnant, how scared. And not just about the baby. He knew that now, looking back. He had been terrified of losing the woman in his arms. He had lost his mother during his own birth. And the fear of something similar happening to his wife had kept him awake for nights on end, though she never knew it. He was careful to hide such dark thoughts from her. She was the one that believed in magic and fantasy and needless superstitious worries. She would have deemed his fear an omen. She would have dived headlong into it with him and neither of them would have gotten any rest.

But the minute the doctor put his tiny, wiggling, crying daughter into his hands, it was over. Or maybe instead of over, it had changed. Now his worry was no longer just for his wife. Now it encompassed the helpless baby he was responsible for as well. And he had never considered himself a worrier before. But he was. He worried every minute she was out of his sight. Even now, nearly lost in the post coital bliss he was enjoying, even knowing that Dorota was with her, willing to lay down her life in sacrifice to keep her safe, there was a part of his mind that knew his daughter was out there in the city and she didn't have him by her side to protect her.

" She's fine, Chuck. Dorota has her." Blair said, as if she could read his mind. She leaned up and pressed the softest of kisses against his lips.

He chuckled and pulled her in tighter. " How do you do that ?"

She smiled and pressed herself more firmly into his side. " It's easy since we share the same brain." She joked. " I was just thinking about her myself so I knew you were either ahead of me, or not far behind."

He raised his head in order to see her face and his eyes grabbed hold of hers. " I love you, Blair. And I'm sorry I don't say it often enough anymore."

She rolled her eyes at him. " You say it all the time."

" Not enough." He whispered before leaning up further and capturing her lips with his.

" I love you, too, Chuck. Always have, always will." She told him in that simple yet completely earnest way she had that made him feel her words all the way down to his toes.

He moved, rearranging his body so that he was laying on his side, facing her and his nose brushed against hers they were so close. " We have time before they get back." He murmured with his lips against her collarbone. " Are you ready for round two ?"

She gave a breathy laugh as her hands tangled in his hair and held him close to her body. " I'm always ready. The question is, are you ?"

He moved his lower body into hers, letting his already hardening member push into her thigh. "Absolutely." He answered resolutely, before diving his head back down to her breast.


	3. The end of the World as we know it

Chuck Bass rolled over and brought his wife's body into his side, nestling her securely against him with an arm wrapped around her waist. He reveled in the quiet sound of her gentle sigh as she shifted, all at once, resting her head in the crock of his arm and draping one, shapely, tanned leg over his. He loved the utter smoothness of her skin where it brushed over his. He loved the feel of her breasts pressing into his side. He moved the hand at her waist up and played his fingers through her hair.

" Thank you." She said, raising up and adjusting her body so that her arms were crossed over his chest and her head was resting on top of them.

" You are absolutely welcome." He smirked and raised his eyebrow suggestively.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. " I wasn't thanking for the sex, Chuck. Although that was pretty amazing, too. I'm thanking you for indulging me and getting us out of here. I know I'm probably being irrational and ridiculous. But Jack really worries me."

He smiled down at her affectionately. " I don't mind indulging you. It's what I do. I've made it my mission in life to give you everything you want. Besides, we could all use a vacation."

She raised up from him and brushed his lips with hers. " You have things to take care of before we leave. You should get back to work."

He entertained the thought of pulling her back into his arms and making love to her again. But in the end he knew she was right and he let her go, though it was reluctantly.

" By this time tomorrow we'll be as far away from Jack Bass as we should be and I'll be able to sleep a little easier." She smiled.

He nodded. " By this time tomorrow." Getting up, he began to throw on a fresh set of clothes. " I guess I do have a few things that need my attention."

" I'm going to find our daughter." She announced as she bounced from the bed and began to dress as well. " I can't stand being away from her, even for a little while."

" I know." He agreed. He came to her and wrapped his arms around her once they were both dressed again. " I hope this little distraction didn't ruin our plans for the night. I really would like to take you out before we leave."

She laughed. " Oh no, Bass. We have a date. This is just a little bonus sidetrack. We are most definitely still on for tonight."

" Good." He smiled back before kissing her sweetly. " It's been ages since I got a chance to show you off. I want to remind the entire UES that I am the luckiest man in the world."

Her smile faded and she reached up to touch his check. " No, I'm the lucky one."

Then she kissed him again before turning on her heel and leaving him alone.

The faces of the men staring back at him through his computer monitor weren't happy faces, but he couldn't help that. It wasn't his job to make them happy. Two or three of them were a touch sympathetic and Richard, his vice president of operations, seemed to understand. He gave Chuck a wearisome smile and Chuck returned it gratefully.

" I know that you aren't thrilled with the prospect of my leaving, but I intend to make sure that nothing has really changed. My home office in Ireland is set up just as this one is. I can be reached at any time and I have no intention of simply disappearing. I'll still be running things, just from a little further away." He was telling them once again. It was the same speech he'd been giving for the past few days now, since he announced the fact that he would be leaving. " I hope that you all understand why I need to do this. My family has been through an especially rough time and we need to get away to regroup and recover our losses."

" We do understand that much, Charles." A staunch old man in a dark blue suit said, sitting up a little straighter in his chair. " What we don't like is that you aren't giving us a date for your return. We don't like how indefinite it is."

He was about to respond when his phone chirped in his pocket noisily. " One moment, Gentleman." He glanced around at the one woman sitting at the table and smiled at her. " And Lady."

Pulling his phone out, he stood from in front of his computer to give himself a bit of privacy. Then he pushed the button.

" I'm right in the middle of something, Sweetheart. Can I call you back in few minutes ?" He asked, knowing from the tone it was Blair.

" Get down to Central Park." She hissed a touch dramatically.

" I can't just pick up and leave right now. I'm in the middle of a meeting." He told her quietly.

" Chuck, Damn it, get down here now. We're at the duck pond. Hurry !" She practically shouted in his ear.

" Alright." He said, understanding that something had happened. " Is it Eve ? Is Eve okay ?"

" Please, Chuck." Was all she said. " Just hurry."

The desperation in her voice hit him like a ton of bricks and he snatched the phone off and hurried back to his computer.

" I have to go. There's an emergency." Then he ended the conference call without any other explanation and very nearly ran to the elevator.

He tried several times to call her back. Every time he heard her voice mail pick up, his fear and panic grew a little more. It seemed like an endless trek. Everything was moving in slow motion for him as he did his best to navigate through the crowd of people that impeded his progress.

He was running now, knowing that he needed to get to her. He had to find her.

His steps falter and he felt the earth fall away below his feet when he finally spotted her.

She was sitting on a bench. Dorota was beside her trying to fight off a pair of paramedics that were doing their best to examine a cut on her head. Blair was pale, nearly white against the dark blue coat she wore. Tears were streaming down her face, rolling quickly in an endless flow. Dorota was talking to her animatedly but it didn't seem like Blair was hearing her. She wasn't responding at any rate. Several uniformed policemen were milling around, searching the grass around the pond, trying to talk to Blair without any luck, talking into their radios.

He didn't even feel himself moving but he was aware that everything seemed to be getting closer to him so apparently his feet were doing it on their own.

He couldn't think. His mind whirled with the possibilities of what news he was about to hear. All he could really process was the fact that he didn't see his daughter. Searching around frantically, he prayed that one of the policeman was holding Eve and he hadn't noticed. The stroller was sitting upright beside Dorota and he prayed with everything inside him that he would find her there, peacefully sleeping and oblivious to what was happening around her.

That was his goal now. The stroller. He had to get to the stroller. He had to get to his baby girl, to hold her and prove to himself that she was safe and right where she was supposed to be.

He was inches away now and he tried to peak inside to see for himself. But the hood was drawn, making it impossible to see what was inside. Closing the last few steps, he ignored Dorota when she pushed the paramedics away and got to her feet, trying to block his progress.

He pushed her, not hard, but forcefully enough to remove her from his path. There were voices talking to him, people everywhere, trying to get his attention, but he ignored them, too. All of them could wait until he got a chance to look inside the stroller.

Reaching a shaking hand out, he grabbed at the hood and yanked it down a touch harder than he meant to. It came off in his hand and landed on the ground at his feet without a noise.

His eyes searched the small confides of the stroller, knowing it was stupid, but still unable to stop himself, he reached in and moved the empty blanket aside, then he grabbed the mattress from the bottom and lifted it as well, sending it falling to the ground to join the hood.

His stomach dropped to his feet and his vision began to blur around the edges.

Finally one voice seemed to cut through the rest and he let himself hear what she was saying. " They take her, Mr. Chuck. They take her and run away. I tried to stop them."

" Who ?" He growled with thunder in his voice and murder in his eyes.

" I don't know." She answered, shrinking back from his terrifying glare.

" Mr. Bass," A policeman in a suit was saying as he rested a hand on Chuck's shoulder. " We need you to just calm down. We have units searching the entire park right now. We'll find your daughter."

" Calm down ?" Chuck ground out as shrugged off the hand on his shoulder and rounded on the man quickly. " Did you just tell me to calm down ?"

" Getting upset isn't going to solve anything." The man answered. Then tried to give him a reassuring smile. " I'm Detective Hudson and I promise you that we are doing everything we can to find her. Right now, I think your wife needs you. We can't seem to get her to talk to us."

Chuck glanced at Blair and saw that the man was right. She wasn't responding to anyone or anything. And normally that would have shaken him to his core. But he felt as if he no longer had a core to shake. His eyes went back to the empty stroller than returned to his wife, then back to the stroller.

" I'm going to look for her myself." He announced, turning on his heel.

" That isn't a good idea, Mr. Bass. I can't let you put yourself in harm's way like that. Your wife and daughter are going to need you when this is over." Detective Hudson was yelling as he tried to catch up to him.

Several uniformed policeman stepped up around him, blocking his progress and insisting that he stop. He tried to ignore them, the frantic desperation was the only thing that made sense.

" I have to find my daughter." He shouted at them as they moved in closer. " Get out of my way !"

" Mr. Bass, I'm going to ask you again to just calm down and let us do our job." The detective told him as he came up behind him.

Chuck looked around him like a wild animal caught in a trap. He searched the bodies surrounding him, looking for a way out, seeking any opening he could find. When he finally spotted one, he charged, knocking a smaller policeman to the ground in the process and darting out of the circle.

The one to his right, grabbed his arm and snatched him backwards before he got very far.

" Charles !" A familiar voice yelled above the denizen surrounding him and he sought her out for a moment.

" Lily." He answered. " Tell them to get out of my way. Tell them I have to go find her."

She didn't understand what he was talking about. He could tell by the confused look on her face and he didn't have time to explain.

He pulled his one free arm up and drove it into the stomach of the man holding him, breaking free from his hold and darting away again.

He didn't get more than another few steps before they were all on him, circling him like a group of hunters that had brought down their prey. He was on the ground now, both arms cuffed behind him.

When they hauled him back to his feet and turned him towards the detective that had been chasing him, he saw a look of remorse and apology on his worn, haggard-looking face.

" I'm sorry, Mr. Bass, but if you won't listen to us, I'm going to have to take you in. I can't let you go charging off after the kidnappers."

" Kidnappers !" Lily shouted from behind the men surrounding him.

He stood there helpless unable to move as the crowd parted for her the moment before the woman he had come to think of as his mother hit the ground.

The cramped dingy cell that he sat in felt like a cage and he paced inside it like a wild animal ready to tear down the bars with his bare hands. He had to get free. He had to get out. Nothing mattered to him beyond him finding his daughter and bringing her home.

" If I let you out of there, do you think you can calm down enough to talk to us now ?" The same detective from the park asked as he stepped into his vision.

Chuck took a deep breath, realizing that the only way out for him was to pretend like he was under control.

" I'm fine now. Just let me out of here."

The sound of the metal bars rubbing against each other was so loud in made his ears ring. And he winced at the noise.

" Have you found her ?" He demanded once he stepped out of the confining box.

The man shook his head woefully. " We are doing everything we can."

Chuck felt the anger growing inside him and had to use every ounce of his self restraint to keep from punching the man. " Obviously not." He seethed. " if you still haven't found her."

" Mr. Bass, I know this isn't easy for you. I need you to trust me right now. Let us do our job."

" Trust you ?" Chuck shouted no longer able to control his temper. " I don't even know you and you want me to trust you with my daughter's life ?"

" I want you to trust me because this is what we do. We specialize in missing children. It's all we do here at this unit." He answered, trying to be reassuring.

Chuck stopped dead in his tracks and turned back to the man. " The fact that you have an entire unit devoted to missing children means the police aren't really doing their jobs in the first place. If they were, there wouldn't be so many missing children."

The older man sighed, causing his obvious beer belly to rise and fall with the motion. " I understand your frustration -" He began.

But Chuck stopped him before he got any further. " Really how long was your child missing ? Because mine's been gone for nearly three hours now and I truly doubt you understand much of anything."

" Your wife needs you." The detective said finally.

" Where is she ?" Chuck demanded, suddenly remembering that he even had a wife and feeling immensely guilt about that.

" We took her to Mercy. She's there with your maid and your mother. I'm going to take you to her." He said, walking away.

Chuck caught up to him quickly and took a deep breath. " Why is she at the hospital ?"

" We couldn't get her to respond to anything. She seems to have had some sort of breakdown. The doctor's thought that you might be able to get through to her." He explained as they exited the building and Chuck followed him to a mid sized, navy blue sedan.

Getting in and fastening his seat belt, he turned to the policeman. " What kind of breakdown ? What are you saying ?"

" I don't know. I just know that the doctor's said to bring you. So I'm bringing you. Your maid is fine. They're keeping her for observation because of a possible concussion and she got a few stitches in her head. And your mother seems to have come around."

" Lily." Chuck whispered, remembering seeing her hit the cold concrete pavement in the park.

" I'm sorry, Mr. Bass. I wish I could do more." The detective told him. " My child was gone for eight and a half hours by the way. He was ten at the time. Worse day of my life."

Chucked turned and stared at him for a long moment without saying anything. Guilt rushed at him for being so harsh with the man earlier. He seemed to be sincerely concerned about everything that was happening and Chuck appreciated that.

" I'm sorry." Chuck said finally.

" No, it's okay. But you see, I do really understand how you must be feeling. I know something about what you're going through and when I tell you I'm doing everything I can to find your baby, I want you to believe that I'm telling you the truth. Everything that can be done, is being done and then some."

" What happened ?" Chuck asked when they pulled up in front of the hospital.

" Maid said two men jumped out of the bushes, knocked her on the head and grabbed the baby."

" Eve." Chuck whispered, barely able to form the word. " Her name is Eve."

" They grabbed Eve and ran off. Mrs. Bass found your maid unconscious and called for an ambulance and us. Then I guess she called you and a few other people. Right after they took you in, several members of your family showed up at the scene. But your wife had sort of just slipped away. No one could get her to hear them. She just sat there holding a blanket in her hands and crying. The medics were concerned and brought her here."

As soon as they entered the through the emergency room entrance he was sat upon.

Serena was next to him, babbling uselessly. Cyrus and Eleanor were standing on his other side, pulling him along. He spotted Dan Humphrey and his sister, Jenny, off in the distance, waiting in the chairs. Nate was right behind him, adding his own voice whenever Serena slowed down for a moment.

He didn't hear any of them. The sound of their voices was barely more than a buzzing in his ears that he just made out over the ringing that occupied his brain.

They were ushering him towards a set of double doors that opened the moment they got close enough to trigger them.

" Is this the husband ?" A man in green scrubs asked as he stepped in front of them.

" I'm Chuck Bass." Chuck managed around the taste of bile in his throat and the swelling of his tongue.

" She's right in here, Mr. Bass." The man said, indicating a room on their left.

He hadn't even noticed that all the others were no longer with him. They had apparently stayed on the other side of the doors.

" I don't know if you can reach her, but I hope so. If not, I'm afraid we'll have to admit her to the psych ward for a few days." The doctor was saying. " I understand that you've had a bit of a tragedy. This is a common response to that kind of thing sometimes."

Chuck felt his temper rising again. " A bit of a tragedy ?" He asked, turning to the doctor sharply. " Do you even know what you're talking about ?"

" I'm sorry." The doctor blanched and took a step back. " I didn't mean to belittle your loss."

" I haven't lost anything yet!" Chuck announced through gritted teeth.

" Of course not. I'm sure the police will find your baby any minute now." He back peddled quickly.

" Just show me to my wife, you idiot. Then get away from me. There will be no admitting her to anything here."

She was sitting up in a metal hospital bed, wearing one of those God awful gowns that Chuck knew she would have hated had she the ability to realize it was touching her. Her hair was a mess, hanging listlessly around her shoulders in untamed strained. Her make up was long since gone, or smudged to the point that it wasn't even remotely in place. Swollen, blood shot eyes stared, unseeing at her hands which he could see were shaking where they were clasped together in her lap.

" Blair." He whispered, not wanting to startled her with his voice. He closed the few steps between them and sat down on the side of the bed.

She didn't raise her eyes to him, didn't answer him, didn't show any sign at all that she even knew he was there.

" Blair," He repeated, louder this time and put one of his hands over hers.

She started a little at the contact and he felt a surge of relief at the response, no matter how tiny it was.

" Blair." He said again, giving her hands a squeeze and watching her closely for any sign that she heard him.

It was startling and he almost fell from the bed at the movement. One moment she was sitting there not seeing anything. The next she was in his arms, sobbing uncontrollably and clutching at his shoulders desperately.

" She's gone." She wailed into his chest.

He held her closer, tightening his arms around her tiny, frail body. " We'll find her." He tried to reassure her and wished he believed it himself.


	4. Trying to breakthrough

The phone on the desk was ringing and it annoyed him more than anything else. He just wanted to be left alone. Why couldn't anyone understand that ? He had work to do, important work. There were leads to track down, tips to investigate, people to interview. The last thing he needed or wanted was to be bothered by anything happening beyond the room where he stood, staring at the map on the wall. The one with all the little, colored push pins decorating it. Most of the pins clustered around the New York area. All three burrows and the area surrounding them. But there were pins everywhere. From Maine to California. North Dakota to Miami, Florida. And he had followed them all with no success.

With a heavy, defeated sigh, Chuck walked to the desk and snatched up the ringing phone.

" What ?" He hissed into it as he brought it to his ear.

" Are you coming home tonight ?" His wife asked in a small, fragile voice that sounded nothing like her.

" I'm working." He answered.

" I haven't seen you in five days, Chuck. I need you. Please come home, even if it's just for dinner."She asked and the pleading, broken tone infuriated him.

" I said I'm working. I'll be home tomorrow." He told her, snapping the phone shut and throwing it back to the desk.

Why couldn't she understand ? Why couldn't she see that he had important things to attend to. It went on almost every night. Please come home, Chuck. Please stop this, Chuck. Please, I need you, Chuck.

Why couldn't he make her see that Eve was the one that needed him. Eve was the one that mattered. Nothing else existed for him anymore.

He barely made it back to the map before there was a knocking at the door this time. Twisting the coffee cup he held in his hand, he flung it at the wall. It landed with a loud crashing sound and he watched mesmerized as the hot liquid slid down the wall in rivers of brown.

Stomping to the door disgustedly, he snatched it open without removing the chain lock and peer out through the tiny crack.

" Go away." He growled before he even saw who it was.

Lily slowly came into view, looking every bit as put together and composed as she always did, blond hair in a tight french twist, every strand perfectly in place, expertly applied make up, a string of diamonds around her neck that sparkled against her pale skin and a black suit, tailor fit to hug her body.

" Let me in, Charles. We need to talk."

" I don't have time to talk." He muttered, though most of his anger had disappeared at seeing her standing there.

" Make time." She insisted. " My driver is just downstairs. I can have him up here breaking that door down in less than ten minutes. Do you really want to go that route ?"

He rolled his eyes in exasperation and closed the door long enough to remove the chain before opening it again and inviting her in.

" This is where you've been spending all your time ?" She asked, looking around the small, dingy apartment. It was a mess and he knew it. Clothes laid draped over nearly every piece of furniture. Papers were scattered everywhere. A few empty food containers lay here and there, but there weren't nearly as many of them as there should be. Most it was overturned, empty bottles of Scotch, glasses that needed washing and Styrofoam coffee cups that needed disposing of.

" I go upstairs to sleep." He answered, not even bothering to try to hide the fact that he knew exactly what the place looked like.

" And how often does that happen, Charles ?" She asked, turning on her heel and leveling him with that motherly look that he had finally gotten used to.

He shrugged and refused to answer her.

" The beard is new." She frowned at him. " Are you going for some kind of homeless look now ?"

He unconsciously brought his hand up and rubbed at the growth of hair covering his face. His hair was longer now, as well, grown well over the collar of his shirt and making him appear very scruffy and unkempt.

" I haven't had time to do anything about it in a while." He muttered turning away from her and walking back to his precious map.

" It's been four months, Charles."

" What has that got to do with anything ?" He spun on her, practically yelling.

" The possibilities of actually finding her are almost nonexistent. It's time to try to move on." She answered, stepping around the desk, but immediately regretting the decision once she saw the look on his face.

" I am NOT giving up on her !" He shouted, anger rolling off of him in waves. " The rest of you may have decided to move on, but I will never stop searching for her."

She took a slow, measured step towards him and reached out to touch his shoulder gingerly. " When was the last time you ate ?" She asked, gently.

He dropped his eyes to the floor and let them stay there. " Mike brought something by a couple of days ago."

" Mike ?" She asked, " You mean Detective Hudson ?"

" Yeah, he's been helping me."

Lily's eyebrows rose to her hairline and her frown turned even more dramatic. " You mean he's been encouraging all this ?"

" No, I mean he's helping me." Chuck repeated.

" Get your coat, Charles." She told him firmly. " We're going home."

" I don't want to go home. I have things to do here." He answered, refusing to budge an inch.

" You can come back here tomorrow if its what you really feel you need to do. But right now, you need a good meal, a shower, a change of clothes and a good night's sleep. You also need to see your wife. You remember her, right ?"

He rolled his eyes again, but somehow he was letting her led him towards the door and he wasn't stopping her. " Yes, I remember my wife. How could I not with her calling me everyday and whining at me to come home."

Lily stopped and turned to him just as they reached the door. " She needs you, Chuck. She lost her child, too. Blair is a mess right now and there is no one that can get through to her like you can."

He spun away from her, suddenly finding the resolve to break her hold on him and stomp away. "Don't you see ? I'm done taking care of Blair. It's all I've ever done. Besides, that isn't Blair anymore. Not my Blair. I don't even know who she is now." He spat, too angry to control himself any longer.

" This is Blair you're talking about. The woman you once said meant everything in the world to you. The woman you told me was your soul mate. And I didn't even think you believed in things like that."

" I don't." He muttered.

" Blair is still there. She's right there. Maybe she's lost, but you can help her." she explained.

" I don't have the energy to help her anymore." He shook his head regretfully.

" Maybe if you accepted the fact that you may never find Eve, you'd have enough energy to help Blair find herself. Don't you see, we lost all three of you that day in the park and we all just want you back. We want Chuck and Blair back."

" How did you find this place ?" He asked suddenly, out of nowhere more to change the subject than anything else.

" Serena told me that you and Blair kept this apartment during that time she was engaged to Nate. I thought I might try here. I just started knocking on doors until you answered." She explained.

" She promised me she'd never tell a soul where to find Eden." He spat.

" She's worried about you. We all are. Look at yourself."

He glanced down at his rumbled shirt and wrinkled pants and knew she was right. She should be worried.

" I'm coming back here in the morning. First thing." He announced in way of giving in.

" I can deal with that. Just promise me you'll eat, sleep and spend some time with your wife, first." She reached out to trace the line of hair that covered his cheekbone. " A shave and a haircut wouldn't kill you either."

" I'm not making any promises." He answered, letting her slid her arm through his and lead him from the apartment.

They sat in silence as the limo glided through the rain sleeked streets of the huge metropolis. New York always seemed to be moving. It was rightfully named the City that Never sleeps. There were always people. People everywhere. He let his eyes wander up to the top of a particularly tall skyscraper that he recognized as an apartment building.

_She could be up there_, he thought to himself. _She could be nestled away in one of those apartments right under his nose and he'd never know it. _

" I'm so sorry, Charles. I know how hard all this has been." Lily said, resting a hand on his leg. " But you're ignoring everything else in your life. The world goes on."

He shook his head. " Not mine. Mine stopped the day they took her. And it won't start again until I get her back."

" That's not true, Sweetheart. You still have a life, one that has been existing without you for four long months now. There are people who care about you and need you. We've been going through the worse thing any of us could imagine and it all the more horrible because we've lost you and Blair, too."

He sighed and closed his eyes. " She's sitting up now. All on her own. Hell, she's probably crawling, too or just about to start. Rolling over, smiling, laughing, trying to talk." He felt his eyes stinging with unshed tears and he rubbed at them quickly. " I've missed so much."

" How long has it been since you've been home ?" She asked letting her eyes search his face.

He thought about that for a moment. " A couple of weeks, I guess."

She gasped. " A couple of weeks, really, Charles." The disappointment was evident on her face and he closed his eyes again to hide from it. " Have you forgotten about Blair completely ?"

The tears were back now and this time he didn't try to stop them. " I can't even look at her anymore." He admitted and I don't know why. It's like there's another person there, someone has taken her over and she doesn't even remotely resemble my wife."

" Oh, Charles, after everything you've been through don't let this pull you apart." His stepmother pleaded with him.

He shook his head. " I don't even know where to start. She's given up. She told me the other day that she believed that Eve was dead. That's when I left. I couldn't stand there and listen to that. My daughter is not dead. I can feel it. She's out there somewhere and she needs me."

" Blair is dealing with this the best way she knows how. She's trying to reconcile herself with the fact that you may never find out what happened to Eve. You should be trying to do the same thing. This obsession is not healthy. I know Blair is seeing someone. Maybe it's time you did the same thing."

He sat up straighter at that. " A shrink ? You think I need a shrink ? I'm not crazy."

" I never said you were crazy. I said you're going through something extraordinary and you need someone to talk to about it. Seeing a therapist doesn't make you crazy." Lily told him, in a calm even voice.

" I'll think about it." He muttered to get her to shut up about it. " I didn't know Blair was seeing a therapist."

She blinked at him in surprise. " You weren't aware that your wife is in therapy ?"

" I'm sure she mentioned it. I guess I just missed it."

" I guess the things happening to Eve aren't the only things you've missed." She muttered. " Did you know that Nate and Serena are getting married ?"

He shook his head. " No I guess I missed that, too."

" How about the fact that Eleanor and Cyrus are moving to Paris in a couple of weeks ? Blair will have no one when that happens."She added.

" Dorota is still there." Chuck said, knowing it wasn't much, but unable to think of anything else to say.

" She needs her husband. Not her maid."

" Dorota is far more than just a maid." He answered.

" She's not you and she never will be." Lily concluded and fell silent, letting him ponder her words for the remainder of the ride.


	5. A house in mourning

" She hardly come out of that room anymore." Blair heard Dorota's voice in the hall and she wondered for a brief moment who she was talking to but it really didn't matter to her enough to work up the energy to find out. From the sound of her voice they were coming towards her room anyway.

" I try to get her to come downstairs to eat, but she refuses and when I bring food up to her, she just moves it around on her plate and takes a few bites before she says she's done." Her maid and surrogate mother continued, giving whoever it was a rundown on her condition.

She felt like she should be getting to her feet and readying to defend herself. But really there was nothing to say against the things Dorota was telling whoever it was. It was all true. Every last bit of it. She closed her eyes, no longer trying to fight against their heaviness. She was tired. She was always tired. And it seemed like the more she gave into the tiredness and slept the more tired she became. An endless cycle of exhaustion.

Her body ached, too. Everything inside her hurt, hurt to the point that she thought there might be something physically wrong with her. She had meant to mention it to Dr. Hearst the last time she saw him, but it had slipped her mind.

A lot of things were slipping her mind lately. If it hadn't been for Dorota she would have missed her mother's birthday two days before. But then in her defense, she hadn't bothered to look at a calender in longer than she could remember, either.

She raised her head when she saw the door to her bedroom open, but didn't expend anymore energy than that on the intrusion.

At first she thought she might be seeing things. The man standing in the light cast from the hallway looked surprising like her husband, but he was so different she knew she had to be imagining it. Besides, Chuck didn't come here anymore. Chuck was gone, had been for days now and she knew that wasn't going to change despite her pleading. She had even decided to give up on that. She remembered calling him a few hours before and she remembered promising herself that it was the last time she intended to make that call. She couldn't beg him anymore. She couldn't make him come to her. She couldn't force him to love her again.

It was that simple. And she even understood exactly why everything had changed between them. It was her fault, after all. If she had just gone to the park with Dorota and Eve, if she hadn't decided to stay at home and play with him all afternoon, their daughter would be safely tucked away in her crib a few doors down and she would still have her life. She had been selfish, a bad mother, and she had paid the ultimate price for it. She couldn't forgive herself for the decision she made that day. How could she expect him to be able to forgive her either ?

The figure in the doorway stepped into the room and shut the door behind him, casting the place back into the darkness she cherished.

" Blair," He whispered and it startled her because it sounded like him as well. " Are you awake ?"

She didn't answer, too afraid that if she did he might disappear and leave her utterly alone once again. Instead she shifted, moving her aching body slowly over to the side of the bed furthest away from the approaching figure that appeared darker than the darkness surrounding it.

He didn't ask her to speak again and she was grateful for that. She couldn't think of anything to say to him anyway. And she was still afraid that the sound of her voice would make him dematerialize right before her eyes.

Instead, he kicked off his shoes and sat down on the side of the bed. Then he turned to her and reached a hand out to find her in the bundle of blankets covering her and the darkness of the room.

The minute his hand came into contact with her shoulder she draw in a sharp breath and blinked at him in confusion. It was Chuck. There was no doubt in her mind. She'd know his touch anywhere.

" Chuck ?" Her voice was hoarse and it cracked from lack of use. She just hadn't felt like communicating much with anyone about anything.

" Blair." He whispered again and before she knew what was happening he was beside her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest.

She was dreaming. It was the only explanation she could think of and it killed her that her mind was betraying her so blatantly, giving her exactly what she wanted when she knew deep down that it would all disappear at any moment.

He drew back from her and sat up quickly, so abruptly she thought it was over already. She felt like he'd just evaporated from her arms. Then there was a light blinding her and she closed her eyes against the intrusion.

The next thing she knew, the blankets were being snatch away from her and she didn't have the energy to fight to keep them.

She heard his sharp intake of breath and blinked opened her eyes to find him. It wasn't her Chuck looking back at her with a shocked expression on his face and a full beard covering his jaw. His hair was mussed and far longer than her Chuck would ever allow it to get, curling around his ears.

The look on his face turned stony as his eyes wandered down her body as if he had x-ray vision and could see right through the flimsy gown that covered her.

" What have you done to yourself ?" He asked, his voice almost angry and more than a little demanding.

She grabbed the blankets from his hands and covered herself back up with them. She didn't want him to see her, didn't want to feel his disproving gaze trailing over her far, far, too thin form.

He got up from the bed and turned towards the door.

" Chuck." She croaked out, wanting to stop him, not wanting him to leave her again.

" I'll be back. I need a shower. And I need to tell cook to make you something to eat." He answered.

" Can you just-" She stopped not knowing how to finish the sentence.

But suddenly his shoulders dropped as if he completely understood what she wanted to say and he was back beside her in a flash, wrapping her up in his arms and cradling her against his chest. His lips found hers a moment later and she sank into his kiss like it was the only thing that could cure the hunger burning deep inside her, the only thing that could fill the hollowness that expanded throughout her body everyday.

His touch was soft, delicate as if he thought he might break her if he held her too tightly and his movements were gentle as he laid her back down against the bed and brushed the hair from her face.

" Go back to sleep." He whispered, his breath teasing her cheek as he spoke.

She shook her head and grabbed his shoulder, trying to keep him from pulling away. " Please don't leave me."

" I'll be here when you wake up and I'll bring you something to eat as well." He assured her, trying to run his fingers through the tangles in her hair.

" Promise ?" She asked, her voice hopeful and stronger than it had been in days.

" I promise. I'll be back before you know it." He told her.

She let her hand fall from his shoulder and snuggled down into the blankets he was pulling up around her. Her eyes closed the moment he flicked off the lamp and she let herself drift away, still believing that he was a dream and when she awoke he'd no longer be there, but feeling helpless to do anything to stop it from happening.

" How long has she been like that ?" Chuck demanded the second the bedroom door closed behind him.

Dorota shrank back from the anger on his face and in his eyes. " Days now." The maid answered humbly.

" I thought you were seeing to her. I trusted you to take care of her." He berated the robust woman as he stalked off down the hall and made his way to the kitchen.

The older woman was crying now, he could hear it from where she stumbled along behind him. " I try, Mr. Chuck. I really try. But she won't listen to me."

" You've indulged her to the point that she's nearly starved herself to death. I don't call that trying." He spat.

" I can't force her to eat." Dorota defended herself.

" Well I can. Why wasn't I informed of how bad the situation was here ?"

They were down the stairs now and barreling towards the doorway that lead to the kitchen area.

" I didn't think you would hear me either. That's why I called Mrs. Humphrey." She explained quickly.

He stopped and turned to her abruptly. She nearly ran into his chest before she realized he was no longer moving. " You called Lily ?" He questioned her accusingly.

She bite down on her bottom lip and let out a choked, barely concealed sob. " I didn't know what else to do. Mrs. Eleanor, she here everyday trying to get Miss Blair to hear her, but it didn't work. Miss Serena try to, still nothing. I hoped maybe she would listen to you. And I know besides Miss Blair, your mama is the only one that can get through to you."

She was trembling now, visibly shaking as she stood there waiting for him to lay into her again.

He felt like an ass. " I'm sorry, Dorota. I shouldn't have yelled at you." He reached out and touched her shoulder with a sympathetic smile. " I know you've done everything you could. I should have been here to see to her myself."

Dorota shrugged and gave him a watery smile of her own in return. " You busy looking for Miss Eve. I not want to interrupt you if I could help it." Her Polish accent seemed heavier the more emotional she became and Chuck found himself barely able to understand what she was trying to say to him.

" It's okay. You did the right thing in calling Lily. I'm here now." He told her with a pat of the shoulder before turning back towards the kitchen.

He bounded into the room so quickly the poor older woman at the stove nearly jumped out of her skin. She turned tired, wary eyes towards Chuck as the bun of gray hair perched on top of her head bounced with the movement.

" We need food, Mrs. Shilling, and lots of it." Chuck announced. " Something high in calories and fat. I can see every bone of my wife's skeleton and I don't like it." He turned to leave then stopped and turned back the to elderly lady. " And it needs to taste good. I want her to want to eat it. I'd hate to have to force fed her."

The woman laughed in delight. " Something high in calories and fat that tastes good ? You make my job too easy, Mr. Bass."

His face broke into a smile at the woman's jovial nature and he was still smiling as he left her to her work. Dorota was still scurry behind him, following him from room to room as if waiting for him to take charge and make everything right in the household again.

He was bone tired, almost too weary to make the effort, but remembering seeing Blair's frail form brought a new purpose to his steps. He decided he had enough in him to at least look like he was in control of things.

" Dorota, would you please remove the ridiculous sheets from all the mirrors ?" He had noticed them when he first came into the apartment and at first it angered him. The sheets were ordered there, no doubt, by his wife. It signified a home in mourning and he when he thought about it, it seemed right. Everything about the place felt like it was in mourning. Nothing shined, the windows were all covered with heavy drapes. There was no noise except for the rattles of the pots and pans that he had just put into motion. Nothing about it felt like home anymore and he was acutely aware of why that was.

All the baby things were gone, tucked away from view by either one of their concerned parents or a well meaning friend. Nothing about Eve was visible anywhere. No soft pink blankets laid about, no rattles set around forgotten on the tops of tables. No diaper bag sitting by the door, packed up and ready in case someone felt like going for a walk. Even the stroller that normal set right beside the elevator that lead downstairs was hidden, locked away in one of the lesser used rooms of the huge penthouse, he was sure.

The very air in the spacious expanse of the apartment seemed heavy and oppressive. It was a depressed house, mirroring the mood of the lady of the manor, tucked away in her bed, aching for something he couldn't give her back.

" Open all the windows and let some light in here as well." He muttered though he had stopped walking now and simply took to standing at the bottom of the stairs with his hand resting on the large round knob that made up the beginning of the banister. " That includes the ones in the bedroom. She's so pale I can practically see through her skin. And get Serena and Nate on the phone. I think it's time for some social interaction and I hear we have reason to celebrate."

Dorota was nodding quickly. She had drawn a notebook out of one of her apron pockets and was quickly scribbling down all of his instructions.

His hand came up to scratch at the rough hair that covered his face. It really was driving him crazy and he been meaning to do something about it for days now. " While you're on the phone, get my barber over here. I need a trim."

Then he gave her one last smile before trudging up the stairs to a shower and his wife.


	6. The man in the mirror

Somehow, despite the hollow emptiness that almost consumed him, he felt like a new man, or that's what he was trying to make himself believe anyway. His hair, now back to his usual style was still wet and he raised his hand to brush his knuckles across his clean shaven jaw. Looking back at him from the bathroom mirror was an image he hoped would seem, at least vaguely, familiar. But it didn't. Nothing about the haggard, haunted, desolate face stirred any recollection in him. He was a stranger.

The man in the mirror was a stranger and more importantly, he was a stranger without a purpose. Maybe that was why he looked so unrecognizable. The Chuck he remembered, the confident, arrogant, superior young man that greeted him every morning with a smirk and worldly nod, didn't seem to exist any more. That man had died the day the people in the park took his purpose from him.

The man looking at him now was old and tired and lost. He had hoped that by coming home, taking a break and regaining some of his equilibrium, he might have found the man he was searching for again. He had been looking for him for so long.

It was strange standing there, looking at his reflection and not seeing himself there. He didn't recognized that man at all and more than that, he didn't like him very much either. This guy carried this brooding, desperate, hopelessness in his face like a mask and his shoulders slumped tiredly as if the weight of the world rested on them. He looked worn out, used up. A heartsick, forlorn stranger with nothing to live for.

But then, he thought bitterly, that had been Jack's plan after all.

He had little doubt in his mind that his uncle was behind the entire thing in the park. He had searched for him everywhere. The best private detectives in the world were combing the world looking for him, and yet there had been nothing.  
No leads, no trace of any kind. If it were possible for someone to completely disappear off the face of the Earth, Jack had. And so had Georgina Sparks. He was fairly certain she had been in on it as well.

He couldn't help the anger that gripped him every time he thought about the two of them. They had taken everything from him. Left him with nothing to live for, but they had done more than that. They left him with nothing left to lose either. And when he finally did find them, and he knew he would eventually, he intended to make them pay for everything they had done to him.

Chuck had always lived by the philosophy of an eye for an eye. He planned to make sure he took two of them from each of them. One for his Eve and the other for his Blair.

His mind instantly retreated to the image of her ridiculously frail form, so pale, so very, very thin and not at all his Blair. His Blair was strong and independent, robust and so full of life it was hard to contain her. There had always been a certain joy to his Blair. A joy that she shared with him, whether he wanted her to or not. It was hard not to feel happy around her. She was exuberant, exquisite and so very, very capable.

Thinking back to the woman laying in the bed just a few doors down from where he stood made him recoil at the memory. Her cheekbones were sunken, her skin almost transparent it was so pale. He recalled the web-like series of blue veins that covered her legs and arms and it nearly made him nauseous.

That was what they had done to her. They had turned her into a flimsy shell of her former self. A stranger as sure as the man staring back at him.

He had come here looking for some familiarity, some normal to try to anchor himself to. He hadn't found anything like it.

Nothing was like it once was. Nothing remained constant for him. Everything about Eve was gone, gone as if she had never existed to begin with and that bothered him more than a little. He didn't know who had taken it all away, packed it up and out of sight and he was sure that whoever it was had done it for their own good. He understood that, and maybe it had helped Blair a bit. But for him it was devastating. The idea of her being gone for good, the thought that he might never find her was unacceptable. He would never let go, never give up. She was his daughter and he would go to his grave searching for her if that was what life had in store for him.

He had been standing in the vast bathroom so long, staring into the mirror, that his hair was dry when he finally took a deep breath, smoothed a few stray strands of hair into place and squared his shoulders.

He had been putting it off, he realized that now. He didn't want to make the journey down the hall that would take him to the stranger that his wife had become. He couldn't look at her now. Found it hard to meet her eyes. And he knew she wasn't to blame for that, but a part of him couldn't help putting the blame on her. Giving up had been too easy for her. She had latched onto the resigned notion that her daughter was dead and he secretly hated her for that. She should be right by his side, fighting right along with him, refusing to give up on Eve just as he was. His Blair would never have given in so easily to the ignorant people around her telling her that it was better to try to move on. His Blair would have seen it just like he did, would have told them all that there could never be any moving on until her daughter was safe in her arms again.

The time had come and his steps were heavy and spiritless as he trudged down the hall to his bedroom. He opened the door slowly, taking his time before having to deal with what he would inevitably find in the darkness behind the door.

" Blair," he whispered once the door was secured behind him. There was more light in the room now. Dorota had taken his orders seriously and opened the heavy, red velvet drapes that covered the windows, letting the light from the setting sun filter into the depressed room.

A ray of sunlight fell across the bed and he stepped closer to it, determined to see this through now that he was there, despite the fact that all he wanted to do was turn and run the other way.

" Blair." He called again, louder this time.

She shifted under the layers of blankets and he sat down beside her, searching her out with his hand.

" Chuck ?" She answered finally as her head raised and she sought him out.

" Yeah, Sweetheart. It's me. Are you ready to try to eat something ?" He asked, sliding towards the headboard and resting his back against it.

She moved to him, curling into his side and bringing her head to lay against his bare chest.

" I just want you to hold me for awhile." She told him, snuggling more securely into him.

" Alright." He nodded, " But then, you eat."

His arm came around her, resting comfortably at her waist and he winced at the feel of her hipbones poking through her skin. Cancer patients in the midst of their treatments had more meat on their bones than she did. It was horrible and he fought off the urge to lash out at her for it. It angered him beyond reason to feel what she had done to herself. And for this, there was no one else to blame but Blair.

What would happen when he found Eve ? How could Blair possibly take care of her in her condition? She couldn't even take care of herself.

" Tell me you won't leave me again." She said into his chest, so quietly he almost missed it, even in the silence of the room.

He wanted to tell her that. He wanted to say that if she would just be the Blair he married, the one he fought so hard for, he would never leave her side again. But he couldn't and he knew it. Staying with her the way she wanted would mean giving up his search and he couldn't promise her that.

" I'm going back in the morning." He answered. " I have to."

She let out a choked sob and he felt like rolling his eyes in response. There was a time when he couldn't stand to see her upset. A time when it killed him inside to hear her cry. But she did it so often lately, he had become immune. He understood that before hearing her upset disturbed him so much because it was so rare. Now it was every other minute that she was sobbing and cry and he just couldn't work up the kind of compassion she needed from him. He felt terrible for it. But it was the truth of the matter.

" Can't you just try to enjoy the time I can give you ?" He asked suddenly. " Can't you just stop and let us be together for a while without worrying about how long it will last or when it will happen again ? I'm not leaving, but I have work to do and I can't just push that aside and stay with you here forever."

She sat up and for just a split second he saw fire dance in her hollow eyes. His heart thumbed loudly at seeing something of his wife flash in the pod person that had taken her over.

" Chuck, this is becoming ridiculous. You can't keep this up. It's been four months. It's time to accept the fact that she's gone." She told him, her words sounding much more like his Blair, but the passion still wasn't there to back them up.

He moved her off of him and got to his feet. Anger quickly replacing the brief elation she had stirred in him. " How can you say that ? There will never be a time to accept that she's gone. I'll keep this up forever if I have to."

" You're obsessed with this." She answered bitterly.

" Obsessed with finding my missing daughter ?" He exclaimed loudly. " Of course I am. What I don't understand is why you aren't ?"

" Dr. Hearst says that we can't start to heal until we finally accept the inevitable and the inevitable is that she's gone and everyday that passes makes it that much more unlikely that we will ever find her." She told him.

" Is that what Dr. Hearst says ?" He yelled. " Is he also the reason all her stuff is gone ?"

Blair nodded and Chuck was suddenly seeing Dr. Hearst in a whole new way. " He said it would be easier to move on without all the constant reminders around. I had Dorota pack it all away and give it to charity."

Blind rage consumed him. He was unable to speak for a long moment, unable to see beyond the red that filled his vision. Storing it was one thing, but to get rid of it all was something else entirely.

" You did what ?" He finally managed his voice a roar that vibrated off the walls and caused her to shrink back from him with something like fear on her face.

" It's gone, Chuck. Just like she is. All of it. I couldn't have it sitting around anymore. I've accepted that she isn't ever coming back. You need to do the same thing." She told him.

He stalked towards her, intent on wrapping his arms around her throat and throttling the life out of her. He expected her to recoil from his approach, but instead she squared her shoulders and watched him coming at her with a look of a challenge on her face.

He stopped immediately. There she was again. Glaring back at him in her angry glory. Her eyes came alive even as he watched. Her chin jutted out defiantly.

" I will never accept that she's just gone and it makes me sick to see how easy it is for you to do it." He ground out between his clenched teeth.

" You think any of this has been easy for me ?" She demanded, yelling out the words so loudly it made his ears ring. " I struggle through everyday. I spent months forcing myself out of bed everyday because I believed that, that would be the day we'd find her. That it would be the day she'd come home."

" I will find her." He said, not wanting to hear anymore from her.

" I hope so, Chuck. I really hope so, but I need to move on and I want you to move on with me."

" How can you say that ? How can you even think about moving on without her ? She is our life." He told her, beginning to pace now.

" There was a time when we were our whole life." She answered quietly. " There was a time when you told me I was everything to you. Now you won't even look at me."

" That was before Eve."

She slumped back down on the bed, tucking her legs under her and shrinking back into herself. " Do you still love me, Chuck ?"

He stopped pacing instantly and turned to look at her. He hadn't been expecting the question and the words, of course, were right on the tip of his tongue. But before they got any further, he hesitated. He didn't want to lie to her. He didn't to mislead her. He owed her that much.

He came to the foot of the bed and sat down with the weight of everything baring down on him, smothering all the fire out of him. " You gave up on her, just like that. How could you just give up ? I don't know if I can forgive that."

She was blinking at him in surprise when he turned his head towards her. " That doesn't answer my question." She said through a new set of tears.

" I don't know, Blair. I really don't know."

She sighed and sunk down even further. " Where does that leave us then ?"

" I don't know." He repeated.

She was crying again and it was driving him crazy. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't be here watching her fall apart in front of him yet again.

His phone rang and he was so grateful for the distraction, he jumped to his feet and snatched it to his ear without even looking at the screen to see who it was.

" Chuck ?" The familiar voice asked before he had a chance to say hello.

" Yeah, Mike, what is it ?"

Mike Hudson had been by his side almost constantly since the day it happened. He hadn't given up on Eve and he understood why Chuck couldn't give up either. He had been right there with him, offering his resources from his years on the police force, following every lead they came across and supporting his search wholeheartedly. But then, of course he had, like he'd confessed to Chuck the day they met, he had been right where Chuck was now. It hadn't lasted very long for him, but he knew what Chuck was going through and Chuck was grateful to have him on his side.

" I've got something. I'm not sure what yet, but it might be something big." He told him.

" Something like what ?" Chuck asked, completely ignoring the movement he heard coming from behind him.

" Activity in an off shore account in the name of Savannah Sutherland. I did some checking on everything we have on our suspects and found that its an alias Georgina Sparks has used in the past. I'm trying to trace the activity now. I should have something more solid in a few hours." Mike explained.

" How solid ?" He asked quickly even as he began to get dressed.

" An address maybe. It depends on how careful she's being. I'm hoping that since so much time has gone by, she might be more willing to stick her head out of the hole she's been hiding in."

Chuck could feel his heart hammering in his chest. It was just the thing they had been hoping for. A slip up, a mistake they could use to their advantage.

" I'm on my way." Chuck told him before hanging up.

" You're leaving again, already ?" Blair asked from directly behind him.

" We might have a lead on Georgina." He told her without turning around as he continued to shrug into his clothes.

" Might have ?" She asked.

Finally he took a deep breath and turned towards her. " Yes, might have. That's the best we can do under the circumstances."

" Maybe, might haves and possibly's aren't enough anymore, Chuck. We need to talk about us."

He paused. He knew she was right. They did need to figure out what was happening between them. It was important. But so was this and he couldn't not follow through with it. She had to understand that. This could be the lead they had been looking for, the one piece of information they needed to make it all work. The one thing that could lead him to his daughter.

" I'll try to come back tomorrow." He told her, trying to give her something at least. " We can talk about it then."

" You won't be here tomorrow. It took you two weeks to make it here today. Will it be another two weeks before you come back ?" She demanded, walking away from him.

" It won't be. I'll be here tomorrow if I can. The day after at the very least. I promise." He assured her.

She shook her head sadly. " If all this means so little to you, maybe you shouldn't come back at all."

" What ?" He asked, blinking in surprise and faltering in his footsteps. " What are you saying ?"

" I'm saying I'm done, Chuck. Maybe Eve isn't the only thing I need to move on from. You can't even tell me you love me anymore. Where does that leave us ?" She told him quietly. " Maybe it's best if we just stop pretending we have a marriage to fix."

" Blair !" He yelled. " This is ridiculous. You can't be serious."

" You don't love me anymore. I'm not sure that I still love you either. We've changed, Chuck. We're different people now and neither of us likes the people we've become."

He moved over to her and slowly sank down on the bed beside her. As much as he wanted to argue with her and tell her she was wrong, he couldn't find the words or the will to do it. She was right. Everything she was saying was spot-on honest and he couldn't disagree with her logic.

" What happens now ?" He asked, his voice the quiet one this time.

" Now, we go our separate ways. We try to give ourselves some time and maybe when all this is over for both of us, we try again." She told him like she'd been planning the whole thing for a while now.

" So you're saying until I give up on Eve like you have, you don't want me around ?" He clarified.

" Until you accept the inevitable, I think its best that you don't come back here. I can't take it and you don't want to be here."

Suddenly he saw something in her eyes and it startled him. There was more, something she wasn't saying, something she was trying to hide.

" What aren't you saying ?" He asked, getting to his feet again.

" Nothing." She said and she was trying too hard to make him believe it. She was a better liar than that.

" What is it, Blair ? You have more to say. I want to hear it. What's going on that I don't know about ?" He demanded, more certain than ever that he was right.

" There is nothing else to say, Chuck. I'm done and I'm tired. You should go now." She turned away from him and crawled up the bed until her head was resting on the pillow, then she pulled the blankets over her.

" I'll be back to get my things." He said, turning his back on her and stalking to the door.

" I'll get them ready for you." She answered, then turned over, giving him her back and shutting him out completely.

He gave her one last long look before opening the door and leaving her behind.


	7. Unbearable

Chuck threw back the drink in his hand and sat the glass back down on the bar in front of him. He was making a quick stop before going home to talk to his wife. He needed the liquid courage the scotch provided him. He was pretty sure he was about to have the fight of his life.

And he had nothing to give her to quell some of anger. She had been right. Of course the tip hadn't panned out the way they had hoped. That would have been too easy. If it had, he would be able to march right back into his penthouse apartment and tell her that he had wonderful news. Maybe that would have made her forget the fact that she had more or less thrown him out three days before.

He still couldn't believe that turn of events. He wasn't sure what he wanted to happen between them, but just throwing their hands up and quitting hadn't been an option for him. This was BLAIR. His Blair. He always believed that no matter what happened between them, they would work through it.

That had always been the way it was for them, they worked through things together. He had never imagined, it would come to this. Since the day he had reluctantly admitted that he loved her, he never imagined it would ever end.

He closed his eyes, tossed back another glass and tried to imagine his life without Blair in it. It was bad enough trying to get by without Eve, but without Blair was unbearable. He had never been a big believer in words like impossible and unbearable. He felt that there was nothing that a person couldn't do if they wanted to bad enough, if it meant enough to them. There was no love that couldn't be gotten over, no loss that couldn't be accepted, no task that couldn't be accomplished. You just had to want it bad enough.

Getting over Blair and Eve was unbearable because he simply just couldn't think of anything left for him on the other side. Living didn't seem that important without them to live for. Going through life didn't seem so exciting without them by his side.

One, he might be able to accept, though he could never make that choice himself, but both of them. It was pointless. Meaningless to even try to recover from that. There was nothing worth it on the other side.

Deciding that it was time to do something about the whole situation, he flopped a few bills down on the bar and took off to save his crumbling marriage.

He had a plan. He had been thinking about it for three days now. He had considered all of his options. Did he burst through the door and beg her to forgive him and take him back, even if that meant giving up on his search for his daughter ? Did he try to reason with her, bringing her over to his side ?  
He had spent a lot of hours thinking about what to do next.

It was true he wasn't certain about his feelings for her anymore. She was right, they had both changed and neither of them liked the people they'd become. But Chuck had to believe that it was a temporary situation. Once he found Eve, everything would be right between them again.

He didn't like the person she'd become. He didn't understand her anymore. He couldn't see things the way she did.

But there had been flashes, flashes grand enough to send him staggering under the weight of his love for her, the last time they talked. His Blair was still in there somewhere and she was fighting to get out. He had to help her. He couldn't just leave her like that. It was like she was buried alive under the burden of all her suffering and he was determined to help her dig herself back out.

Just knowing she still existed, some small part of her still remained was enough to make him want to fight for whatever they had left between them with everything inside him.

He needed her, needed her like he needed air. That had never changed and recently he was becoming desperate from his lack of having her with him.

His hands balled into fists. He just missed her so DAMNED much. He was finally understanding words like unbearable and he was sorry he ever belittled what people went through while dealing with the unbearable things by not believing in it.

The limo slowed and he straightened his tie and smoothed the lapels of his jacket. He had a plan.

It was a good plan. Tonight he was going to find his Blair. He was going to march up those stairs and tell her in the best way he knew how that they still worked together.

He was going to make her his again.

It was with those possessive, dangerous, lustful thoughts buzzing in his head that he shot from the elevator and dashed up the stairs without preamble, without wasting anytime.

His entire body hummed with electricity and it was the first time in longer than he could remember that he was excited about something. How could he have forgotten what it was like to have her writhing and groaning under him ? How could he have dismissed from his mind the memory of the way she tasted, the way she moved, the way she made him feel ?

He didn't bother knocking. It was his bedroom, after all. Why should he have knocked first ?

The moment the door opened, he truly regretted that decision.

He stood there with his mouth opened, his hands at his side, blinking as he tried to make sense of what was happening in front of him.

She whirled towards the door, anger flashing in her eyes until she realized who had just barged in, then she squealed and grabbed for the sheets laying haphazardly across the foot of the bed.

The man under her was squirming, a look of sheer dread and panic etched across his face.

" Blair." He said, quietly feeling a sudden sense of calm take him over. He knew it was wrong. He should be angry. He should be launching himself across the room and throttling the life out of both of them. But he couldn't move. Something was keeping him in place and making it impossible for him to do more than simply stare at them.

" Chuck," Blair managed as she untangled herself from her partner and pulled the sheet up to her neck. " What are you doing here ?"

" I live here." He bit out between gritted teeth.

She shifted and drew several strands of hair from her face. " I thought we talked about you not living here anymore." She told him.

" THREE DAYS AGO !" There was the rage that he had been anticipating since opening the door. It bubbled out of him unhindered and it took everything inside him to keep himself where he was. He knew better than to get any closer.

The man in the bed with her looked so startled and terrified he almost felt sorry for him. But then he remembered his very naked condition and the image of His Blair straddling him and all thoughts of compassion flew out the window.

" GET THE FUCK OUT !" Chuck yelled making him jump as if he'd been shot and snatch at a sheet to pull around himself.

He scrambled to his feet still without saying a word and managed to keep himself covered as he got upright. Then he paused, glancing around him like a deer caught in a pair of headlights. The only way for him to go anywhere would be for him to brush past Chuck in the process. He really didn't look like he thought much for that option. So he just stood there in the middle of the room, clutching the sheet at his waist and looking helplessly from one of them to the other.

" For God's sake, Chuck, let him by." Blair finally said in exasperation.

A thought suddenly occurred to him. Blair had never been one for casual relationships. Which left him with only one conclusion. She knew this quivering, small, ridiculous little man. He wasn't tall by any means, less than six foot for certain. His shoulders were slender, his chest more rounded than planed. He was lanky and weak looking, pale and skinny. His hair was dark was cut short and worn neat. His eyes small and more than a little beady.

As Chuck stood there eying him so intently it suddenly occurred to him that he knew exactly who this man was. He was absolutely certain of it.

He moved slowly as if afraid a sudden move would startle the already trembling man and send him running. Chuck didn't want that. It would only deny him the satisfaction he deserved.

" Dr. Hearst ?" Chuck asked as he came within touching distance of him.

"Chuck, leave him alone." Blair told him as she scrambled to her feet as well. " This isn't his fault."

He turned his head towards her slowly not believing the words that were coming out of her mouth.

Not his fault ? He had manipulated her, turned her against her own husband, caused her to give every one of his daughters possessions away. How was this by any stretch of the imagination not HIS fault ?

He caught a movement from the corner of his eye and it spurred him into action. He didn't bothering turning his head back, he just raised his fist and buried it as deeply as he could into the man's stomach. Then without waiting for a response, he rared back again and let his hand connect with the doctor's face.

Blair was on her feet now, snatching and grabbing at him to pull him away. And he really thought he should probably listen and stop hitting the man, but something inside him wouldn't let go and he couldn't make his arm stopping swinging as all the frustration and horror of the last few months of his life poured out of him and into the man that Blair was sleeping with.

" Chuck !" Blair was crying again, moaning and wailing and it really did nothing but spike his anger even further. His Blair didn't cry and sob constantly. His Blair didn't fall apart every time she turned around. His Blair was strong and capable. This person, the person that was currently pulling him away from the good doctor, wasn't his wife. She wasn't anything like his wife.

He had been kidding himself, seeing what he wanted to see and hearing what he wanted to hear. The flashes he had dreamed up the last time they talked, where just that, dreams. Make believe and fantasies and he didn't believe in any of those things. There was nothing of his Blair left in the pathetic little weakling that tugged at his sleeve and begged him to stop. His Blair would have grabbed a weapon and made him stop if she really wanted him to. His Blair would have dropped him on his ass if that was her intention.

He staggered upright and gave the doctor one last kick before turning to her with murder in his eyes. This woman was responsible for the death of his wife. This woman let his wife die without even fighting to save her. She allowed herself to turn her back on, not just herself but them, Chuck and Blair.

His vision blurred around the edges as he watched her cry and wail. Her eyes fell to the man on the floor behind him and he backed away from her quickly. He couldn't stay within reaching distance of her, it wasn't safe. He didn't trust himself not to snatch her up and break her.

It would be so easy. She was so ridiculously pathetic and fragile. It wouldn't much at all really.

Chuck Bass wasn't a violent man. He never had been. Passive aggression was more his mode of operation. He didn't play violent video games or enjoy action movies the way most men did. He never really saw the point of violence.

But as he slowly backed away from the woman he imagined an hour ago was everything in the world to him, he completely understood violence.

" Chuck, wait." She wailed and started towards him. Something in his eyes must have warned her against the stupidity of the move and she halted her progression abruptly.

He turned on his heel, no longer able to look at her, no longer able to take the sight of the man on the ground that had been in his bed only a few minutes before.

Now he understood. Now he really knew what people meant when they claimed something was unbearable.


	8. A door closes as a window opens

They had been standing in the room staring at each other for what seemed like hours. He didn't know how long it had really been, but he did know that he was tired and it didn't seem like they were getting anywhere. Neither of them had much to say. She had begged him. That was the only reason he was there to begin with.

" So what happens now ?" She asked in a shaky voice that just made him hate her more.

He went to the closet, suddenly feeling more calm than he ever had before. It was surreal, the feeling that was consuming him.

" What are you doing ?" She asked, her voice small and weak as she watched him. He could feel her eyes following his every move and he didn't care at all. She could watch him all she wanted. She could cry and wail and throw herself in the middle of the floor in a fit for all he cared. He just knew he had to get away from her, as far away as he possibly could.

He yanked a suitcase out from the bottom of the closet and started to fill it with everything he could grab that belonged to him. When he was done there he went to the antique dresser in the corner and repeated the motions.

Finally, satisfied that he had everything he might need, he zipped up the bag and hefted it up off the floor.

Then without a look at her, without a word, he turned towards the door and began to walk towards it.

" CHUCK!" She screamed from behind him and suddenly she was right there, grabbing his arm and trying to keep him from moving.

He brushed her off easily considering she had very little strength left in her and continued on towards the door.

Throwing it open with a bit of a dramatic flair, he made his way quickly down the hall.

He paused at Eve's bedroom door and dropped the bag to the floor with a thump.

Tugging the door opened, he nearly staggered at the emptiness that greet him. She had even had the walls repainted. Gone was the teddy bear wallpaper they had so carefully chosen back when everything was so happy and good between them. Now only an empty room devoid of any kind of furniture, stark white walls and beige carpet was the only thing he saw and it seemed fitting.

That was all that was left of them. Stark white walls and a neutral carpet. There was absolutely nothing left of the marriage he had cherished so much.

When he turned from the room, his eyes found hers. She was standing in the bedroom door watching him. He squinted his eyes, trying to see just a hint of the woman he loved in the monster that she had become. But it wasn't there. Blair was gone and he was never going to get her back.

" Where are you going ?" She asked quietly.

" I have a place." He hitched the bag higher on his shoulder.

" Are you coming back ?"

" No, Blair." He answered firmly. " It's over."

She took a step towards him then paused. " How can you say that ?"

" How could you get rid of everything our daughter owned then sleep with your therapist in MY bed ?" He could feel the anger bubbling up again and he took a deep breath to fight it off. He didn't want to be angry anymore. He had been angry for a week now. He really thought it had mostly played itself out. But apparently all it took was being in the same room with her to refuel his ire.

" Chuck, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I just needed someone and Dr. Hearst was there." She tried to explain.

" I don't want to talk about Dr. Hearst." His voice was a boom of thunder in the small hallway where they stood.

" He was there for me, Chuck. I begged you for months to come home and you refused. I know this hasn't occurred to you, but I lost my daughter, too." She replied stubbornly.

" I haven't lost anything. I'm going to find her." He spat.

" No, Chuck. You aren't. You are not going to find her. She's gone. It's been too long." She retorted just as harshly.

" When I do bring her home, what has she got to come home to now ? How could you, Blair ? How could erase her from your mind like that ?" He demanded.

" I didn't erase anything. She's just about all I think about. And she's not coming home, Chuck. She's NOT coming home."

He snatched the suitcase from the ground where he'd dropped it and gave her one last look. " You're right. She's not coming back here."

" What is that supposed to mean ?" Blair asked with her hands on her hips.

" It means I believed if I could just find her everything between us would be right again. I really thought I could fix this if I could bring her home." He shook his head ruefully. " Now I know it doesn't matter. When I find her, and I will, I know now that it won't matter to us anymore. Having her here won't bring us back to where we were before she was lost. It really is over now."

Then he took up both of his bags and turned towards the stairs. " My lawyer will be in touch." He called over his shoulder before starting the downward climb.

* * *

He was barely inside his limo with the door closed when his phone rang. He snatched it from his inner jacket pocket and pushed the talk button quickly.

" Bass." He hissed into the phone.  
" Do you remember Savannah Sutherland ?" The familiar voice of Mike Hudson asked as soon as he answered.

" Yeah," Chuck said. " One of Georgina's aliases."

" Right." Mike confirmed. " Someone using that name just bought a house in Houston, Texas by that name. Neighbors say she's a nice young woman, a single mother, even."

Chuck's heart leaped into his throat. " How fast can you be at the airport ?"

" I'm at the airport, buddy. I got your jet fueled up, we're just waiting on you."

The plane ride was excruciating. Two hours into the four hour flight, Chuck was practically bouncing in his seat. His foot which was crossed over his knee shook nearly continuously. He couldn't be still.

" How did things go at home ?" Mike asked breaking the silence finally. It was the first time either of them had spoken for nearly an hour.

" Not well." Chuck muttered.

" I'm sorry, Man. I was really hoping you could find a way to work things out."

" No, I think that ship has sailed." Chuck said louder this time.

" What happens when this is over and we're bringing your daughter home ? What does that mean for you and your wife ?" Mike asked, shifting nervously. They weren't really close like that. It was an invasive question and he wasn't sure if it was okay to ask it.

" Nothing." Chuck answered without hesitating. " It means that I have my daughter back. It doesn't mean anything for my marriage. It's too broken to fix anymore."

" Do you have everything you need to take care of Eve when we find her ? I know you said she got rid of all her stuff."

Chuck sat up a little straighter. " I replaced it all or what I could of it."

" So you knew you were leaving before you even went there tonight ?"

" Yeah, I guess I did." Chuck nodded. " I just don't think I can get passed everything she's done, what she's become. "

" But what if finding Eve brings her back to herself ?" Mike continued.

" It still doesn't matter and it isn't about the cheating. It's about the fact that she gave up, she just gave up, not just on Eve, but on us." Chuck answered, the words leaving his mouth before he could stop them.

" I understand, Man. I've been divorced for three years now. It gets easier." Mike assured him.

" Divorced." Chuck mumbled, testing the word on his lips.

" It's not that scary. You were a single guy before. You just can't remember it now. It'll all come back to you eventually. And you'll have your daughter with you. She's lucky to have a father who refused to give up on her."

Chuck shifted this time, not at all comfortable with the heavy emotional conversation they were having. " Thank you." He said eventually.

" Thank me on the way back when we have Eve with us." Mike told him before letting the silence fill the space again.

A/N : I have been getting quite a bit of feedback from readers concerned about the outcome of this story. Let me just reassure everyone here that this really is a Chair story. If you've ever read anything else I've written you know that things might fall apart but everyone lives happily ever after in the end. The journey getting there is the best part.


	9. Author's note

Author's note : I just wanted to take a moment to tell everyone that I haven't stopped writing any of the stories that I'm currently working on. I'm not sure when I'll get the updates out, but they will be there. I'm dealing with a family emergency, an unexpected death is taking up all my time. But I will be updating again soon. Please be patient with me.


	10. A little lamb lost in the woods

Chuck Bass sat in a cramped, uncomfortable chair in the tiny police station in a suburb of Houston. He tried to suppress his grin as he watched the good ole boy police officers with their cowboy hats strutting around the office as if they had too much to do and not enough time to do it in. Chuck couldn't imagine that that was anywhere near the truth.

His foot tapped restlessly where it was resting on his knee. He wanted to get up and pace. He needed to move but he was afraid that if he drew too much attention to himself, the 'cowboy' officers would try to engage him in conversation and he certainly didn't want that.

Drawing in a deep breath and sighing heavily as he exhaled, he glanced at the Rolex on his wrist and sighed again. Mike had been gone for over an hour. Too long. He had been gone too long.

Chuck Bass didn't do waiting.

His eyes fell to the chair beside him and he cursed under his breath at its emptiness. Blair should be in that chair. Blair was supposed to be in that chair, waiting impatiently right along beside him. That was how it SHOULD be.

He had been on his own, a once again single man, for a little over a week now, although if he were honest with himself, he had been alone a lot longer than that. It had been months since he felt close to her. Months since he stopped feeling the way he used to feel when he looked at her.

And he missed her. He missed her so badly it felt like a physical ache in his chest sometimes. Missed her so badly he found it hard to get himself out of bed each day.

And more than that, he was tired. Tired of all the do-gooders and well-wishers. Tired of telling people he was fine. Tired of lying to the people he cared about. Lily hadn't believed him anyway, neither had Serena. He wasn't sure about Nate. Nate was riding so high on his own bliss at his upcoming wedding that very little sank into his brain beyond it. And Chuck couldn't begrudge him that. He wanted nothing more than to see his best friend happy. In all honesty, he was grateful Nate's distraction. The last thing he needed was another person trying to mother him. Serena and Lilly were almost more than he could take.

But what really bothered him about the whole thing was the ease at which the world went on spinning on its axis. Everything kept moving. Despite the fact that Chuck's entire world had fallen down around him, it hadn't affected the rest of the world at all. That seemed wrong to him. It seemed like there should have been more of an impact on the world at large.

He shifted, sitting up straighter and craning his neck as the tiny bell above the door sounded out over the bustle happening around him. Mike walked in with a local officer and he immediately began to search the room for Chuck.

Chuck held his breath, trying desperately to gauge the news simply from the look on his friend's face, but he couldn't get a read on him. Mike had one of the best poker faces Chuck had ever seen.

Getting cautiously to his feet, Chuck stepped around the half wall that separated the room and made his way towards him.

Then his footsteps halted so abruptly that he nearly stumbled. The clanging of the bell above the door sounded out again, bringing his attention there and in the next instant the entire world around him faded from his view.

There was another local police officer standing in the doorway, a female officer with long blond hair pulled tightly into a neat bun at the back of her head. She was a small woman, Chuck guessed she wasn't much more than five feet and some change. She was wearing the same khaki colored uniform as the rest of the officers. Her shirt was decorated by the same thin black tie as everyone else. The only thing that made her different, the thing that made her stand out in Chuck's mind was the tiny hand wrapped around that tie.

The tiny hand that lead to the arm that lead to the shoulder, that lead to the body of Eve. She looked different, of course. There was no way she could not have changed in the four and half months she'd been gone. She had more hair, for one thing. A head full of dark brown colored hair, in fact. The hand that wasn't wrapped around the officer's tie was curled into a fist and planted firmly in her mouth. Her head was resting on the woman's shoulder and her eyes were nearly closed in sleepiness.

Chuck couldn't make his body move. His feet weren't listening to his commands. And he suddenly realized why. He had dreamed this scenario over and over in the last months, so many times it was a scene permanently etched into his brain. And in the dream, every time he got close, every time he reached out to her, she disappeared. Gone before his fingers could touch her entirely too soft skin, gone before he could wrap her in his arms and feel her wiggling against his chest.

He couldn't do it again. He couldn't make himself get close enough to her to make her disappear again. Maybe if he just stood still, he could continue to watch her for a while without her going anywhere.

Mike was suddenly beside him, concern written all over his face. " Tell me it's her." He insisted worriedly.

Chuck tore his eyes away from the baby long enough to glance at his friend and nod. " It's her." He confirmed.

At the sound of his voice, the baby picked her head up from the woman's shoulder and began to glance around the room. She smiled and gurgled as her eyes found his and he felt all the air leave his body.

He must have staggered from the sudden loss because Mike put his hand on his elbow to steady him, though how he could have staggered without moving was beyond him.

" So what are you waiting for ?" Mike asked, " Go get your daughter."

He started to move forward, before stopping and glancing back at the big man. " Is she okay ?"

" Healthy as a horse as near we can tell. We are going to need to get her checked out at the hospital just in case, but I thought we'd stop here first and let you take her." He replied.

The woman was walking towards him now and he was grateful that she had taken the initiative and decided to bring the baby to him instead. Chuck wasn't sure he could make the journey on his own.

She stopped right in front of him and paused as she searched his face, waiting for him to make the next more.

His arms came out instinctively as soon as she was within his reach and he pulled the baby from her arms and into his chest.

Eve came willingly as if she still remembered exactly who he was and what she meant to him. She snuggled into his chest and let her eyes become droopy once again. Chuck watched her in awed disbelief as he carefully cradled her against him.

" Georgina ?" Chuck asked, looking around for Mike again.

" She is in custody and being processed as we speak." He answered.

" And Jack ?"

Mike shook his head. " No sign of him but they have a detail on the house for now. The neighbors say they haven't ever seen anyone else around the house. Looks he just gave her Eve and disappeared."

" That sounds like Jack." Chuck muttered and wasn't able to say anything else as Eve looked up at him and yawned.

" We'll find him, Chuck. I promise." Mike reassured him.

" She won't really be safe until we do." Chuck agreed.

Blair Waldorf-Bass was a mess. She had been a mess for longer than she could remember, but it seemed the last week had been worse. She threw the blankets back and sat up on the side of her bed as someone began knocking at her door.

" What is it ?" She demanded tiredly but with just enough bit to let whoever was disturbing her know she didn't want to be disturbed.

The door creaked open slowly and Dorota entered the room carefully. " It's time to take your medicine." She informed her as she came to the side of the bed and handed her a small cup with three pills inside and a glass of water.

Blair took them dutifully, tossing back the pills before downing half the glass of water. She was incredibly thirsty lately.

" Miss Blair, we should go out this afternoon. Maybe we go shopping, Maybe some new shoes make you feel better." Dorota tried though she knew the effort was wasted.

" I'm not really feeling up to going out." Blair told her predictably and got back into bed, securing the blankets around her as she did.

" Is not good for you to lay in bed all day, Miss Blair. We should go out." Dorota insisted.

" I'm not going anywhere, Dorota." Blair said firmly.

" How about dinner ? Will you at least eat something ?"

The younger woman huffed in exasperation and gave the maid her most frightening glare.

" Fine," She announced finally as she threw up her hands.

She turned to leave but stopped half way to the door. " Mr. Chuck is coming by in a while. He said it was important. Should I tell him you don't want to see him ?"

Blair shifted, sitting up abruptly amidst the blankets and eying Dorota suspiciously. " This isn't just some trick to get me out of bed, is it ?" She asked.

" It's no trick. He said he'd be here as soon as he got back in town. He said to tell you to wait up even if it gets late." Dorota answered.

Blair raised a shaky hand and ran it through the tangled mess of her hair. " When did he call ?"

" About an hour ago. I tried to tell you he was on the phone, but you were sleeping and I couldn't get you to wake up."

" What should I do ?" Blair muttered mostly to herself.

" You should get up, take a shower, get something to eat and wait for him in your best dress." Dorota answered quickly.

Blair her an uncertain look. " Do you think he's coming here to talk about us ?"

Dorota came back to the side of the bed and gave her a gentle look. " Maybe. He sounded.."

Blair blinked at her expectantly. " What ? How did he sound ?"

" Happy. He sounded very happy." She said finally after trying for several moments to find the right words.

" You don't think this is about Eve ?" Blair asked. " I swear if he's coming here to tell me about another lead that isn't going to pan out, you can tell him I'm not taking visitors."

" Miss Blair, what if one day one of the leads does pan out ? What if he finds her ?"

" He isn't going to find her. She's gone." The tears were stinging her eyes again and she brushed at them violently. She was so tired of crying all the time. So tired of the empty, hallow feeling that seemed to consume her every waking minute. She just wanted things to be normal again. And she knew if she kept holding on to the hope that Eve was still out there somewhere, things would never be normal.

Dorota almost reached out a hand to touch her but thought better of it at the last moment. She wasn't sure how Blair would react. Lately, it seemed she didn't want to be touched by anyone, for any reason.

Finally with a heavy sigh, Dorota turned away from Blair and left the room.

It did get late. Then it got later still with no sign of Chuck and Blair was becoming irritated. She had gotten out of bed, taken a shower and even willed herself into some make up and heels. Her Dior hugged rather loosely, but it wasn't as bad as she had expected it to be. She was putting aside the fact that the dress in question was one she only reserved for days when she was feeling especially skinny. Meaning, under normal circumstances when things like how she looked mattered to her, it was a tightly fitting dress. Now it hung on her scarecrow frame rather awkwardly.

She stuck out her chin and refused to acknowledge that anything was wrong with the dress.

She had already very nearly worn a hole in the carpet between the elevator doors and the sitting room. Her nails were little more than nubs and she could tell that her constant nervous fidgeting was driving Dorota mad.

Still, No Chuck. One o'clock in the morning and there had been nothing from him, not even a phone call.

Standing with a perturbed grunt of disgust, she gathered her drink and drained it before sitting it on the table beside her and nodding to Dorota.

" I'm going to bed." She announced. " This is ridiculous. Its typical Chuck. He's playing with me, getting back at me. Well, I'm a grown up now and these games are tiresome. If he shows up at all, tell him I said to go to Hell."

Dorota blinked at her in sudden shocked surprise and got slowly to her feet as if she was afraid of startling her. " Miss Blair," She breathed in a watered down voice backed up by tears brimming her eyes. " You are in there."


	11. Back to Eden

Chuck glanced at his watch and cursed under his breath as he slid Eve from her car seat and into his arms. The hospital had taken longer than he expected and then the flight from Texas had taken longer because of storms. Now it was nearly two in the morning and he doubted that Blair had bothered to stay up to wait for him. He would be amazed if she had.

He tried to ignore the doorman's stare as he entered the building and made his way quickly to the elevator, all the while trying to keep Eve covered and away from roving eyes. The last thing he needed was one of his family members to hear the news from a Gossip Girl blast instead of from him.

He struggled to readjust the sleeping baby in his arms as he hefted the car seat/ carrier in his free hand and waited for the doors to open. Then he placed Eve carefully back in the carrier and covered her with a soft, pink blanket.

As soon as the doors opened, he set her down right outside them and stepped out himself, glancing around for any signs of life.

He spotted movement in the sitting room and went there to find Dorota bustling around, straighten pillows and dusting off tables.

" Is she still up ?" He asked, startling the older woman and causing her to spin towards him abruptly.

" She say to tell you to go to hell." Dorota answered a bit sheepishly.

" How long ago did she retire for the night ?" He asked with a sigh.

" About an hour. She say you were playing with her and she wasn't going to let you."

" She said that, really ?" He smirked. " That almost sounds like the old Blair."

Dorota paused before stepping closer to him and whispering conspiratorially. " For a minute, just for a minute, I thought so, too. Then she went right back to acting how she always acts now, so sad and...lost."

Chuck let the smile slip from his face as he realized that all his troubles weren't over after all. Blair may have hurt him, but she was still Blair and she still needed him whether he wanted to be needed or not.

" Come to the hall. I have someone with me you should see." He told her quietly.

Dorota nodded and dutifully followed him into the hall without asking any more questions.

When she got there, she glanced around for a moment trying to spot the newcomer before her eyes finally landed on the carrier sitting beside the elevator.

Her hand instantly went to her mouth as she tried to diminish the sound of a sheik she was helpless to stop. " Is that-"

" Yes, it is." Chuck answered no longer able to keep himself from going to the carrier and lifting the baby out. She fussed quietly in her sleep but never opened her eyes as her father brought her into his chest and adjusted her against him.

" Where ? How?" Dorota sputtered as she eyed the baby in wonder, coming close enough to reach a hand out to touch her.

" In Texas." Chuck explained. " Georgina had her."

Dorota looked up from the baby, searching Chuck's face for a moment. " Your Uncle Jack ?"

" No sign of him, but we're looking. We won't give up until we find him."

" You must take her to Ms. Blair. She'll be so excited."

Chuck tried to hide his smile. " Maybe I should just take her and go to hell like Ms. Blair suggested."

Dorota visibly bristled. " She not know what she was saying Mr. Chuck. Please take her upstairs. Ms. Blair need to know she's home and safe."

Chuck held his hand out to stop her. " I have a better idea. How about you take her and I'll get Blair to come down here. " He handed off the baby and Dorota beamed and she brought her into the crook of her arm. He made for the stairs before stopping halfway there and turning back to her. " I know it's really late, but did she eat tonight ?"

Dorota shook her head silently.

" See if cook will make us something. I'm starving and I'm going to insist that Blair eats something before I leave."

" She will fight you." She warned him.

" It isn't the first time I've fought with Blair. I'm betting it won't be the last." He answered before taking off up the stairs.

He slowed as he approached the closed bedroom door and took a deep breath.

He knocked quietly as first, not wanting to startle her. Then he tried again, louder this time when he still got no answer. The third time was louder still and when he still received no response, he opened the door and stepped inside.

It was dark, darker than he expected it to be. The journey across the expanse of the bedroom would have been treacherous if he didn't know the layout of the room as well as he did.

He made it to the side of the bed and softly called her name, trying not to startle her.

When it had no effect, he tried again, louder this time.

After the third time, he reached out a hand and shook her shoulder. Blair had never been this hard to wake before. Usually just the sound of the door opening was enough to bring her out of her slumber. And she hadn't been asleep for very long. Dorota said she'd just come to bed an hour ago.

He shook her harder and breathed a sigh of relief when she finally stirred.

" Blair," He whispered again now that she was coming around.

" Chuck ?" She groaned at him and despite all his anger towards her, he still felt a thrill at hearing his name fall from her lips like that.

" Wake up." He told her. " We need to talk."

She stirred again, sitting up slowly and reaching for the light in the dark. She found it and flipped it on, illuminating the room in a soft, yellowish glow. " Can this wait ? It's two o'clock in the morning."

" No, it can't wait. Which is why when I called I said, wait for me. It's important." He tried to keep the ire from his voice, but failed miserably.

" We never heard from you again. I thought you were playing with me." She blinked her eyes groggily and her speech was a touch slurred. " It wouldn't be the first time you've done something like that."

He huffed and let out a tired sigh. " Will you just come downstairs ? Like I said, it's important."

" I'm not getting up. Whatever you have to say to me, you can say right here." She told him, a little more awake now as she crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

" Okay." He conceded. " I need to know how you are. Have you been eating ? Have you been taking care of yourself ?" He needed to know if she was taking care of herself. How could she possibly take care of a baby if she couldn't manage to take care of herself.

" What ? Why ?"

There was a noise at the door and both of them turned towards it. Chuck moved towards it the minute he recognized it as the sound of crying. Blair sat up straighter in the bed and swung her legs over the side, getting to her feet as well.

" What is that ?" She demanded.

Chuck opened the door to find Dorota on the other side with a crying Eve wiggling in her arms.

" She started the minute you came upstairs." Dorota explained as she handed the baby back to her father. " I think she not like being away from you."

Chuck took her and turned back to Blair.

" This is what's so important." He answered her finally.

" Is that -" She paused as she took another step forward. Her footfalls were unsteady and unsure as she came to within arms reach of them.

" Yes, it is." He beamed as he looked down at this daughter. " I told you I'd find her."

" What ? Where ? How did you do it ?" She asked as if the words were falling off her tongue without permission. Her face was awestruck as she stared at the pink bundle in his arms.

" She was in Texas with Georgina." He explained.

" Texas ?" Blair asked, taking another step closer.

" Yes, Texas." He shifted the baby and looked up at Blair. Then he held Eve out to her.

Blair hesitated for a breath before she took her daughter into her arms and held her close.

" Is she okay ?" She asked finally. " Did they take good care of her ?"

" She's perfect."

" Where's Georgina now and Jack ?"

" Georgina is in jail. There was no sign of Jack, but I will find him, too. I won't stop until I do." He promised her.

Blair moved back to the bed and settled into it with Eve in her arms. " She looks so different." She murmured just loud enough for Chuck to hear.

" She's grown." He agreed as he joined her and perched on he side of the bed.

Then suddenly Blair shook her head as if clearing the last of a fog from it. " We need things. Dorota !"

The shout was unnecessary as the maid had never left the doorway, but at hearing her name she came into the room.

" We need things, baby things. Get people on the phone." Blair demanded.

Chuck started at seeing the sudden change come over her. It was unreal, the transformation that took place right in front of him.

His Blair was rearing her beautiful head and his own head swam with confusion as he watched her sitting there with his daughter in her arms. His family, whole and complete once again. But it wasn't his family anymore. Too much had happened for that.

Eve was all that mattered now. It was all about Eve. Blair was no longer his to claim.

He shifted and cleared his throat preparing himself mentally for the fight that was about to ensue.

" It's okay, Blair. I have everything she needs and she's coming with me tonight." He told her firmly.

" What ?" Blair shrieked as her eyes found his. " She's not going anywhere."

He took a deep breath. " Blair, you don't have so much as a diaper here. I have everything at my place. It just makes sense that she should come home with me. Besides I'm not letting her out of my sight again."

" Then you better be prepared to move back in, because I'm not letting her go again."

Chuck crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes, letting her know that he had no intentions of backing down.

" Wait," They both turned their heads towards Dorota who had spoken up. " Please don't fight."

Blair opened her mouth to say something but Eve wiggled around and let out a wail that silenced them all.

Chuck got to his feet. Then he moved to take Eve back. Blair resisted him at first but the baby's continuing cries finally changed her mind and she relented at last.

Chuck took a few minutes to quiet the infant before looking back at Blair. " I'm not leaving her." He repeated.

" She's not leaving here." Blair answered crossing her arms again.

It was a stalemate. They stared at each other in silence as the minutes ticked on between them.

" I have idea." Dorota interjected.

" Stay out of this." Blair snapped at her.

Chuck bristled and readjusted the baby in his arms. " Do not talk to her like that. She deserves more from you after all the shit you put her through."

Blair shrank back slightly, knowing he was right and her face took on an apologetic look as she glanced back at the maid.

" What's your idea ?" Chuck asked her when it became apparent Blair wasn't going to do it.

" Why not take both of them to your home tonight and tomorrow we can get all the things we need for her here ?" Dorota asked quietly.

Chuck turned back to Blair not at all sure he liked the idea of bringing her home with him. He wasn't sure he was ready. He wasn't prepared to bring Blair back to Eden. But the long flight and the emotional tirade of the day were wearing on him and he had no other solution.

" Fine, back a bag, Sweetheart. I guess you're coming with me." He announced at last.


	12. The harsh reality of the past

" Blair." She heard his voice like it was coming through a fog, distant and faint. " Blair." He repeated, louder this time and she struggled to open her eyes to find him. When she finally did, the look on his face was full of worry and concern. " Are you alright ? I've never had so much trouble waking you up."

She nodded groggily and tried her best to muster a smile. " I'm fine." She told him, sitting up a little straighter against the cool leather of the limo's seats. " Are we here ? Where is here anyway ?"

" Didn't I mention that ?" He asked with a rueful smirk. " I've been staying at Eden. And yes, we're here."

She instantly sat up straighter and garnered a glance out his window. " You brought us to Eden ? I haven't been here in months."

He nodded as his door opened. " I know. It hasn't changed much. I left everything like it was except for the spare bedroom."

He got out and offered her his hand to assist her exit as well. She hesitated a moment before taking it. Once she did, her breath caught at the feel of the contact between them. It had been so long since he touched her, even in the most innocent way he was now.

He let her go the moment she was out of the vehicle and went around to the other side to get Eve. When he came back to her it was with the baby in his arms and a furrow on his brow.

" What is it ?" She asked at his changed expression.

" Nothing. I just hadn't thought about the sleeping arrangements. There are only two bedrooms." He muttered as he started for the building's entrance without waiting to see if she was following or not.

She rushed after him and darted inside as soon as he opened the door. " I'll take the sofa. It's fine." She assured him.

" No, it's okay. You don't have to do that. I seem to recall that we can manage to share a bed." He answered over his shoulder as he started up the stairs.

" Yeah, I seem to recall that, too." She muttered under her breath while she watched him walking away.

She hurried after him again, catching him as he reached the top landing. " I was hoping that maybe we might have a chance to talk while I'm here." She announced while waiting for him to unlock the door.

He glanced down at Eve then back up to her. " I don't think we have much to say anymore, Blair."

The bottom fell out of her stomach at his declaration and she felt the tears welling in her eyes.

He looked at her again and sighed. " Please don't do that." He told her, opening the door an allowing her to enter before following behind her.

" Do what ?" She asked as she swiped her face with the back of her hand.

He cast a glare in her direction before heading off down the hall towards the bedrooms.

She wasn't sure what to do with herself as she glanced around the living room of the apartment that used to feel like the only real home she'd ever had. Chuck said he hadn't changed anything and she couldn't see that anything was out of place, but something felt different, foreign. It was strange looking around a place that seemed so familiar and yet so strange at the same time.

Why didn't it feel the same ? What was different now ?

The pictures on the mantel were exactly as she had placed them, one of her and Chuck on the Beach in Mauhi, another of her and Chuck in Paris, yet another of the two of them on their wedding day. A huge portrait of Nua Parthas occupied the wall over the fireplace. The sofa, a deep green that nearly matched the carpet under her feet, was exactly the same, including the white and beige throw pillows that decorated it. The muraul covering the walls, a beautifully intricate garden in full bloom, was unchanged.

Still there was something missing, something not quite right about the place. She sighed deeply and moved to the sofa, flopping down in its corner and drawing her feet under her after removing her shoes. She stared unseeing at the unlit fireplace, trying to figure out the mystery of Eden, not being Eden, until she heard a throat clearing from the hall archway.

She turned her head and her breath caught in her throat for a moment. He was leaning against the jamb, hands in the pockets of his perfectly tailored dark blue dress pants. His tie was undone, hanging around his neck in a whirl of blue and red strips. He had unbuttoned the top two buttons of his blue dress shirt, reveling the coarse, dark hair that hid underneath.

Her mind instantly went back to the night when all this began. She had been with Nate earlier in the evening and things hadn't gone well. She came to his penthouse seeking Serena, but inwardly hoping to find him. When she did, he was standing just as he was now, a seemingly casual pose on the outside, but something beneath the surface of his posture spoke volumes. He was Humphrey Bogart once again, her very own Rhett Butler come to life and she wanted nothing more than to go to him and let him make her his again.

His tongue snaked out as he wet his lips before they curved into a smile. " Do I have something on my face ?" He asked, innocently.

" Other than the grin that says you know all the answers to every question ever asked, no." She muttered, readjusting on the sofa and turning her face away from him.

She heard movement behind her and realized that he was moving to sit on the other end of the sofa.

" You wanted to talk." He said as he got comfortable. " So talk. I'm listening."

She almost glanced at him. But fear stopped her. She knew this man. She knew him better than anyone else in the world. Chuck wasn't big on forgiveness, he certainly wasn't big on giving second chances. She had to wonder what his game was, what his angle could be. Was he trying to get her to talk to him, tell him things that he could use to hurt her whenever he felt like it ? That was be typical of a hurt Chuck. She had convinced herself that he wasn't like that anymore, that he wouldn't set out to purposefully hurt her ever again. But she struck the first blow and she knew it. She deserved whatever he dealt her.

So she hesitated. And he sighed audibly and leaned back into the sofa, crossing one ankle over his knee and staring into the side of her face so hard she could feel his eyes on her.

" I don't know what to say." She admitted finally when it became clear that he had no intention of helping her and his patients were running thin.

" You could start with why ?" He offered.

She turned to look at him finally and realized that the smile was gone from his face now. The only thing left there was hurt and pain.

She crossed her arms over her chest at the look in his eyes feeling as if she needed to shield herself from the terrible things she saw there. " I don't know." She told him. " I was so lost and so lonely. I'm not even sure how we ended up where we ended up."

He huffed and shifted. " You're telling me you don't know why you did it, or how it happened ?" He asked, and there was a hint of accusation in his voice.

She nodded. She really had no idea. She had tried time and time again to recall the events that lead to Chuck finding her in bed with her therapist and it all seemed shrouded in a fog. A fog that was impossible to find her way through.

" You know I could almost understand the thing with your doctor." He told her finally after several moments of silence. " But, Blair, you gave up on her. You did everything you could to forget she ever existed. How could you do that ?"

Tears welled in her eyes and they fell before she had a chance to brush them away. It was becoming apparent that seeing her cry only served to make him angry and she did everything she could to stop the tears, but it was impossible.

" I didn't give up on her, Chuck. I tried to move on. I was trying to cope with something that's so unimaginable no one should ever have to deal with it." She tried to explain.

He let his eyes fall from her face to the fireplace then back again. " But I told you I would find her." He muttered, uncrossing his legs and letting his hands fall to his lap.

" And I believed you, but the months kept rolling by and every lead came to nothing. You can't balme me for losing my faith after so long with no hope at all." She reasoned.

He said nothing, letting his gaze fall back to the empty fireplace. She had no idea what he was thinking, couldn't recognize the look on his face and it unnerved. She felt as if she were fighting for something and it was the last battle. She felt like she was losing the war. Her next words and actions could very well decide her fate and she knew she had to make them count.

Moving from the corner of the couch and came to stand in front of him before dropping to her knees and resting her hands on his thighs. She had to make sure she had his attention. She felt as if she were about to lose everything in the world that meant anything to her.

His eyes found hers, though it was with some reluctance. His mouth was set in a firm, grim line.

" We grieved in different ways, Chuck. We took different roads and I can never tell you how grateful I am that your road brought her back to us. I'm sorry I didn't trust in you, that I didn't believe you and I will never make that mistake again." She told him, summoning every bit of strength she had left. " I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe that. I was dealing the best way I knew how."

He still said nothing and his body was as rigid as a board as he stared down at her. So she continued, encouraged by the fact that he hadn't jerked away from her or worse yet, tossed her away.

" I lost everything that day. She was gone and you were so obessed with finding her, you left, too. I had nowhere to turn. I just lost my father. Then Eve and you." Her voice broke with the sudden influx of more emotion than she could handle. She buried her face against his thigh and let the sobs come unobstructed, no longer caring whether it made him mad or not. " I'm sorry, Chuck." She cried into the material of his pant leg. " I'm sorry I wasn't stronger. I'm sorry I couldn't handle it all."

She saw his hand move out of the corner of her eye. But he snatched it away before it fell it to her shoulder. Then suddenly he was moving her off of him with gentle yet firm hands. As soon as he had her settled against the sofa, he was on his feet, stepping away from her so quickly she could barely follow the movement.

She looked up at him and found confusion and pain all over his face. He hesitated for a moment when her eyes caught his and he looked like he might came back to her, but he turned abruptly and stalked over to the bar that separated the living room and kitchen. His back was tensed as he went about pouring a glass of scotch. Then, as if he had another thought, he poured a second glass and brought it over to her.

" Get off your knees, Blair. It doesn't suit you." He told her as he thrust the glass towards her.

She blinked up at him in confusion. He seemed more angry now that he had been earlier. Then the confusion was replaced by anger of her own. She had poured her heart out to him and it didn't appear to have affected him at all.

She got to her feet a touch shakily and snatched the drink from his hand. " That's all you have to say to me ?" She demanded before throwing back the drink and letting it burn its way down her throat.

He took a long drink from his own glass before finding her eyes with his. " What is it you want me to say ? All's forgiven ? Let's pretend nothing happened and go right back to the way it used to be ?"

" Tell me you understand." She suggested. " Tell me you can see my side of this. Tell me something. Anything."

He drained the rest of his scotch and went back to the bar to set the glass down. It resounded loudly in the quietness of the room and she winced at the sound.

" I'm going to bed." He said with his back to her as he started down the hall.

" That's it. That's all you have to say to me." She asked before he made it very far.

He turned back to her with what looked like a hurtful comment on his lips and it was more than she could stand. Not after everything. He could at least try to see her side of things. But the anger blazing back at her incenced her further.

" You left me. I haven't heard you say you're sorry for that." She told him.

He stalked towards her, but stopped before he reached her. " I found you in bed with another man." He explained through gritted teeth.

" You left me a long time before that. I needed you and all you could do was tell me you didn't have time for me and my petty little emotions. You threw me aside and made me feel like I didn't matter to you at all. After everything we've been through, you turned your back on me when I needed you the most." Her voice was gaining steadily in volume and the depth of her anger at him startled her. She hadn't really taken the time to realize how much he had hurt her she was too focused on how much she had hurt him. " You're a bastard. And you did exactly what I always knew you would."

" And what was that ?" He demanded, his voice dripping with ire.

" You left when things stopped suiting you. When I stopped suiting you. The minute I stopped acting like you always expected me to act, you took off." She yelled.

" You changed. You stopped being the woman I fell in love with." He answered in the same tone.

" All the more reason for you to stay and help me find her again. It wasn't just me that wasn't strong enough apparently, neither were you."

He opened his mouth to respond when a sudden wail sounded from down the hall and they both forgot what they were doing and took off towards the noise.


	13. Questions in the night

The warmth of the water flowing over his back and shoulders was pure bliss and he threw his head back into the spray and let it cover his face as well. It had been a long, exhausting day and all he wanted now was to slide into bed and try to recover.

That thought stopped him short. He wouldn't be going to his bed alone tonight. In fact, she was probably already there, laying in her spot, on her side of the bed. The spot that had been empty for longer than he wanted to think about.

He missed her. Missed her so badly his chest ached with need for her. It would be so tempting to just forgive her, to throw everything aside and bring her back to him.

But could he ? Could he just forgive her ? Did any of it matter now ? Eve was back where she belonged and safe and healthy. That was the most important thing. That was all that really mattered after all. Everything else seemed so small and petty comparatively. And he had to admit, she had made some valid points in her arguments. He had left her. Instead of standing by her and seeing her through her grief, he ran. He turned his back on her instead of standing by her. He promised he would never do that. He had promised to stand beside her through it all and he hadn't lived up to his side of that promise. He let her down when she needed him most.

He hadn't really thought of it all that way until she pointed it out to him, but now, looking back, he had to admit to himself that a generous side effect of being so obsessed with finding Eve was getting away from Blair.

How could he do such a thing ? How could he have just abandoned her ? He should have been there for her. He realized that now. He knew he was wrong to ignore her. Her need for him had been so obvious. She had begged him time and again. He could still remember the pleading tone of her voice when she asked him to come home over and over again. That tone had done nothing but irritate him at the time and he hated himself for that. Looking back, thinking about his Blair having to beg for anything, let alone him, chilled him to the bone.

He slapped the water off with the palm of his hand and stepped out of the shower. Wrapping a fluffy white towel around his waist, he paused at the bathroom mirror and stood there for a few minutes just staring at his reflection. He had done this many times over the past few months, carefully inspecting himself, trying to find himself in the reflective surface.

He still hadn't been very successful. Everything had changed so quickly for them. It was hard to keep up with it all.

His knuckles were white where they gripped the side of the sink as he stared at his reflection for a few more moments. Then finally he pushed away from it and left the room with his head down and shoulders slumped in what felt like defeat.

It should have been the greatest night of his life. He should be elated, overjoyed. But all he felt was a weariness that seeped into his very bones. He was so damned tired of feeling so damned tired.

He came to a stop outside his bedroom door and paused there. Then unable to help himself, he turned the opposite direction and crept into the spare bedroom instead. The shadows from the windows played across the soft beige carpet as he moved stealthily towards the crib in the corner. There wasn't really enough light to make out the fact that it was empty until he was almost to it. A moment of panic seized him and he spun around, searching out his daughter in the darkness.

He found her quickly and paused again to simply take in the scene in front of him. Blair was in the rocking chair, Eve in her arms, both so asleep even his approach hadn't waken them. He moved finally after several long moments of simply staring and gently eased the baby from her arms.

Once he had her nestled into her crib again, he went back to his wife and nudged her gently.

" Blair," He whispered as loud as he dared. Then he repeated it when she still didn't wake.

The third time he called her name, he began to shake her shoulder as well. What the hell was with her ? She had always had so much trouble sleeping and being such a light sleeper was mostly the cause.

She stirred at last and blinked up at him in confusion. Then she glanced to the crib before looking back at him.

Wordlessly, he held his hand out to her and she took, allowing him to pull her to her feet and guide her from the room.

Leaving both bedroom doors slightly ajar to better hear their daughter, they entered the master bedroom before either of them spoke again.

" Did she wake up again ?" He asked as he moved about the room, gather a pair of pajama pants from a drawer in the antique dresser that sat directly in front of the bed.

" No," Blair nodded as she slid into her side of the bed and pulled the blankets up to her chest. " I just needed to hold her again. I needed to see that she was really here, I guess."

" She's really here and she isn't ever going anywhere again." He reassured her with something of a smug, self-satisfied grin.

" Thank you." She told him as she watched him pull on the pants and take the towel from his waist.

" For ?" He asked.

" I'm not sure whether I've said it or not. I don't remember. But thank you for finding her. Thank you for bringing her home." She answered.

" You don't have to thank me for that, Blair." He shrugged.

" Yes, I do." She said quietly.

" Well, you're welcome." He smiled as he came to his side of the bed and began to eye it warily.

" Are you sure you wouldn't rather let me take the sofa ?" She asked him as her eyes stayed glued to his every movement.

" Don't be silly." He got into the bed and pulled the blankets over him. " This is your bed, too. We can share."

" I promise not to bite." She offered, with something akin to a smile.

He almost chuckled. He felt the sides of his mouth twitch with wanting. But he stubbornly refused. He was willing to share a bed with her, but he wasn't ready to share a laugh. That would be too much. It would mean more to her. He couldn't allow that. He didn't want her to have any illusions.

His head found his pillow and it wasn't until then that he realized how very tired he really was.

" God, I'm so tired." She announced as she nestled herself further under the blankets and found her own pillow.

" Me, too. It's been a long day." He answered.

They were silent for a long time and Chuck almost decided she was already asleep when he heard her sigh in the darkness. Then her voice broke through the quiet.

" Do you think you'll find Jack ?"

" If it's the last thing I do. I won't rest until he's gone, out of our lives for good." He answered with complete sincerity and commitment.

" What will happen to him when you do ?"

" If I can manage not to kill him and if Georgina names him as an accomplice, he'll go to prison, where he belongs."

" DO you think she'll talk ?" She continued.

" If she's offered a lesser sentence by cooperating, of course she will. Georgina has always been all about Georgina. She'll do whatever it takes to save her own ass." He told her.

" Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me ?"

Her question caught him off guard this time and he found himself unable to answer at first. Could he forgive her ? He thought about that.

" For cheating, probably." He told her in all honesty. " Considering some of the things I've done in the past, cheating is not something I could condemn you for." He took a deep breath.

" And everything else ?" Her voice was quiet still, like she didn't really want to ask the questions, but she felt compelled to anyway.

" I don't know, Blair. I just don't know."

His phone was blaring at him and he had no idea where he'd left it. All he knew was someone was blowing it up, calling over and over again without pause.  
He blinked his eyes sleepily and reached over to the nightstand, hoping to find the offending devise there.

" It's in the pocket of your pants." A sleepy voice told him. " They're laying on the chaise."

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to remove the sleep from them as he stood and stumbled his way across the room to the chaise lounge in the corner. Riffling through the pockets, he finally found the phone and smacked at the talk button with the tip of his finger.

" Charles !" Lily's voice immediately screeched before he even had a chance to say hello.

" Lily." He muttered groggily.

" What is going on ? I came to check on Blair but Dorota said she was with you and I should call immediately." Lily burst out. " Are you and Blair working things out ? Did she stay the night with you ?"

" Yes, but it's not what you think. You should probably call everyone and meet us at the penthouse. Blair and I will be there soon. Tell cook to make breakfast." He told her. "

" Everyone ?" She asked.

" Serena, Eric, Eleanor, Nate, Everyone." He clarified.

" When will you be here ?" She asked.

" As soon as we can. Give us an hour." He answered.

" Is everything okay ? Did something happen ?" She continued to badger him.

" Everything is fine, but we really need to talk to all of you. It's very important. Tell everyone to drop everything and get to the apartment." He made sure she understood how important it was with the tone of his voice.

" Alright. I'll get everyone here." She agreed. " Tell me this isn't something bad, Charles. Tell me you aren't getting us all together to announce that you're getting a divorce."

He choked on the breath he was pulling into his lungs. " What would make you think that ?"

" Things haven't been good." She explained. " You're moved out. It's the next natural step."

" We aren't. We haven't talked about that. This isn't about us. Well it is, but not just about us." He tried to explain. " Just get everyone there and we'll tell you everything."

He barely got the sentence out before Eve made her presence known from the other room, rather loudly.

" Oh, my God !" Lily exclaimed. " What was that ?"

" Nothing," He muttered as he watched Blair jump from the bed and dart out of the room, closing the door behind her and successfully blocking the sound of the crying. " It's the television."

There was a long silence as if Lily was deciding whether to believe him or not, but finally she conceded. " Alright. I'll see you soon. Don't keep us waiting."

" We'll be there." He assured her before saying goodbye and hanging up.

He tossed the phone to the bed and went across the hall to help Blair.

He found her and Eve in the kitchen. The baby had quieted the minute her mother picked her up and Blair was trying to juggle her while she got a bottle together.

She glanced up as Chuck entered the room. " Does she still drink a bottle ? Or is she eating more solid things now ?" She asked hesitantly.

" The doctor said she was probably eating cereal now. There's some in the cabinet. I'll make it." He offered.

She shifted Eve in her arms and looked down at her. " We've missed so much. I'll bet she's almost crawling now."

" She can sit up, smile, laugh. She makes the cutest little noises. They aren't words, but they're getting there." He informed her as he went about preparing her breakfast.

" You've seen her ?" Blair asked.

" On the plane ride. She was wide awake the whole ride here. Babbling and cooing, laughing and gargling the whole time." He answered whimsically as he remembered every move she made.

" She won't let go of my finger." Blair smiled as she watched her daughter moving her finger to her mouth. Then she hissed and drew it back quickly. " She has teeth."

" A few. I should have warned you. She's a biter." Chuck laughed despite himself.

Blair yanked a handful of hair from the baby's other fist. " She's a hair puller, too."

" The books say she puts things in her mouth because her sense of taste is more sensitive than her sense of touch." He informed her sagely. " We have to get ready. Everyone is gathering at the penthouse. I'll feed her while you get dressed."

" Not a chance. You go get dressed. I'll feed her then when you're done you can take over." Blair reasoned.

" Alright." He conceded. " I guess that's only fair. I got to feed her twice yesterday."

Blair took the spoon and the bowl of cereal from him. " Yes, it is only fair."

When he emerged from the bedroom he couldn't conceal the smile that covered his face. Blair was sitting at the small round table. Eve was in her highchair beside her wearing most of her breakfast on her face and pink sleeper.

" Did you get any of it in the baby, Blair ?" He asked with a smirk.

" She keeps spitting it back out at me." Blair defended herself quickly.

" That's because you're giving her bites that are too big for her." He came to her and took the spoon, then he heaped a much smaller portion onto it and offered it to Eve. She took and gobbled it down greedily. " I'll finish here. You go get dressed. Then you can give her a bath and get her ready all by yourself."

Blair nodded and moved around him on her way to the bedroom. As she dodged around him, her hand brushed across his shoulder and it sent a shiver down to his toes. He hated that. Hated that she could still manage to illicit that kind of response from him. He didn't want to want her anymore. He didn't want to feel like he still needed her so badly.

He refused to look up until he heard the bedroom door close behind her.


	14. Answers and more Questions

It had been a long day. A long, tiring day. The exuberance of their family and friends had taken a heavy toil on all of them, but most especially on Eve. She was laying across Blair's chest bonelessly, her tiny hand wrapped around her mother's finger as she slept soundly.

" Do you want me to put her to bed ?" A quiet voice asked from the doorway and Blair looked up to see Chuck standing there with his hands in the pockets of his blue pinstriped suit.

She nodded her head slightly, not wanting to move more than necessary in fear of waking her.

Chuck strolled forward almost lazily and gathered his daughter into his arms. Then he left the room with her without another word.

She sat up and got slowly to her feet, not looking forward to the long climb to her bedroom.

" Blair," A soft voice called from the doorway. " Do you have a minute ?" Lily asked stepping into the room.

Blair sat back down. " Sure." She allowed, though she didn't really want to. She wasn't sure what Lily wanted to talk about but she had a good idea and she absolutely didn't want to talk about any of it.

Lily came to sit beside her on the sofa and turned her body towards her, crossing her legs elegantly.

" How are things between you and Chuck ?" She asked without preamble.

Blair sighed helplessly. " Not good and I'm not sure how to fix it."

Lily watched her in silence for a few long moments. " How can I help ?"

" I don't think there's really anything you can do." Blair admitted.

" I can listen." Lily smiled. " Maybe you can tell me what exactly happened between the two of you."

Blair shook her head and frowned. " I don't really know what happened between us. After Eve..." She let the rest of the sentence trail off, not sure how to finish it.

" I know." Lilly patted her hand in a gesture of understanding. " Has it been better since she's been home ?"

Blair made a face. " We haven't been openly hostile to each other in the last few hours. I guess that's something anyway."

A new voice caused them both to turn their attention towards the doorway. " Am I interrupting ?" Serena asked, gliding into the room without waiting for either of them to object.

" We were just talking." Lily smiled at her.

Serena came to the coffee table in front of both of them, gathering her flowing white skirt in one hand and sat down squarely in the middle of it, crossing her legs Indian style. " What were you talking about?"

" My marriage and what a complete disaster I've made of it." Blair sighed wanting desperately to point out all the other perfectly comfortable pieces of furniture scattered around the room but resisting the urge. Serena was who she was and she guessed by now there was nothing she could do to turn her into a proper young lady, though she had spent most of her childhood pursuing that goal.

" Why do you say that ?" Lily asked, turning to her sharply. " Why are you blaming yourself ?"

Blair blanched and looked away. " You don't know. I thought Chuck would have filled you in on all the gory details. I'm surprised there wasn't a Gossip Girl blast complete with pictures."

" What don't we know ? What did you do ?" Serena asked leaning closer in concern.

Blair took a deep breath before barreling forward. This was Chuck's family. His step sister and his mother for all practical purposes. These people cared about him and sister and mother almost always trumped best friend where loyalty was concerned. " I cheated."

" What ?" Serena demanded. " With who ?" There was more concern there now and Blair immediately understood why. " No, not Nate. I wouldn't do that. Not to either of you."

" I can't imagine you doing it at all." Lily told her, but there wasn't really anger in her voice. Blair couldn't quite decide what it was, but it wasn't anger.

" My therapist. The one I've been seeing since this whole thing with Eve."

" You had sex with your therapist ?" Serena asked.

" More importantly, your therapist had sex with you ?" Lily interjected.

" It seems so." Blair nodded.

Lily shifted, there was the anger now, she could see it in her face and Blair shrank back from it. But her next words surprised her. " Have you reported him ?"

" Reported him to who ?" Blair asked her.

" Blair, the man was your doctor, your therapist in fact. He took advantage of you." Lily explained gently.

Blair shook her head. " It wasn't like that. Or least I don't think it was. We were talking about Chuck and how he was never home. We started talking about how I felt like I lost both of them the night Eve was taken and then I don't know..." She trailed off.

" What do you mean you don't know ?" Serena asked, sitting up further still.

" It's all a little fuzzy actually. I keep trying to remember how we went from sitting right here where we are to my bedroom, but it gets muffled somehow." Blair admitted.

" Blair, that man took advantage of you. From the sounds of it, he may have even drugged you." Lily announced dramatically. " You have to report him to the medical board. He shouldn't be allowed to practice."

" Drugged me ? He didn't drug me. I didn't take anything that day other than the things he gave me when I first started seeing him." Blair protested.

" He prescribed you drugs ?" Serena asked. " What drugs ?"

Blair hesitated suddenly feeling enormously stupid. " I never got a prescription from him. I just gave me the bottles and he filled them himself. He said they were an antidepressant and something to help me sleep."

" Oh, Blair." Lily said. " If he's just a therapist, he can't legal prescribe you drugs. He doesn't have a license for that. Only a medical doctor or a psychiatrist can do that."

Blair put her hands over her face and did her best to hold back the tears that were threaten to fall again. " I know that. I should know that. God, I feel so stupid."

Serena slid to the edge of the table and grabbed her hands, pulling them from her face. " No, don't feel stupid. You have been through so much in the last six months. We should have been keeping a better eye on you. This isn't your fault, B."

" Do not take another one of those pills." Lily told her. " In fact, I'll have Dorota give me the bottles and first thing in the morning I'm going to the police station and telling them everything."

" Great and approximately twenty minutes later the entire East side will know what a complete, helpless idiot I am." Blair moaned.

" You know, this almost constitutes rapes." Lily eyed her. " If he did this to you, he may be doing it to other women, too. You can't not report this."

" Who's going to believe me ?" Blair asked. " It'll be my word against his."

" Except that we also have these pills he gave you."

" Flunitrazapam." Chuck's voice rang out from the doorway. " It's a generic form of Rohypnal." He sauntered the rest of the way into the room. " You don't need to go to the station in the morning. I took a few of those pills yesterday and had my friend at the station find out what they were. Dorota was worried about them because there wasn't a label on the bottle so she gave me a couple."

" Oh, my God !" Lily exclaimed. " When is it going to end for the two of you ?"

" I think it may all be connected to the same thing, actually." Chuck announced. " I'm not sure yet. But I have some suspicions."

" What kind of suspicions ? What are you talking about ?" Blair asked, turning so she could see him better.

He shook his head. " I'm not ready to say anything yet. Give me a few days. I'll get to the bottom of this. Mike is looking into it for me." He shifted and came to stand in front of her. " Eve was out before I even put her down and Dorota has taken up a post in her room. I think she's planning to sleep in the rocking chair. I think I'll head up myself."

" You're staying here ?" Blair asked, turning even further.

" If you don't have a problem with that. I don't want to be that far from her yet." He admitted.

" Of course I don't have a problem with that. This is your home, too. You're welcome here as long as you like." Blair told him, trying to contain her smile. He was being so nice. She couldn't help but wonder if it was just a show because his family was there.

" Good. Then I'll say goodnight." He came around the sofa and leaned in to kiss Lily on the cheek.

" I'm so proud of you, Charles. I can't believe you really found her." She told him.

Serena got up before he could get too far away and hugged him ferociously. " Thank you for bringing her home. You did good, Chuck."

He chuckled and hugged her back just as tightly. " Thank you. I told you I would."

He let her go and gave Blair a look that she couldn't quite interrupt. " Dorota has determined that we both need a good night's sleep so she insists on getting Eve if she should wake up. So you can sleep peacefully tonight."

" Thank you." Blair smiled at him tentatively. "Goodnight. I'll see you in the morning."

" Are you going to actually eat breakfast ?" he asked, eying her carefully.

" I'm going to try." She assured him. " You have my word."

" Then I'll make sure Cook makes all your favorites." He answered with a nod before leaving the room.

Lily and Serena were gone ten minutes later and Blair was left to herself for the first time since everything had changed.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and glanced up the long flight, mentally preparing herself for the journey. The terrible tiredness was back again but it was different this time. It wasn't as impossible to fight as it had been recently and she realized it was because she hadn't taken her pills. An acute sense of embarrassment nearly overcame her. How could she be so stupid ? It was in that moment that she realized exactly how much she had changed. People didn't trick the old Blair like that. She was shrewd and wise and could take care of herself. There was no need for someone to watch out for the old Blair. The old Blair was the duper, not the dupee.

When had she become a helpless weakling that fell for anything and wasn't smart enough to look out for herself ? When had she fallen so completely apart ? It was no wonder Chuck didn't love her anymore. There was barely anything left of herself. It was humiliating and while she had dealt with humiliating before, this seemed different somehow, worse. It was one thing to make a fool out of herself. She had become a champion at that. But to have someone else make a fool out of her hurt so much more.

She shook her head to clear the thoughts away and started up the staircase. At the top, she stopped off in the bedroom to slip out of her shoes and grab her robe. A nice, long, hot shower sounded better than it had in a long time.

Stepping across the hall, she opened the door and stopped short.

Chuck was standing at the mirror, just finishing brushing his teeth wearing nothing but a fluffy white towel wrapped low on his narrow hips. The dampness of his skin glistened over his shoulders and chest. His hair was wet, smoothed back from his forward. He turned his eyes towards her as he replaced his toothbrush in its holder.

" I was just finishing up." He said in his famous low, throaty voice.

" I'll just use the other bathroom." She said, stepping back out of the doorway.

He stepped forward slowly and she halted, hypnotized by the way he moved towards her.

" You don't have to go." He answered. " Like I said, I'm all done here."

Her fingers twitched where they rested at her sides. She wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and pull him into her, but she wasn't sure how he would react. So she stopped herself and continued to watch him.

He stepped closer still, closely to remaining distance between them. Her breath stopped in her chest, too afraid to move even that much, afraid that it would break whatever spell he was under and cause him to turn and run from her. She so badly wanted to feel him against her. It had been so long. She felt like she was starving and he was a delicious plate of food she wasn't allowed to touch.

Then he moved again and she suddenly found herself pressed against the doorjamb, trapped between him and it. His chest pushed into hers making breathing impossible. His face was inches away, less than that, centimeters, really. She could feel his breath on her cheeks and his lips nearly brushed her when his tongue snaked out to wet them.

But he stopped and it was infuriating. He just stood there looking down at her, his eyes locked on her own lips while the whole world paused around them.

Then just as suddenly as it started, he was gone, brushing past her as he left the room.

" Chuck." She called after him and it caused him to pause there right outside the guest room door.

" I'm sorry, Blair." He shook his head. " I shouldn't have done that."

Then he turned the knob and darted into the room, closing the door firmly behind him.


	15. The Music of the Night

He woke with a start and glanced around the darken space, for a moment not knowing where exactly he was. It wasn't something he was completely unfamiliar with, but it hadn't happen in so long the memories of his youthful indiscretions were vague now and hard to remember.

Sitting up on the side of the bed, Chuck Bass stretched and took a deep breath trying to figure out what had woken him. A glance at the clock showed it was well past midnight, easing up on two actually. He hadn't been asleep an hour. His mind flew back to the last thing he remember before drifting off.

Blair, standing in the bathroom doorway, looking tired and tousled and almost too good to resist. It wasn't fair. He shouldn't have let himself get carried away by the sight of her like that. He couldn't play with her emotions that way. She had been through too much. He wouldn't allow himself to confuse her even more, regardless of how confused he was. It was his job to keep his emotions in check. She wasn't capable of it right now.

She wasn't capable of much right now, in fact and that thought killed him. His strong, independent Blair, always so determined, so capable. He believed that there was nothing she couldn't overcome.

Now it seemed that any little thing might break her completely, if it hadn't already. She wasn't the same and he didn't know if she would ever be the same again.

Lily kept telling him that he was the one that could help her find herself again. But could he ? He wasn't sure he had enough left inside him to take on the task of picking Blair up and putting her back on her feet.

Then an overwhelming sense of guilt nearly took his breath away. He remembered suddenly the way she had held him, asked nothing of him, just held him, after his father died. He remembered why he had found the strength to pick himself up after all that. It was her. She had been his rock and now that it was his turn, he was turning her away.

It was so typical of him, he thought with a renewed sense of self loathing. He had thought he put his selfishness behind him, but apparently it wasn't gone, just buried. And here it was raging right back to the surface the minute things went wrong.

He didn't deserve her. He always knew that.

Getting to his feet, he took a moment to stretch before crossing to the bedroom door.

He needed a drink and there was no way he was getting any sleep anyway.

The apartment was eerily quiet as he started down the hall. It had been a while since he'd slept here it felt ridiculously unfamiliar and strange now. Of course he couldn't resist the urge to peek his head into the room across the hall and of course, Dorota hadn't been able to resist her own urge either. He smiled as he spied the rotund maid sitting in the rocking chair with his daughter sleeping peacefully in her arms. He hadn't figure Eve would last too long in the crib.

Ducking out before either of them could be disturbed, he continued on, down the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible.

Once at the bottom, he paused for a moment, contemplating going to the kitchen to find a snack. But he decided he wasn't really hungry enough to cook for himself, so he turned and headed for the great room, where the bar was.

He had his scotch poured and was taking his first drink when something stirred from the sofa and he spun around to find it.

" It isn't helping." She announced holding up her own glass. " This is my second and I still can't sleep."

" Maybe, it will for me. I'm a little more experienced in this area." He told her as he took another drink.

She nodded. " Even more reason for it to work better for me."

He moved across the room and stopped at the spot on the sofa beside her, suddenly very aware of his wife's attire. She wore a simple gown of a beautiful champagne color that was perfect for her. It glowed against the pallor of her flawless skin and set off the color of both her chocolate brown curls and chestnut colored eyes impeccably.

" Do you mind if I join you or is this a private party ?" He asked indicating the spot on the sofa where her feet were currently resting. .

" No," She sat up, pulling her feet under her and adjusted thin strap on her shoulder. " Of course you're welcome."

He noticed that her posture there, resting on the side her elbows on the arm of the sofa, feet tucked under her, but next to him, took her away from him, as if she were purposely keeping away.

He couldn't blame her, of course. He had just rejected her once again only a few hours before. It seemed all he'd done lately was reject her. How many times could he kick her in the teeth before she stopped trying at all ? He guessed from the way she was holding herself, that it was exactly how many times he had done it to her. Of course, he couldn't possibly count that high. There had been far too many times. There was a time, a time he truly regretted more than anything he'd ever done, when it was all he did. A time when he couldn't imagine himself ever being happy, couldn't wrap his mind around the idea that anyone, especially someone like Blair, could ever love him.

" You seem very contemplative." She observed suddenly, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.

" It's been a long day." He answered.

She laughed lightly and the sound was anything but humorous. " It's been a long year." She corrected him.

He raised his glass and chuckled. " I'll drink to that."

" Do you think you might want to move back in, you know, so you don't have to be so far away from Eve ?" She asked after another silence.

" I was thinking about it." He nodded. " If it isn't a problem for you, that is ?"

She shook her head. " No, I told you this is your home, too, Chuck. You're welcome here, anytime."

He shrugged. " I appreciate that."

" So what's keeping you awake ?" She asked, then turned to look at him. " Unless you don't want to talk about it."

He sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees and dangling the glass between them. " I don't really know. I was having a very pleasant dream about all the ways I planned to make our Dr. Hearst suffer, and suddenly I was awake."

" Please, Chuck, let the police handle it. I just want all this to be over." She said quietly.

He sighed. " I will. I won't risk doing anything that might take me away from Eve again." Then he chuckled lightly. " Doesn't mean I can't dream."

She took another drink, throwing back the remainder of the glass in one solid gulp. Then she got to her feet and headed over to the bar to pour another one. As she past him, he caught a whiff of her perfume and it sent his senses reeling.

The next thing he knew he was on his feet as well, following along behind her like he was helpless to do anything else. The gown clung to her curves invitingly. Her hair bounced around her shoulders, swaying with her hips as she moved.

She finished pouring her drink and turned, oblivious to the fact that he was right behind her. And then she was so close, too close. His hands ached to feel her milky skin under them. His chest pounded so hard he thought for sure he could hear it, too. And a sheen of sweat had broken out across his top lip. In an instant she had turned him back into the man he used to be. The man that couldn't imagine a life without her in it, the man that never wanted to be away from her side, the man that loved her more than he ever imagined he could love anyone.

She gulped at their sudden closeness. He watched her throat move with the reaction and it was hypnotizing.

" I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were there." She mumbled quietly, sending her breath across his cheek. And the memory of the way she tasted flooded through his brain, blocking out every other thought.

" Blair," He groaned a moment before he closed the distance left between them and pulled her into his arms.

Then she was there again, her lips firm, yet yielding under his as he savored the flavor of her on his tongue.

Her arms slide around his shoulder, holding him against her as if she were afraid he would turn and run away any second.

And she might have been right. It was wrong. He knew it. He felt like he was taking advantage of her and the thought killed him, but he was helpless. He needed her, had waited too long to feel her in his arms again. There was no way he could back away from her now.

" God, I've missed you." He mumbled as his lips left her mouth and began to taste the skin of her throat.

" Chuck," She groaned. It was a low throaty sound that drove him even further over the edge of insanity.

He prayed to God that she would stop him, tell him she wasn't ready, anything to make him think about what he was really doing. But she did none of that. Instead she pulled him closer, tangled her hands in his hair and angled her body so that it was completely flush against his. And the little moans she was making as he moved his lips from hers and down the column of her throat told him she had no intention of stopping this.

He shifted, pulling away for her, but only long enough to heft her into his arms. He barely registered the fact that they were moving as his mouth found hers again. He couldn't seem to get enough of her taste and he was grateful that his feet apparently knew where they were going. He was moving on instinct now, letting his body lead them. He was too preoccupied with her to pay it much mind.

All he knew was that he needed her, wanted her like he'd never wanted her before. It was overwhelming, this all-consuming desire that had started in the pit of his stomach earlier in the bathroom. Now it had completely taken him over, driving him forward on its own volition.

She gasped in surprise as he jostled her slightly as they ascended the stairs.

Her tiny fingers were struggling with the buttons of his shirt and he wished his hands were free to help her. He wanted to feel her touching him. He needed her hands on his body. He craved the warmth of her touch, his Blair always so heated and passionate. She abandoned her efforts when she reached as far as she could managed while cradled to his chest and slid her hand under the material instead, letting her fingers skirt over the muscles of his chest. He groaned out loud at the sensation. It felt like she was burning him.

Finally they made it to their bedroom. Once inside, he closed the door with his foot before proceeding to the bed where he sat her down on the edge.

She looked up at him, blinking those huge, brown orbs questioningly as he pulled away from her completely.

It was only because he had enough presence of mind to remember they weren't alone in the house. He went to the door and clicked the lock into place quietly before turning back to her.

She was standing by the bed now and he was totally hypnotized by the way she was looking at him. Then her hands came up to the straps of her gown and she pulled them from her shoulders, letting the material fall to the floor in a pool at her feet.

He moved slowly, stalking towards her like a predator on the hunt. His eyes never left hers as he continued his advance. Once he was close enough, he raised his hand and let the backs of his fingers brush over the mound of her breast. It was a slow movement, tantalizingly, lingeringly slow. He continued his path, trailing down her side, over the curve of her hip and down the side of her thigh. She was quivering under his touch, he could feel the goosebumps breaking out over her skin. It had been a long time since he had made her quiver and he relished the feeling it gave him. It was beyond erotic knowing he could illicit that response from his woman. Powerfully intoxicating, yet humbling because he knew in a heartbeat she could turn the tables and make him the one that was quivering uncontrollably.

She leaned into him and tangled her hand in his hair, pulling his mouth back to hers. Her kiss was full of fire and passion and everything that reminded him of the old Blair. It gave him hope to know that she wasn't completely gone after all. And this was how he could he help her find herself again. This is how he could make her his again.

He grabbed her into him a touch roughly and she cried out, but there was nothing fearful or angry in the sound. It was nearly a growl, egging him on instead of giving him pause.

" Blair," He whispered into her ear as she began to pull them both towards the bed. It was the last of his resolve, his last ditch effort to stop this. He thought it should feel wrong, giving her hope when he wasn't sure any existed anymore. " Are you sure we should do this ?"

She didn't answer him, refusing to even give the question a response. Instead she grabbed the sides of her shirt and yanked him into her. He fell forward in a rush, only managing to get his hands in place in time to keep from crushing her. She was pulling at his shirt again. And he helped her this time, very nearly ripping it from his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor behind them. His pajama bottoms were the next to go in one swift fluid motion.

Then he was against her again. And a moment later he was sinking into her.

And in the next instant she was slipping away. He did everything he could to hold on to her, to keep her in his arms. But she was fading away faster than he could grab her, like mist slipping through his fingers.

He woke suddenly with a curse on his lips, drenched in sweat and trembling almost uncontrollably.

Sitting up, he swung his feet over the side of the bed and lowed his head to his hands. " Fuck." He muttered to the empty room.


	16. Hostile takeover

" Chuck,"

He jumped at the sound of his name and nearly dropped the delicate China cup he was holding.

" What's wrong with you ?" Blair asked from her place across the table from him where she was feeding Eve and trying to sneak a few bites of her own breakfast at the same time. " You've been so jumpy all morning."

He took a drink and rubbed his eyes tiredly. " I didn't sleep every well last night."

She spooned another bite of something mushy into Eve's mouth. She was actually getting pretty good at getting more of the food into the baby than on her, he thought as he watched her.

" I hope it wasn't the bed." She commented idly.

" No, I just have a lot on my mind." He answered.

He shifted in his chair and continued to watch her. She seemed different this morning. He hasn't sure what had caused the change, but it was there. It probably wasn't even outwardly apparent to anyone else, but he knew her. He knew her better than anyone else in the world. It was a difference in the set of her shoulders, the way she held herself, the look in her eyes. Although he was almost sure the look in her eyes was more about being off the bogus medicine she had been taken. But more than any of that, it looked like maybe she was happy.

" Do you have plans for the day ?" She asked, setting the spoon aside.

He picked up his cup again and drained the last of its contents. " I was thinking about checking in with the office. What are your plans ?"

" Eve and I are going shopping first." She announced. " Then we're going to have lunch with both our mothers and my mother's going away party is tonight. So we'll spend the afternoon at the spa getting ready for that."

He laughed. " You're taking a six month old to a spa ?"

" Actually I was sort of hoping that her father would want to spend the afternoon with her," She looked across the table from him and batted her eyelashes. " That is if he doesn't have any other plans."

He got up and refilled his coffee cup, then unthinkingly, he stopped at her chair and laid an easy kiss to the top of her head. He stilled the minute his lips touched her hair and she went utterly quiet as well.

It was a habit, a move he would have made four months ago without even thinking twice about it. It had all been so familiar, the easy banter over breakfast and a cup of coffee, the back and forth discussion about their daily plans. It was all so mundane, so commonplace and he hadn't even thought about the fact that everything had changed between them.

Straightening, he cleared his throat and tried desperately to think of something to say. She wasn't helping him at all. Her back was arrow straight and she was completely rigid, totally unmoving.

" I'm sorry." He mumbled in way of an apology. " I just wasn't thinking."

" I understand." She said quietly.

" Of course I'll take her for the afternoon." He said, stepping to his daughter and taking her from her chair. " I'll get her cleaned up before I go. It'll give you time to get ready."

" Thank you." She answered, still so quietly he almost missed it.

He left with Eve before she had a chance to say anything else.

" So how is everything at home ?" Eleanor asked as she shifted her granddaughter in her arms.

Blair nodded. " It's been a little tense, but we'll figure it out."

" What exactly are you figuring out ?" Lily asked. " I mean, are you separated, are you trying to wok on it ?"

Blair grabbed her glass of water from the table in front of her and took a long drink. " I'm not sure. We haven't really talked about it."

Eleanor tsked, brushing her off with a wave of her hand. " I don't see the problem, now that Eve is home."

" There's more to this than that, Mother." Blair answered, fighting to keep from squirming.

" I thought everything would work itself out after everything last night." Lily commented, casting her eyes towards Eleanor, obviously not sure how much she had been told.

Blair began pushing her food around on her plate. " Apparently there's more to it than that, too."

" What more ? I don't understand." Eleanor said as she feed a bit of food to her Eve.

Blair sat her fork down and straightened her shoulders. " He thinks I gave up on Eve and..." She took a deep breath to finish the sentence. " He's right. I did give up on ever finding her again."

Lily reached over and took her hand as Eleanor made a tight noise low in her throat. " You didn't give up on her, you were trying to move on. There isn't anything wrong with that. You were just trying to survive." She said in that lofty, superior voice she always used when she disapproved of the conversation.

" Chuck never gave up." Another deep breath and a glance at her watch. She wanted nothing more than to escape from the restaurant and not have to go through anymore of the inquisition. " And because of that, Eve is sitting in your lap."

Lily gave her a tight smile. " That may be true. But, Sweetheart, it could have turned out so much differently."

" But it didn't. He was right. I was wrong and he blames me for not being right there beside him cheering him on. I can't change that." She answered a bit harsher than she meant to. " And I have no idea how to make it up to him."

Lily squeezed her hand. " Would you like me to talk to him ?"

Blair sat her napkin aside after dabbing the corners of her mouth. Then she got to her feet and reach out for her daughter. Once she had her secured on her hip and was pulling the diaper bag onto her other arm, she turned and gave both older women a smile. " I don't really think it will do much good at this point. You know Chuck. Once he get something in his head, changing his mind is as easy as changing the weather." Her smile grew tighter as she leaned in to kiss both of them on the cheek. " I'll work it out." She promised Lily. Then she went to her mother. " I'll see you this evening. Please try not to worry about us. You should be thinking of all the wonderful times you'll have in Paris with Cyrus."

Then she turned on her heel and left them both.

" Chuck !" Blair yelled as she stepped off the elevator and struggled with trying to drag the stroller in with one hand and still keep the baby balanced on her other hip. " Are you home ?"

The only answer she got was Dorota bustling in from the kitchen and hurrying to help her with the stroller.

" Mr. Chuck is in his office. He's been in there all morning." The maid told her as she folded the stroller and stashed it in the hall closet out of the way.

Once she was finished, Blair handed Eve off to her and asked her if she would mind changing her and putting her down for a nap.

Dorota nodded and looked down into the baby's face. " Of course I not mind." She muttered as if wondering why Blair had even bothered asking.

Blair watched them go off in search of a bottle before turning down the hall and heading for Chuck's closed office door.

She knocked softly and waited until she heard the muted, ' come in' from the other side before turning the knob and stepping inside.

What she found there made her pause with her hand still on the knob.

Chuck was at his desk, his hair rumpled as if he'd been pulling his hands through it, his tie was slacken as if he'd been tugging at it and his hands were folded, white knuckled in front of him.

" What's happened ?" She asked, stepping inside and closing the door behind her.

" Someone is trying to buy out my company." He spat at the computer monitor in front of him. " I'll give you three guess as to who."

" Jack." She answered without needing the other two.

Chuck grimaced at hearing the name. She hadn't noticed there was anyone else in the room until she saw them shift in the high backed chair sitting in front of the desk.

Blair made her way around its twin and sat down.

" What are we going to do ?" She asked, casting a glance at the man sitting beside her.

Andrew Jacobs was one of the board of directors of Bass Industries. She only barely recognized him. She hadn't seen the man more than a handful of times when she'd visited Chuck at work or there was a party for the company. Besides that, he looked different than he had in their other encounters. His hair was thinner, as was his slight body. Easily in his late sixties if not older, he wore thick glasses sitting low on his nose and a brown suit that tried its best to fit his scarecrow form.

" We will be having a shareholders meeting." He announced with what was clearly more confidence than he was feeling. The look in his eyes said they were already defeated.

" A shareholder's meeting ?" She asked with raised eyebrows.

" Mr. Jacobs feels that the reason the stocks are selling so easily is that most of the shareholders feel like I'm not in control of the company the way I used to be. They feel like it isn't a priority for me any more." Chuck explained. " We are going to try to change their minds."

" How ? What can I do to help ?" She offered without hesitating. If Chuck needed her, there was no way she would let him down again.

" Actually I do need you." He told her, sitting up a little straighter. His face had taken on a hard look as if what he was about to say wasn't easy for him. " I need you and Eve at the meeting with me. If I can show the shareholders that my family problems have been resolved and I have time to dedicate to the company now, it'll go a long way in convincing them."

" Of course we'll be there." She nodded. " I'll do whatever I can to help."

" Well, we are certainly glad to hear that." The older said, getting to his feet stiffly. " I'll see you both Friday."

Chuck stood to see him out, but the old man waved him off and told him he could manage on his own. They both sat and watched as he shuffled his way out of the room and closed the door behind him.

" Friday ?" Blair said once the door was closed. " That's in two days. How bad is this ?"

Chuck sat up again and took his cup of coffee from the corner of the desk. " Someone out there owns a very large chunk of my company and they're hiding behind a mirage of dummy corporations and other legal tricks to keep them anonymous. I don't like that. Neither do the other board members that I can still count as loyal."

" So you can't prove it's Jack. Just like we can't prove that he was behind Eve's kidnapping." She answered sagely.

" Exactly." He nodded. " I appreciate you agreeing to come to the meeting. I know these things aren't usually to your liking."

" Of course." She said, going to the coffee maker in the corner of the room and pouring herself a cup. Then she came back to her chair and watched him watching her for a moment.

The moment stretched out longer than either of them was comfortable with and she finally shifted under his scrutinizing gaze. " What ?"

He cleared his throat and physically shook his head as if to clear away whatever thoughts he was dwelling on. " I wanted to apologize for this morning at breakfast." He began and she tried to stop him, to tell him it was okay, but he held up his hand at her protest. " It was out of line. I stepped over a boundary and I'm sorry."

" It's not like you did it on purpose, Chuck. It was an instinct." She assured him. " Six months ago neither of us would have even taken notice of it."

" It's not six months ago." He announced. " Things have changed and I let myself forget that. You invited me into your home and I overstepped by bounds. It won't happen again. I just got caught up in everything and forgot myself."

" The boundaries were set up by you, Chuck. You don't have to apologize to me for breaking them. You know where I stand." She told him, setting her cup aside and leaning forward in her chair.

" No, I guess I really don't." He informed her. " Where exactly do you stand in all this, Blair ? What are we doing here ?"

She chuckled sardonically. " My mother just asked me the same question and I had no idea what to tell her." She got up from her chair and came around the desk, stopping beside his chair and leaning against the desk. " You tell me, this was all your idea. What are we doing here, Chuck ?"

His eyes traveled up her leg where it was resting against the desk and she realized that the shortness of her black Hounds tooth skirt was made more so because of her position. Her thigh was bare almost to her hip and his eyes were fixated on her as if he were hypnotized. It hadn't been intentional. She hadn't come around the desk intending to try to seduce him. But the look in his eyes made her very glad she'd made the move. It had been a long time since he looked at her like that.

He shifted, dragging his eyes up to her face and blinking rapidly. " I don't know either. Maybe I just need some time." He answered after wetting his dry lips with his tongue.

" No," She replied, raising up from the desk. " I can't do this, not after everything." She stormed back around the desk and turned back to him again. " I can't just sit around and wait for you to decide whether you still want me or not."

He was on his feet in a flash and before she realized what was happening, his hand was tangled in her hair and his lips were on hers. His tongue was brushing over her bottom lip and she opened her mouth without hesistating to give him access. His other hand was at the small of her back holding her tightly against him.

Her hands came to his shoulders, clutching at the dark purple shirt he wore almost desperately.

When he finally pulled away and looked down at her it was with a look she hadn't seen in a very long time. " This has nothing to do with not wanting you. It never has."

He abruptly let her go and retreated quickly out of her personal space. He began to pace as he ripped his hand through his hair. She watched him silently, waiting to see what he was going to do next.

" Then what is this about ?" She asked at last when it appeared he had no intention of saying anything else.

He stopped suddenly and turned to look at her. " I don't know anymore." he admitted.

" Then let's stop this. We don't have to do this anymore." She tried to reason with him. " I love you. I know you still love me."

His eyes narrowed. " You want to just forget everything and go back to the way it was before ?"

" Would that be so hard ?" She asked in frustration.

" I can't do that." He replied just as simply.

" Why not ? Why can't you just forgive me ?" Her voice was raising in volume now. She hadn't meant to start yelling. She knew very well that yelling wasn't going to accomplish anything. " I've already told you how sorry I am." She began again, lower this time. " What do I have to do ? Do you want me to beg ?"

" Of course not." He shook his head quickly.

" Then what ?"

" Can you at least tell me what you can't forgive me for ? I know I cheated on you." She dropped her eyes to the floor at her feet. " And I swear to you, you can't hate me for that near as much as I hate myself."

He stepped towards her but hesitated before closing the distance. " I'm not angry about that and you shouldn't be either. Blair, he used you. He manipulated you. All my anger over that incident rests soley on the doctor's shoulders, not yours."

She dropped her arms to the sides and balled her hands into fists. " Then what ? Why are you so angry at me ?"

He turned away from her and began to pace again. Finally he stopped and went back to his desk, flopping down in the chair and causing it roll backwards with his weight. " I don't know."

She thought about running out of the room and trying to forget the entire argument had ever happened. He was giving her his closed off look, a look that he used at times when there was nothing to be said or done to make him feel any better. Normally, those were the times when she let him have his space. Normally it meant that there was something he needed to work through all on his own and she couldn't help him. Normally, he would come to her later, kiss her and tell her everything was alright again. But this wasn't normal. And she was so tired of fighting with him. She knew that running wouldn't change anything. If she was going to change anything, she'd have to make a move.

She came to him and knelt down in front of him, resting her hands on his thighs. Blinking up at him under a veil of long lashes, she caught his eyes and held them with her in a steady gaze. " We don't have to do this anymore. We don't have to be miserable anymore. Eve is back where she belongs and you and I can move past this whole thing and start again." She tried to reason with him. " Isn't that what you want ?"

He sighed and looked away from her. " I don't know."

She almost reeled back from him. She felt as if she'd been kicked. How could he not want that ? How could he not be sure of that at least ? " Chuck ?" She whispered, her voice nearly breaking with emotion.

" We can't go back to the way it was before." He said quietly. " We just can't. We aren't the same people anymore. You've changed. I've changed. So much is different."

She sat back on her heels, letting her hands slid to his knees. " Then we don't go back. We go forward. But whatever we do, tell me that we'll do it together."

He shook his head. " I need time to think."

" If you can honestly tell me this is about more than cheating, then you've had plenty of time to think. You've had months." She answered. She got to her feet and moved to the door. " If you still haven't figured anything out, then maybe there just anything to figure out anymore."

She left before he had a chance to tell her she was right.


	17. Victorla

**A/N : Let me just say that I am so sorry for going so long without an update. I've been off line until just recently. So now I'm back with a nice long update and just know that I don't plan on going away again, not that I planned it last time, but I'll do my best to keep updating regularly now. Here's a nice long one for you. Consider it my way of apologizing for my absense. enjoy. **

Chuck Bass sat at his desk staring a hole in the door Blair had just walked through. He could still hear the echoes of it slamming shut in his mind. Maybe she was right. Maybe there wasn't anything left to fight about. Maybe it was over.

He tried to wrap his mind around the concept and found it too hard to contemplate. Life without Blair. It sounded so silly even in his mind.

His dream came back to him in blazing detail as well as the feel of her in his arms only moments before. He could still taste her on his lips. He shouldn't have done it. He had no business playing with her emotions like that. It wasn't fair. Neither was this sort of limbo he had imposed upon them. Nothing about any of this was fair. He couldn't expect her to wait around forever while he tried to suss out how he still felt about her.

A sudden knock on the door brought his attention back to the present and he called a quick, come in, in its direction.

Dorota stepped in and gave him an apologetic smile. " Miss Blair send me to ask if you were coming to her mother's going away party tonight." She told him.

" Let Miss Blair know that I'll be there." He nodded, getting stiffly to his feet and stretching.

Dorota bowed her head slightly and left without another word.

A party. He was so not in the mood for a party. He wasn't sure what he was in the mood for but it certainly wasn't a party. Still Eleanor and Cyrus would be leaving to move to Paris the next day. He had no idea when he'd see them again and he wanted to tell them good bye. They had become as much a part of his family as Lily and Serena and even Rufus were.

It still amazed him that, where there was once only himself and Bart, now stood a multitude of people that he really cared about. From Dorota to Eric, his step brother, the list of his family members was now a long and distinguished one. What amazed him even more was that they all considered him family as well. He and Eleanor had had a rather rocky start, and he certainly couldn't blame her for that. No parent in their right mind would want their daughter dating the old Chuck Bass. But they had something of a truce now. It didn't take long after Eleanor realized that Chuck really did love her daughter. But what really cinched the relationship was when she saw how much Blair loved Chuck in return. They were good for each other, or they had been in the past. He wasn't so sure anymore.

Every time he thought about touching Blair lately there was an underlying sense of guilt that went along with his lusty thoughts. He wasn't sure what exactly made him feel that way. Was it that he felt like she was too vulnerable now and he was taking advantage of her ? Or was it some warped kind of guilt, like touching the new Blair was somehow betraying the old one ?

He had no answers and his head ached from trying to formulate them.

He ripped his hand through his hair and took off out the door and up the stairs to get ready for the party that he didn't want to attend.

Serena Van Der Woodsen had had enough. It was ridiculous. She had spent half the night watching Chuck eying Blair from across the room and the other half watching Blair watching Chuck. The tension between them was so heavy it was nearly visible. She had to do something about it. There was no way she was going to be able to enjoy the rest of her evening if she didn't at least try to get the two idiots to talk to one another.

" Where are you going ?" Her fiance, Nate asked as she pulled away from him.

" I'm going to try to put a stop to this. I've had enough." She answered as she tried to flounce away.

He stopped her with a hand on her arm. " Let them be, Serena. They'll work it out in their own time and in their own way. This isn't high school anymore." He advised her sagely.

" Tell them that. They're the ones acting like children." She retorted, pulling her arm free. " Now why don't you be a good best man and go talk to Chuck while I talk to Blair."

He smirked at her smugly. " I wasn't his best man."

She put her hands on her hips and huffed. He was right. She had forgotten. Eric had stood up with Chuck at the wedding, not Nate. " Then go be a good best friend."

He narrowed his eyes at her. " I don't think its a good idea."

" He's miserable. She's miserable. They are always miserable when they aren't together. Everyone knows that but them. It's time we did something about it." She tried to reason with him.

" And you think talking to them is going to make a difference ? Your mother has already tried that and if Chuck wouldn't listen to Lily, it's highly doubtful he'll listen to me." He continued to argue.

" Then make him listen." She snapped.

He got up from his seat on the sofa and took her hand in his. " Do you want to know what is really going on ?" He asked her.

She rolled her eyes at him and replaced her hands on her hips. " Of course I do, that's why I'm going to talk to them."

" They aren't going to tell you, but I may have some answers and you aren't going to like them." He sighed.

" Well," She prompted, " And don't tell me this has anything to do with whole doctor thing. I already know about that and Blair says he insists that isn't the problem."

Nate smirked again. " Yeah, he may say that." He muttered. " But no I don't think that's the real problem. It might be a small part of it, but it isn't really the thing he can't get past."

" Then what is ? Please enlighten me with your wisdom." She told him.

" What are we talking about so intently ?" Dan asked as he strolled up to the two of them with his girlfriend Vanessa in tow.

" Nate thinks he knows what's bothering Chuck." Serena told them as they elbowed their way into the conversation.

" Oh, do tell. I just can't wait to hear this." Dan said sarcastically.

Vanessa was being amazingly quiet as she stood by Dan's side with her arm wrapped around his bicep.

" Blair's changed. I know you've seen it. Everyone's seen it." Nate announced. " She isn't herself anymore and she hasn't been in a long time. Something broke in her when Eve was taken and she hasn't been able to fix it."

" Wow, Dr. Phil," Vanessa finally interjected. " That was deep." Then she turned to Dan. " I wish there was something we could do for them." Then she paused. " Wait, why do we care ?"

" They're our friends." Dan told her, then shrugged. " Sort of. Besides, since my father married his step mother, we're practically family."

She snorted. " You know the way everyone seems to be related around here you'd think we were in the Deep South instead of the Upper East Side."

" Blair hasn't changed as much as everyone thinks she has." Serena said, trying to ignore Vanessa.

" Yes," Nate nodded decisively. " She has."

" She's still in there somewhere." Serena insisted. " We just need to figure out how to make him see that she's still the same woman he married."

" Serena," Nate said warningly as he watched the wheels turning in her head. " We aren't going to interfere with this. They will work it out on their own."

She huffed and rolled her eyes at him. " Of course we're going to interfere. It's what we do. I'm not going to sit back and watch them make each other miserable any more."

" But we aren't very good at this." Dan told her. " Blair is the usually the brains behind our operations."

" How will we manage to scheme without the queen to lead us ?" Vanessa said sarcastically.

" Please, stop." Dan told her. " Serena has a point." He nodded his head towards where Chuck was standing alone in the corner of the room sipping at a scotch and looking like he wished he was anywhere but where he was. Then he gestured towards a bewildered looking Blair off in another corner with an expression that nearly mirrored Chuck's. " They look more miserable than we do."

" So what are we going to do ?" Serena asked. " How are we going to make Chuck see that Blair is still there ?"

" Maybe we need to make him remember why he fell in love with her in the first place." Vanessa offered, clearly interested despite herself. " When did this whole Chuck and Blair thing start ?"

" In high school." Nate answered. " He's been in love with her since our junior year of high school."

Serena gave him a sympathetic smile, knowing how much their relationship had hurt him at first. Then her face took on a far away expression. " I used to envy them secretly. Chuck was such a bastard back then. Blair was the only person in the world he acted human towards. She changed him. She hadn't meant to do it. But loving her made him a better person. It made him who he is now and I have to admit, he's a pretty descent person now. I never would have guessed that I'd ever say that. They were so in love. Neither of them saw it, of course. But it was obvious to everyone else."

" Chuck was a piece of work when we were younger." Nate agreed.

" Okay, so what changed ?" Vanessa prompted. " They grew up together. It wasn't like it was love at first sight. Something happened that altered the way they saw each other. Do we know when that happened ?"

" Yeah, what made them go from friends and co-conspirators to a couple ?" Dan said.

Nate and Serena looked at each other, both of their faces thoughtful as they tried to conjure up the memory.

" I don't know." Nate answered after a minute. " I never thought to ask."

Serena shook her head. " It was around the time that Chuck opened Victrola. But I don't think either of them has ever talked about it. At least not to me."

" Me either." Nate confirmed. " And he barely knew Lily then, so I don't think she'd know. I was his only friend."

" Blair and I weren't exactly that friendly at the time. Maybe Dorota would know." Serena suggested.

" Let's find her. She's our best hope at an answer. Nothing happens to Blair that Dorota doesn't know about." Dan said and the four of them took off in search of the maid.

They found her in the kitchen, reluctantly passing Eve off to Eleanor. She didn't look pleased with the prospect. Dorota had become rather selfish where the baby was concerned since her return. It was hard to get the infant out of the over protective woman's arms.

" How have you been ?" Nate asked her diplomatically as they approached her.

" I wonderful now that the baby is back where she belongs. But busy." Dorota answered with a touch of exasperation. Her gaze was following Eve as Eleanor bustled from the room with her. She looked like it was taking everything inside her not to run after them when the door closed behind them.

" We were wondering if you might be able to help us." Serena began.

" I help if I can." Then she surveyed the group surrounding her and her eyes narrowed at each of them in turn. " Is this about Mr. Chuck and Ms. Blair ? Are you planning something ?"

" Of course we are." Vanessa answered a touch sarcastically.

" I don't think that's a good idea. Mr. Chuck and Ms. Blair are having a bad time. We should leave them alone and let them work it out on their own." She said backing away from the group.

" We just want to help them." Serena encouraged.

" You know how miserable they are." Nate added. " We're doing this for them."

Dorota heaved a heavy, unhappy sigh. " How can I help ?"

" Do you remember back when they first got together ?" Serena asked. " Do you know what happened back then ?"

" I know nothing. Ms. Blair didn't say anything at all about Mr. Chuck. I find out on my own." Her heavy accent grew even more so as she tried to remember. " Ms. Blair, she was too happy. I never saw her like that before." She cast a glance at Nate as if to apologize and he nodded at her unspoken gesture. " She just not herself. I knew something was different. So I snoop ! And I find out."

" So you have no idea what happened that changed things between them ?" Dan pushed.

Dorota shook her head. " I don't know."

" Thank you." Serena muttered at her disappointed.

" I no help." Dorota answered mournfully. Then she paused and her eyes lit up suddenly. " Maybe it happened at Mr. Chuck's club. I remember she went to the opening and it was after that everything changed."

" It's a good place to start." Nate told her and took Serena's hand. " Maybe we need to go directly to the source."

" Neither of them seems in the mood for a trip down memory lane." Vanessa argued.

" We need to get them in mood." Dan said.

" How ?" Vanessa asked.

" Well, I think maybe it's time Dan and I spent some time with our buddy. We haven't had much time to catch up in a while. Maybe while we are getting Chuck drunk and weaseling information, you two can do the same with Blair. Then we can compare stories and see what's next."

Serena looked at him doubtfully. " You're going to get Chuck drunk ?"

Nate laughed, knowing that in the past that would have been a feat. " It isn't so hard now. He doesn't drunk that much anymore."

" Alright. I guess I could spend some time with Blair." Vanessa agreed reluctantly.

Dan brushed a kiss to her cheek. " She isn't so bad." Vanessa gave him a disbelieving look. " It'll be over before you know it." He added.

Nate kissed Serena and the four of them took off in search of their various prey.

" You look like you could use a drink." Nate announced when they found Chuck standing off in the corner of his living room watching all the people milling around and looking completely miserable.

" I could use several of them." Chuck answered with a crocked smile. " Humphrey," He nodded in Dan's direction. " It's been a while. How has Brooklyn been treating you ?"

Dan inclined his head in response and smiled back at Chuck. " Not too badly. Eve looks wonderful. I haven't had a chance to tell you how happy I was to hear she was home and safe."

" It's a miracle." Chuck answered. " I can't believe how lucky we were to find her again."

Nate reached up and rested a hand on Chuck's shoulder. " Let's go to your office. We haven't had a chance to catch up in so long."

Chuck nodded and lead them out of the room and down the hallway. He turned to them once they were in his office and offered them both a chair.

" So what is all this about ?" Chuck asked while they were getting comfortable.

" Nothing." Nate shrugged casually. " I just thought we could hang out for a while, just the three of us. You know I've never really liked crowds."

" You're up to something." Chuck answered sagely as he handed them both a glass of his best scotch.

" Old age has made you paranoid." Nate joked, taking his glass.

" No," Chuck answered as he took a seat himself. " Experience has made me paranoid."

" How's business ?" Dan interjected to change the subject.

" Business is awful. Someone is trying to buy out my company." His expression turned weary as he took a deep drink from his glass. " It seems that once I get one part of my life going in the right direction, another part falls apart."

Nate sat forward, suddenly worried about his friend. " Is there anything I can do ?" He offered.

" No, we're working on a plan." Chuck shrugged. " It'll all work out in the end. Somehow it always does."

They sat there for the better part of three hours, talking about anything and everything except Blair. Nate had forgotten how much he missed his friend. It had been far too long since they simply enjoyed each others company. Life had a way of getting in the way it seemed.

The third bottle of scotch sat between them, nearly a third gone. Dan hadn't made it through the first bottle before surrendering to inebriation. It was obvious in the way he seemed to sit bonelessly in his chair, sipping at his glass instead of actually drinking it. His eyes mere slits as they darted lazily back and forth between the two other men.

Nate was fighting against his own drunkenness. Trying to drink Chuck Bass under a table was a task for a master and he was beginning to wonder if he had it in him. Until he noticed the almost imperceptible signs that Chuck was fighting as hard as he was. There was a slight slur to his speech now. His shoulders slumped tiredly against the back of his chair. He wore a casualness that wasn't at all characteristic for the always together Chuck Bass.

" So, tell me about Blair." Nate ventured finally. Dan seemed to sit up a little at the mention of her name.

" What about her ?" Chuck answered.

" You're living here now. Everything seems to be getting back to normal. But it isn't, is it ?" He deduced.

Chuck chuckled quietly. " No, I'm not even sure what normal is anymore."

" What's happening ? Are you separated ? Are you trying to work things out ?" Nate asked.

Chuck drained his glass and poured himself another a touch shakily. " She wants to work it out. And I'm trying. I really am. I'm just not sure how I feel anymore."

Dan sat up completely at hearing that and leaned forward. " Are you saying you don't know if you love her anymore ?"

Chuck shook his head. " I'll always love her. It isn't about loving her. I'm not sure I know how to get past everything that's happened. She's so different now. She's not the woman I married anymore."

Dan's eyes widened in surprise. " Of course she's not. You aren't the man she married either. That's the way it works. People change, they grow. Life happens. Part of being married is growing with the other person."

Nate and Chuck both turned to him in shock. Nate had no idea where the speech had come from. It wasn't typical of Dan to go off into flowery speeches. He shook off his surprise and turned back to Chuck.  
" You say she's changed. How is she different now ?" Nate asked, hoping to steer the subject where he wanted it to go.

" I'm not even sure. I just know she isn't the same woman anymore. I miss the old Blair. I miss the way she was when she was younger. People rarely surprise me. I've seen too much. But Blair always had a way of keeping me off guard. I never really knew what to expect from her." He tried to explain.

" Blair ?" Nate asked, not understanding. Blair had always been, as far as he had seen, the same old Blair. Always steadfast and true to who she was. He had never been surprised by Blair. It was one of the things that he found comforting about her. She was exactly who you expected her to be all the time.

" You didn't know her like I did." Chuck smile whimsically.

Dan latched on to the thread of information and ran with it. " Do you remember the first time she surprised you ?" He asked, hoping that he was right.

Chuck drained his glass yet again, but this time instead of refilling it, he sat it aside and sank back into his chair. His expression took on a dreamy, distant quality and his voice dropped to almost a whisper. "Victrola." He answered, cryptically.

" What happened at Victrola ?" Nate pushed.

" Everything changed." Chuck said. " The way I saw her changed. The way I saw everything changed. It was like someone turned on a light after I'd been living in the dark my whole life."

Both men leaned forward even more. " What happened ?" Nate asked again.

Chuck laughed quietly. " She danced."

" What ?" Dan said, not sure he'd heard him correctly.

" I dared her to get up on stage. I didn't think she would. Blair was always so buttoned up, so reserved. I put her in that box in my mind. The virginal Ice Queen. I didn't think she'd ever do something like that. I didn't think she'd have the nerve." He explained.

" I wouldn't have thought so either." Nate agreed.

" But she did. The next thing I knew she was up there and her dress was falling at her feet. Seeing her there moving like that in that little slip..." His voice trailed off to nothing as he let himself sink into the memory.

No one said anything for a long while. Dan and Nate both knew they had found the information they were after. It was apparent from the look on his face. That had been the moment, the moment Chuck had fallen in love with Blair. He might not have known it at the time. But that night had changed his entire life.

" She was so beautiful and carefree and sexy." Chuck added dreamily. " That was the first time she surprised me. Then later when I was taking her home..." His eyes went to Nate and he didn't finish the rest of the sentence. " I couldn't stop thinking about her after that night."

" She hasn't changed that much." Nate tried to reason with him. " She's still beautiful and sexy. She might not be as carefree, but she's still the same deep down."

Chuck sat up and refilled his glass. " It isn't the same now. Every time I touch her I feel like an ass."

" Why?" Dan asked.

He tossed his drink back and slammed the glass back down on the table. " I feel like I'm taking advantage of her."

" That's ridiculous." Nate waved him off.

" No, it isn't. She's broken and I don't know how to fix her." Chuck answered.

Dan got to his feet and wobbled there for a minute. " I think it's time I found Vanessa and headed home. I have apparently had too much to drink." He announced.

Nate got to his feet as well. " I guess I need to be going, too."

Chuck followed them with his eyes until it registered that they were leaving. Then he got to his feet and walked them to the door.

Opening it, they found that the party had dissipated in their absence. The rooms were now devoid of any sign of life.

" I guess everyone's gone home." Nate commented as they walked through the empty rooms. " Where are our women ?"

The sound of laughter coming from the kitchen got their attention and they headed off in that direction.

They found the three women sitting at the bar with glasses of champagne in their hands and a delicious looking cheesecake between them. Blair was in the middle, holding audience as she regaled Serena and Vanessa with a story from high school. Vanessa, to her right, looked as if the stool beneath her might topple any moment. She had a fork in her hand poised over her own slice of the cake as she tried to clumsily keep her seat. Serena wasn't looking much better off, though her plate was empty and the glass she was holding was mostly so. Two empty bottles set off to the side, evidence that the three of them had been drinking for a while. They all looked around as the door opened and a multitude of giggles assaulted the men as they stepped into the room.

" Looks like we all had the same idea." Nate smiled as he came to Serena and slid a hand around her waist.

" We got bored with the party." Vanessa announced. " So we made our own."

Dan came to her and helped her from her stool. " I think it's time we got you home."

She nodded in agreement and said her goodbyes as he ushered her from the room.

" We should be going, too." Nate announced to a disappointed Serena.

She whined in protest but finally allowed him to lead her away as well.

Chuck watched from the doorway as Blair got to her feet and began to hum as she moved around the kitchen bar, cleaning up the evidence of the private party.

" You seemed to have had fun tonight." He commented as his eyes became glued to her hips that were swaying to whatever song she was quietly humming.

" I really did. Dorota put Eve down a while ago. It's been so long since I've had a night to just let loose." She smiled at him. Their earlier fight seemed to be forgotten and he was glad for that. He didn't want drama at the moment. He didn't want to think. He just wanted to spend some time with her without all the baggage that came with it lately.

" Care to join me for one more before we head to bed ?" He offered.

She stopped moving and looked at him intently. " I would love to." She answered finally.

She followed him into the living room and went to the stereo in the corner as he poured them both a final drink. Finding a song she liked, she turned up the volume so that it almost filled the room.

He turned to her, moving to hand her her drink but stopped the moment his gaze found her.

She was still standing at the stereo with her back to him. Her body was moving casually to the sounds streaming from the speakers. He was mesmerized as her hand came up and with a flick of her wrist she released her hair, letting it spill around her shoulders in a waterfall of chocolate waves that made his stomach do a flip.

Her hips were swaying again, undulating to the rhythm of the music she had chosen. He didn't recognize the song. It was something soft, slow and bluesy. He didn't know what it was but he knew he liked it. Or more to the point, he liked how much she seemed to be enjoying it.

The dress she wore was champagne colored and form fitting and it moved with her body as she danced to the song. A body, he noted, that had filled out quite nicely over the past few weeks. She was no longer the scarecrow thin, slip of a thing he remembered her being the last time he'd seen her like this. Her curves now did as they were supposed and curved voluptuously. His mind was instantly transformed back to the night at Victrola. The memory was so raw and fresh in his mind it was eerie, like she had read his thoughts and she was indulging in the memory with him.

He nearly dropped their glasses when she turned to him with a sexy smile and her tongue darted out to lick her lips. Her eyes were closed and he knew that she had no idea what she was doing. This wasn't an intentional thing. She wasn't trying to seduce him. That wasn't her plan. He couldn't see any hidden agenda in the show she was putting on. She wasn't even aware there was a show. She was just enjoying the feeling of letting go of all their recent stress and not thinking.

It was a beautiful thing.

His head was swimming as he negligently set the glasses back down on the table, forgetting them the moment they left his hands. His hands had other plans. His fingertips twitched with the need to feel her under them.

There was no power in the universe strong enough to stop him as he crossed over to her and slid his arms around her waist.

Her eyes shot open the moment his body came into contact with hers. The shock on her face was quickly replaced by something much darker. She didn't argue or try to pull away from him, instead, his name fell from her lips on a breath as her arms came around his shoulders and she snuggled herself into him more tightly.

The entire world ceased to exist as his mouth covered hers in a heated kiss that shook him to his core. She was still moving to the music and now she was bringing him along as well, her hips brushing his in a movement that nearly stole his breath.

He was having trouble staying on his feet and offhandedly he blamed the alcohol. But deep down he knew it was the feel of her in his arms that was causing the room to tilt.

He couldn't remember a time when he had ever wanted anything as much he wanted her right then. It had been so long, too long to go without her and he suddenly realized how insane that was. He had learned a long time ago that he needed her, he needed her like this. This feeling, the feeling that only she could inspire in him, was what he needed to live. She was like his essence and being without her made it impossible for him to be, well, him.

His tongue brushed across her lips and she parted them, allowing him entrance. He brush the roof of her mouth and indulged in the taste of champagne on her tongue. His arms tighten around her as he deepened the kiss even further. One of her hands moved to bury itself in his hair. Her fingertip brushed across the nape of his neck causing his breath to catch for a moment. When it resumed it was far faster than normal and his head was swimming because of it.

Again he wanted to blame the scotch, but again, he knew the intoxication he was feeling now was all her. His head dropped to the place where her neck curved into her shoulder and he took a deep breath, drawing her scent into his lungs as his lips brush across her skin.

" Chuck," She groaned again as he continued his assault on body with his lips. She said his name again and there was something more urgent in her tone.

He glance up at her face to gauge her expression. Was she pulling away from him ? Was she asking him to stop ? For the first time in a long, long time he didn't want to stop. He didn't feel guilty for touching her. He felt elated and he certainly didn't want to back away now. He had craved the feel of her for far too long.

Her face told him that she was indeed trying to get his attention and his eyes found hers as he took a deep breath and swallowed hard, ready to pull away if it was what she really wanted. But he wasn't about to give up without a fight.

" Please, Blair." He whispered. " Don't make me stop now." His voice was shaky and his tone entirely too earnest for his likely. " I know we shouldn't do this." He admitted. " But can we please just for one night not think about tomorrow or what everything means. I just need you so badly."

Her hand came up to cup his cheek and the smile she gave him caused his heart to speed up even more. " I'm not stopping you." She assured him as her hand slid from his shoulder and found his. " I just think maybe we should go upstairs."

He didn't give her a chance to change her mind. Instead he swiftly bent and swept her up in his arms.

" I can walk." She laughed as her clutched at his neck to steady herself.

He didn't bother to answer her. Opting to stop her protests with his lips instead.


	18. Their movie moment revisited

"Are you asleep ?" The raspy, groggy voice called to her from the darkness and Blair blinked her eyes slowly and cleared her throat.

" No," She answered, turning in the bed to face her husband.

She heard him shift and the bed moved before his arm came to rest around her waist. He used it to pull her into him, cradling her against his chest as his hand slid through her hair. Then he leaned his head down and found her lips with his, kissing her next words away before she had a chance to make any use of them. She hadn't really wanted to say anything anyway. This was a much better use of her mouth.

She couldn't get over how much she missed him. She hadn't even realized the enormity of it until he was back beside her. God, how had she managed to keep going without him ? It was a wonder.

Finally, he pulled away and cleared his own throat. Then he shifted, taking himself far enough away from her that they were only barely touching. " Can I stay here or would you rather I go back to my room ?" His voice was shaky as he asked the question. She wished she could see his face so she could judge his expression. Did he want her to tell him to go or stay ? She had no idea. It used to be so easy to read him. Now, everything was mixed up between them, she had no idea what to say.

So she went with the truth. " Of course I don't want you to go. But if you think you should, I understand." She didn't really, but she was willing to go along with whatever he wanted if it meant a continued peace between them.

She held her breath, waiting for him to say he was leaving, only letting it out when she felt him nestle into the bed beside her. She barely stifled the sigh of relief that was resting on her lips.

He was facing her. She could feel his breath brushing over her cheek as he lay there quietly thinking. She could almost hear that as well. The weight of his thoughts was so heavy she could feel their burden as well.

She didn't want to ask, was afraid of what the answer would be, but she couldn't stop herself. " What are you thinking about ?"

He moved and suddenly she felt his lips brushing over her bare shoulder. " How much I've missed you." He admitted, then moved his lips to the curve of her neck. " How much I've missed this."

Her heart flopped at his admission. It was more than she could have dreamed of from him. Only hours before she had begun to think that this was over. That her marriage was over. Now here he was, brushing his lips over the column of her neck and pulling her body so tightly into his she could scarcely breath. She didn't want to question what had brought about the change in him, she was just eternally thankful for it.

He found her lips with his and kissed her gently. It wasn't the kiss she was expecting and the pure tenderness of it caught her off guard.

When they broke apart, she could almost feel his eyes searching her out in the darkness. His hand came up and he brushed the back of his knuckled across her cheek. " I love you." He breathed out in what was little more than a whisper. " I've never stopped loving you. That has never changed."

" I love you, too, Chuck. Always have, always will." She answered as she leaned her face into his touch.

He was quiet and still for so long she thought he might have fallen asleep. But then his hand moved and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her protectively into his chest. " I want to make this work. I want to just forget everything and start over."

She was enjoying the feel of his arms around her so much she almost missed what he was saying. But as soon as her mind had a chance to process the words, she tensed and pushed him far enough away that she could think clearly. " What ?" She asked, not even aware that she had spoken out loud.

He hesitated for a moment before repeating himself. " I said I want to just forget everything and start over. Isn't that what you want ?"

She blinked in surprise. " You know it is. We just had this conversation a few hours ago. You can't tell me you forgot. You were the one that told me that wasn't even possible, remember ?"

He shifted and she felt the sheet that was cover them tighten as he sat up beside her. " I know that's what I said, but I've change my mind." He answered.

She sat up as well and turned her body so that she was facing him again. " Just like that, you changed your mind ?" She repeated.

She knew him. Changing his mind wasn't that easy. He wasn't a man that flipped through emotions like he was flipping through the channels on the television. A sudden horrible thought occurred to her. She did know him. She knew him better than anyone else in the world. And she knew she had hurt him, hurt him as deeply as anyone ever had. Chuck was not a man that took that lightly.

She grabbed at the sheet that was pooled in her lap and used it to cover herself, suddenly not feeling at all comfortable with her nakedness.

" Blair ?" He asked as he felt her move. " What is it ?"

She backed away from him further. " Please Chuck, tell this isn't what I think this is." She said, fearful that she was right.

" What do you think this is ?" He asked.

" Tell me this isn't some twisted game of revenge for you. Tell me you didn't do all this to get back at me for hurting you." She answered, barely able to form the words. If that was his plan, it was beyond cruel. He couldn't possibly hate her so much that he would put her through this without meaning any of it.

He moved faster than she expected him to and suddenly the sheet fell away from her chest as he snatched her hands in his and moved her back to his side. " Why would you even think that ?" He asked. " Do you really believe that I'm capable of something like that ? That I'm that cruel and calculating ? After everything we've been through, do you think I would play with you so calously ?" he asked, his breath warm on her face as his words became more and more heated.

Tears were welling in her eyes and she fought against them with every last ounce of stength she had. She had cried enough. She was done crying. " I don't know anymore. I just don't know anymore."

" This wasn't about revenge." He assured her, though his voice was hard and his tone harsh. " This was about me not knowing how to go on being me without you anymore. It was about not wanting to do this anymore. I just want you back. I'm so tired of fighting with you. I'm so tired of thinking and over thinking, it's driving me crazy. I realized that I agree with you. I can't do this anymore. I realized that I don't need anymore time to think. I'm done thinking. I just want to be happy again. Why is that so hard for you to understand ?"

" It isn't hard for me to understand, Chuck. It's exactly what I've been saying for days now. It's just hard for me to understand why you've suddenly changed your mind." She answered, her tone as harsh as his.

He let her go and got to his feet on the other side of the bed. " I can't believe this. For fuck's sake, Blair, we are actually fighting over the fact that neither of us wants to fight anymore ! This was a bad idea. Maybe there is no way we can go back now. Maybe it's just too late for us." He said. She could hear him shuffling around in the darkness, no doubt finding enough of his clothes to make a descent dash down the hall.

Her hands were balled into tight fists as she listened to him move. This was insanity. Finally she couldn't just sit there any longer and let him continue to push and pull at her emotions. She had had enough. One way or another she was going to end this thing between them once and for all.

She grabbed the sheet around her and reached out to flip on the light on the nightstand. Then she got to her feet and moved to stand in front of the door.

They had been through this before. It felt like years ago. She had won this particular battle last time and it turned out to be one of her greatest triumphs. She remembered very clearly standing in front of her bedroom door, her chin set determinedly, arm's crossed over her chest as she demanded that he tell her how he felt about her.

Now here she was once again, ready to go into battle with him. Arms crossed, just as before, chin jutting out, just like it had so long ago. But damn it, the intention was the same. If he wanted to leave this time, just like last time, he would have to move her.

She had gotten her movie moment that night. She had gotten everything she wanted that night. Tonight she was determined to do it again, or die trying.

He stopped instantly in mid-step when the light blinked on. He watched her as she took up her position in front of the door. She couldn't read much beyond the anger of his expression. Couldn't judge what he was thinking. But there was nothing he could do to stop her now. She had made up her mind. The roller coaster she'd been on in the last few months had just made it's final loop. The ride was over. The fighting was over.

" I'm not letting you go. If you're so determined to leave, you are going to have to move me." She announced, echoing the same words she had spoken so long ago.

Something suddenly shifted in his face as if his own memory of that night was just catching up with him. She watched him closely. His face was still full of anger. His bare chest heaved with it and his nostrils flared like a bull about to charge a red cape. Still she stood her ground, folding her arms even tighter around herself.

" Blair," He muttered warningly, taking a step closer to her.

" You don't scare me, Bass." She answered confrontationally.

In all honest the look on his face was scaring her more than a little. She thought this time he really might just pick her up and move her aside. But the thought of him slipping away from her like he'd been doing for so long scared her even more. She had no choice now but to see this through.

Again something shifted in his face and before she could contemplate what it was, he was on her. His hands wrapped around her upper arms and her heart sank as she realized he was about to do the one thing she wouldn't be able to forgive him for. He was going to simply move her aside. It was over. Well and truly over.

The minute the light flipped on he knew what would happen next and he braced himself inwardly for the mirage of tears that he fully expected. He hoped that he might be able to gather his things and be out the door before it began. He hated himself for feeling that way. He should be upset that she was upset. It used to rip his heart out to see her crying. But now it was just so commonplace and normal for her, it was hard for him to muster the proper feelings.

Just another reason for him to get out now. He didn't need anymore reasons to hate himself. He had accumulated plenty of those in his youth. Now he was trying to be a better man. He wanted to be the kind of man that his daughter could be proud. He couldn't afford to give himself reasons for self loathing.

But this pitiful creature that had taken over his wife's body was more than he could take. Maybe she was right, maybe he did hate her now. But not for any of the reasons she assumed. He hated her for taking away the strong, capable woman he married.

And he knew that this time the emotional tidal wave that was about to commence was entirely his fault. He should have been stronger. He should have walked away from her when he realized how close he was to the edge. He just fucking missed her so much. And seeing her there, moving to the music, not a care in the world, she had seemed so much like her old self. He was weak and vulnerable and if he didn't move quickly he would have to pay the consquences.

Now, here he was, shoeless, shirtless, pants hanging low on his waist because he hadn't had a chance to button them and making a run for the exit with the utmost speed. That meant he was a coward as well.

So much for not hating himself.

He stop trying to spot the rest of his things. He just wanted to be away from her before she broke down completely yet again.

He took a step towards the door and stopped dead in his tracks as he watched her get to her feet, tuck the sheet around her breasts and move to stand in front of the bedroom door.

His anger was nearly boiling now, and it was directed everywhere all at once, at her, at himself, at the whole god forsaken situation. She fully intended to stand there and make him witness her latest episode. Her intentions were written all over her face.

It was in that moment that he noticed the one thing that wasn't all over her face were tears. She wasn't crying, she wasn't sobbing uncontrollably. In fact, if he didn't know better, he'd say she was pissed off. It was hard to tell. It had been so long since he'd seen her like that.

There had always been something about Blair angry that did things to him. Early in their relationship, he used to do things, little, annoying things, just to make her mad. He felt a touch guilty about that, but God, nothing had ever turned him on much as seeing her with her beautiful brown eyes narrowed, shooting daggers at him, her cheek redden, her lushious, full lips set in that firm line and her arms crossed over her breasts defiantly. She was so gorgeous, so alive when she was angry.

It had been far, far too long since he'd witnessed it.

Then she jutted her chin out at him and opened her mouth to speak. " I'm not letting you go. If you want to leave," She said. " you'll have to move me."

His entire world seemed to shift on its axis suddenly. The memory of the last time she'd said those exact same words to him came crashing down on him and he almost reeled with the shock.

She wasn't gone. She was standing right in front of him. His Blair in all her angry, determined, controlling glory.

" Blair," He ground out, not believing what he was actually seeing but wanting to so very badly.

" You don't scare me, Bass." She answered without the slightest hint of hesitation.

It was so Blair, so like the old Blair, his Blair that it very nearly knocked him off his feet.

He didn't even realize he was moving until he was so close to her his chest was brushing against hers and his hands were wrapped around her arms.

She was looking up at him expectantly and he couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. " Isn't this the part where I tell you I'm damaged goods ?" He asked.

She blinked at him in confusion for a moment. Whatever she was expecting it certainly wasn't that. He had caught her off guard and it showed, but only for a moment. Then she was smiling back at him with a brilliant, magnificent twinkle in her eyes that caused his heart to stop for a moment. " If you do, I swear, I'll slap you again." She told him.

Her hand was resting in the middle of his chest now and he felt her fingers twitching against his bare skin.

She was still looking up at him and lowered his head and rested his forehead against hers. "Was I right back then ?" He asked after of few moments of just looking at her. " Are we destined to destroy each other ?"

She took a deep breath and her other hand came up to wrap around him and she buried her fingers in his hair. " Of course not. We worked so well once. Somewhere along the way we just stopped trusting each other. It used to be us against the world. Now its us against each other."

He was watching her lips as she spoke and he realized that she was absolutely right. She wasn't just his wife, she was his strongest ally, his most faithful fan, his loudest cheerleader and his toughest critic. Suddenly it was clear to him that, that was exactly why he was so angry at her. She had stopped being those things to him when Eve was taken. But he was all those things to her, too. Hadn't he stopped being those things when Eve was taken as well ?

He let his hands drop away from her and he backed away, taking himself out of her personal space.

" Chuck ?" She said taking a step towards him for every step he took away from her.

He continued to move backwards until the back of his legs found the side of the bed. He need to sit down. The enormity of the last few months hit him like a ton of bricks and he was finding it hard to keep his legs from shaking.

He let himself sink down onto the mattress and his head fell to his hands.

" Chuck ?" She repeated in concern as she came to kneel in front of him. " Are you alright ?"

He dropped his hands and looked up, finding her eyes staring back at him worriedly. " What the hell have we been doing to each other ?" He asked finally.

Her expression shifted into one of understanding. " Making each other completely miserable." She answered earnestly. Her hand that was resting on his thigh came up to cup his cheek. " I don't want to be miserable anymore." She told him. " I'm just not sure I know how to do that without you."

Of course she couldn't do that without him. Neither could he. He wasn't Chuck Bass without her. She wasn't Blair Waldorf without him. That was how it worked for them. It always had.

" I don't want to be miserable anymore either." He answered, cupping her cheek in his palm just like she was doing to him. " You've told me you're sorry a dozen times, I've never said I'm sorry, too."

She looked at him surprise. " What are you sorry for ?"

" I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I've been so selfish." He answered.

" You haven't been selfish and you have nothing to be sorry for." She shrugged off his apology.

He shook his head. " But I have been selfish and I wasn't there for you." He argued.

" Okay." She smiled. " Then I forgive you. Now tell me you forgive me, too and let's get past this."

He looked at her for a long time, honestly searching his feelings. How could he not forgive her ? She hadn't really done anything to him that he hadn't done to her in return.

He moved his tongue over his suddenly very dry lips. " I forgive you." He answered finally. " Now how do we get past it ?"

" I think this might be a good first step." She smiled at him as she leaned up and brushed her lips over his.

It was a tentative kiss, hesitant and unsure, like she didn't know whether he would push her away or pull her closer. How could she not know ? How could she not understand how much he had missed the feel of her lips against his ? His arms came around her and he pulled her up into his arms.

" I love you." She whispered against his lips.

" I love you, too." He assured her as he held her tighter and ran his hand through her hair.


	19. Whispers in the Night

Her small hands were tugging at his shoulders and he really didn't understand why, but he couldn't seem to find the will to pull his mouth from hers to find out. He knew she was trying to move him. But neither of them had the strength to move far enough away from each other to accomplish that it seemed. He felt as if he had been kissing her for hours and he still hadn't gotten enough. He didn't think he ever would.

His hand was splayed over the small of her back and her skin was so warm it felt like it was burning his palm. He had long since rid her of the useless sheet she'd been covering herself with. It was now in a heap around her knees.

She raised up and the movement served to push her bare breast into his equally bare chest. The feeling was amazing. He didn't think he'd ever get enough of that either. The feel of her skin gliding against his was something he never wanted to be without again.

" Chuck," She breathed to get his attention when he dropped his head to her throat and began tracing it's column with his tongue.

He pulled back enough to look into her eyes and raised an eyebrow at her in question. Whatever she wanted to say had better be important, damn it.

She smiled at him and pulled out of his arms. Then she raised up from her knees and took a step back.

He was just about to ask her where the hell she thought she was going, when she moved and it became obvious.

He watched her intently, studying her every movement as she crawled into the middle of the bed and extended a hand out to him. He didn't take it immediately. Instead, he stared at her for just a moment longer before closing his eyes tightly as he tried to commit the sight before him to memory. Seeing her like that was something he never wanted to forget again.

" Chuck," She said again, bringing him back to reality.

He stood from the bed and quickly let his pants fall to the floor before he joined her in the middle of the bed.

The minute his body was beside hers, she turned into him and wrapped her arms around him once more. It seemed they were of the same mind in the fact that neither of them wanted to be very far from the other at the moment.

It was a strangling, heavy need for him to be touching her right then. Like he needed to feel her in order to convince himself that she was really there with him and they really were done with all the fighting, the complications, the drama.

She raised her hand up to his cheek and he leaned his face into her touch. Turning his head, he placed a kiss into the center of her palm. Then to each of her fingers before moving to her wrist. He lingered there for a long handful of moments, letting his tongue swirl over her delicate skin and reveling in the sounds she was making in response. Most people weren't aware that the inside of the wrists were one of the body's erogenous zones, but he was Chuck Bass and if there was anything he considered himself a master of, it was the human body. And the body beneath him was his favorite instrument. He knew her so well, knew every place to touch to make her groan, every spot to nip to make her gasp. And he loved it, every sound she made under his skillful exploration of her made his temperature soar that much higher, made his heart pound that much harder, made his body throb that much stronger.

Blair had always been a vocal lover he wouldn't want her any other way.

He captured her hand in his and held it out so he could move to the inside of her elbow with his mouth. Another place most didn't know about, but he did. Here, he nipped and she squirmed under him. His next stop was the curve of her shoulder, then the ridge of her collarbone. That served to lead him to his favorite place on her body, the hollow of her throat. Here, he pressed his tongue and was rewarded by both the taste of salt on her skin and the feel of her pulse racing, both evidence of what he was doing to her.

" Chuck," She groaned when he let his head fall to her breast.

He swirled his tongue around her pert, hardened nipple several times before slipping it inside his mouth and sucking on it. She lifted herself off the bed, pushing her breast further into his mouth. His hand found her other breast and he cupped it into his palm, letting his thumb glide over the nipple. When she bucked under him, he switched sides, giving her opposite breast the same treatment.

She was shifting beneath him and he knew what her intentions were. She had had enough teasing and was trying to urge him inside her.  
But he wasn't quite ready yet. Earlier their lovemaking had been frantic and uncontrolled. And that was fine. It was about the need to be close to one another after being apart for far, far too long. But now he wanted time to re-familiarize himself with her, to get to know her all over again. He wanted time to relish and revel in the feel of her. He wanted a chance to make her completely his again.

She had other ideas. With her legs wrapped tightly around his hips, she shifted one last time and suddenly he found himself positioned right at her entrance.

He threw his head back in surprise as the warmth and wetness of her brushed across the head of his erection. It was more than he could take. Finding her lips with his, he let himself sink into her. His hands, resting at the sides of her head, were balled into fist and he clenched his eyes shut so tightly that they ached as he sank deeper and deeper, inch by agonizingly slow inch. He didn't stop until there was no where left for him to go. Once there, he stopped moving completely, letting himself savor the feel of her walls clutching at him so tightly it took his breath away.

" God, Blair." He breathed when he couldn't stand it any longer and began to move.

The pace he sat was lazy and lingering. He didn't want to hurry this time. She may have ended his game of teasing but he wouldn't let her rush this.

She moved right along with him, matching him move for move, her legs tightened even more around his waist and he felt her heels digging into the tops of his thighs.

The feeling was dizzying. His entire body was shaking with need of her. His sweat slick skin glided against hers. Her hand buried itself in his hair and he delighted in the way her fingers seemed to spasm, pulling at his hair as he moved inside her. His name fell from her lips like a whisper in the night just as her name fell from his.

The peak, when they reached it didn't come all at once this time. Instead it seemed to descend on them as if they were falling over a waterfall. She was there first, like she normally was and the sensation of her body convulsing around him, caused him to follow swiftly along with her.

When reality finally began to creep into the edges of his consciousness again, she was still laying under him and he seemed to be draped over her like a blanket she was using to fight off the cold. He didn't want to move, but he knew that he was far too heavy to stay like he was for long. She was already having enough trouble catching her breath without the added burden of his weight on top of her.

He rolled to his side, bringing her along with him until she was the one sprawled over him in a boneless heap of useless limbs. He understood exactly how she felt. He wasn't doing a very good of controlling his body either.

Neither of them spoke until their breathing was somewhat under control. Then he leaned his head up and kissed the top of her head gently. " I love you." He whispered into her brown curls.

She raised her face to his lazily and found his lips. It was a sloppy, lazy kiss and when she pulled away it was with a smile. " I love you, too."

He thought she had fallen asleep and truthfully he was only barely awake himself when he felt her shift and raise her head.

" Are you asleep ?" She asked in a quiet whisper meant not to disturb him if he was asleep.

" No, not quite." He answered as he pulled her head back down to his chest. He just wasn't comfortable with even that much separation between them at the moment.

" What are you thinking about ?" She asked, settling herself back on his chest. Her hair brushed across his skin and it sent a shiver down his spine.

He chuckled, remembering that they had just had this same conversation only a few hours before. "Interestingly enough, I was thinking about the exact same thing I was thinking about last time you asked me that."

She laughed with him, it was a quiet, subdued sound. Her finger started making small circles across his chest. " I was thinking the same thing. I really have missed you. Missed us." She told him.

His arm tightened around her waist and he pulled her a little closer into his side. " It's okay. We won't ever have to miss each other again." He assured her.

He was just about to shift down in the bed so that he could kiss her when the ringing of his cell phone grabbed his attention.

He glanced at the clock beside the bed and sighed. Who could be calling him at two-thirty in the morning ?  
Knowing that a call at that hour was never good news, he shifted Blair away from him and reached down to snatch his pants from the floor to retrieve his phone from his pocket.

" Bass." He snapped impatiently as he hit the talk button.

" Is this Charles Bass ? Nephew of Jack Bass ?" The voice on the other end of the line asked him.

" Yes, Jack is my Uncle. Who is this ?" He asked, sitting up on the side of the bed.

" My name is Lieutenant Montoya with the Houston Police." The woman said. " I'm afraid I have some bad news, Mr. Bass. Your Uncle was killed earlier tonight."

Chuck sat up straighter and rested his hand over Blair's which was on his shoulder as she was leaning over him trying to hear the other end of the conversation as well. " Killed ?" Chuck asked in surprise. "What happened ?"

" We are still trying to figure out all the details." She answered professionally.

" Who killed him ?"

" We've arrested a Georgina Sparks. She made a full confession. I'm so sorry for your loss." The woman answered with more compassion in her voice than Chuck would have expected from a call like this.

" I thought Georgina was already in jail. How did she get out ?" Chuck said.

" A judge granted her bail yesterday. It was a rather high bail, but Mr. Bass paid it." She explained.

Chuck found himself fighting hard against a bout of ironic laughter. " So you're telling me that Jack bailed Georgina out of jail and she killed him in return ?"

" It looks that way." The police woman agreed.

" How ?" Chuck asked as an afterthought, silently chiding himself for hoping it was gruesome and grizzly.

" She shot him three times in the chest." was his answer and he decided he could leave with that though something more horrible would have been more to his liking.

He felt Blair shift and move her hand as she sank slowly into the bed behind him. He reached his hand out to her and she took it.

" So what happens now ?" Chuck asked. " What do you need from me ?"

" Nothing in a legal sense." The office informed him. " We have everything we need. But the funeral home will be contacting you about what you'd like to do with your uncle."

" Tell them not to bother. You can have it. Burn, bury it, donate it to science for all I care." He answered before hanging up the phone and tossing it back to the floor on top of his pants.

He flipped on the light on the nightstand and turned to find Blair sitting against the pillows with a shocked expression on her face.

" Blair ?" He asked as he moved closer to her. Surely she wasn't upset that Jack was dead. The only thing that bothered him about the whole the thing was that he hadn't gotten a chance to kill him himself.

She blinked quickly as if clearing something away from her vision and a smile slowly crept across her features. He sighed in relief at the sight.

" I feel so terrible for being so glad that he's dead." She mumbled.

" Blair," Chuck moving to her and wrapping her up in his embrace. " The man kidnapped your daughter, he tore us apart. I have a sneaking suspicion that your rapist doctor was working for him as well. Then he tried to buy my company out from under me. Why would you feel bad for being glad he's dead ?" He asked, brushing his hand through her hair in way of offering some sort of comfort to her.

" I shouldn't be this happy about it. A man is dead. That shouldn't make me happy." She answered, but the smile was still tugging at the corners of her mouth.

" An evil, sadistic man that was hellbent on destroying our lives in some twisted form of revenge is dead. If that isn't reason to celebrate I don't know what is. I feel like shouting it from the roofs. We should have a party." He told her.

She was still for a moment longer, then she turned into his and threw her arms around his shoulders.

" Oh my God, it really is over." She cried out joyously.

" Yes, Blair." He answered, tighten his hold on her. " He's gone. It really is over."


	20. The Long and Winding Road

Chuck Bass stretched and gave a contented sigh as he realized that he had actually slept. Slept better than he had in months. And he knew the reason for that was snuggled tightly into his chest. He wrapped his arms tighter around his wife and took in the smell of her hair. That had been one of the things he missed most about being away from her for so long. He had become accustom to the smell of her hair greeting him every morning.

He lay there a bit longer, thinking about getting up to go in search of his daughter, but he couldn't surmount to will to move. He was just too happy where he was at and if Eve need them, she'd be the first to let them know about it. Maybe she was sleeping in as well.

A glance over Blair's shoulder at the clock said it was creeping up on ten o'clock. He couldn't remember the last time he'd still been in bed at this hour. Then he almost laughed at the thought. In his youth he hadn't been able to pull himself out of bed before noon most days. Now at nine forty-five, he felt lazy for still being in bed.

Blair shifted and stirred beside him, showing signs that she was waking as well. Pressing his hips a little more securely into the curve of her bottom, he wondered if anyone would miss them if they stayed in bed just a little while longer.

When she gave a little groan at the movement and pressed herself back into him, arching her back in the process, he knew he just didn't care if they were missed.

He leaned up, turned her in his arms to find her awake as well and processed to enjoy waking up next to his wife once again.

An hour and a long shower later, he was standing in front of one of the bathroom's mirrors shaving while Blair was beside him, looking into the other as she brushed her teeth. It was domestic bliss at its best. And he couldn't have been happier about that.

" Are you going to the office today ?" She asked as she finished with the toothbrush and move on to mouth rinse.

" I probably should. I need to call a meeting with the board members to let them know the danger has passed." He answered, wiping off the remains of shaving cream from his now smooth face.

" Speaking of that..." She began and she was using that voice that said he wasn't going to like what came next. He braced himself and waited. " I want to hire a lawyer for Georgina."

He dropped the towel he was using and turned to look at her like she'd just spoken in some alien tongue. " Why would we do that ?"

She took a deep breath and a step closer to him. " We both know who Jack was. He was manipulative and evil. We can't begin to understand what he told her to make her join him. But I know Georgina. You know Georgina. She wasn't a nice person. But she wasn't really that different than you and I used to be."

He thought about that for a moment. She was right. Georgina wasn't an evil woman. She had her moments. And at times she went far too far with her scheming and lying, but she had never done anything to truly hurt another person.

" Alright." he agreed finally. " I'll make some calls."

" Do you think we might get to talk to her ?" Blair asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek lightly.

" You want to talk to her ?"

" I just thought, you know, maybe she had some answers that we don't have."

" I really don't think talking to her is a good idea." He argued. " I'll hire her the best lawyer money can buy, but beyond that, I think it's better if we just forget she ever existed and go on with our lives."

She rested her head on his shoulder. " Maybe that's why I want to talk to her. It's about closure. If I can understand why all this happened to us, maybe it'll be easier to put it behind us."

" I know they plan to extradite her back here for the kidnapping charges." He answered with a heavy sigh. " Mike told me. So I suppose, once that happens it wouldn't be that hard to gt in to talk to her. But that's only if she wants to talk to us."

Blair nodded. " I understand."

She nuzzled her nose into the side of his neck and it instantly served to speed up his pulse. Then she began laying soft kisses along the column of his throat and his arms tightened around her on instinct.

" Blair." He whispered in protest. " I really have to get to the office."

" Hmmm," She moaned in answer as her hands skirted across his bare chest.

He grabbed one of them in his to still her only moments before she made it to the towel around his waist. " You are incorrigible." He smiled before kissing her.

" I've missed you." She replied. " Are you sure you have to go in today ? I was thinking we could take Eve to the zoo."

" The zoo ?" He chuckled. " I haven't been to the zoo since I was a child."

" Me either. It'll be fun. We can show her all the animals and play with her all day long." Blair enticed him.

He kissed her again and the smile on her face said she knew she'd won the battle. " How about this ? I'll go into the office," Her bottom lip came out in a pout and he paused long enough to draw into his own mouth and nip at it lightly. She jerked in surprise and pulled back with a smile. " See that's what happens when you stick that out." He warned her. " Now, as I was saying. I'll go into the office for a few hours. Just long enough to make sure everything is running along fine without me. Then I'll come home and you can have all the time you want with me."

" A few hours ?" She asked as if she were certain he was playing some kind of trick on her.

He glanced at his father's watch which was fastened around his wrist. " I'll be home by three at the latest."

" If you aren't here by three. We're coming to get you." She replied as she let her arms slip from his shoulders.

" It's a deal." He agreed.

In the limo as he rode to the office, he thought about how difficult it had been to leave them. Blair had walked him to the elevator with Eve tucked onto her hip. After kissing them both goodbye he'd nearly turned right back around when Eve raised her tiny little hand and waved at him right before the doors closed.

He could easily imagine that scene replaying itself over and over as the years went by. Soon Eve would be standing on her own, leaning on her little tiptoes to kiss his cheek. Soon she'd be running after him, begging him to stay home and play with her instead of going to work. All too soon, he'd be taking her with him, dropping her off at school on his way. He imagined teaching her to ride a bike. Playing with her in the park. Dance recitals and scout meetings. PTA and report cards. School dances and boys that weren't nearly good enough for her.

His chest tightened at that thought and he had a sudden whimsical urge to buy a gun. He wondered if she'd grow into the kind of teenager Blair was, all reserved and refined. And he prayed with everything inside him that she didn't turn out more like him. God help him, if she did.

Suddenly the urge to go to the office seemed silly. He'd already missed so much. The office would just have to carry on without him for a little while longer. He had some catching up to do and it had nothing to do with work.  
He leaned forward, pressed the button to lower the glass between him and the driver and ordered him to turn around.

It was time he started getting reacquainted with his family. It was time to start living the life he wanted to live. It was time to remember what it felt like to be happy.

THE END


End file.
